Enigma
by MadameRozaBelikova
Summary: A year after Rose dies in LS, she is sent back to Earth as Lissa's bond mate, with one caveat. She can't tell anyone who she is. Waking up in the court's infirmary as a moroi princess was the last thing Rose expected and even more shocking is that her newly assigned guardian is none other than her former lover. Can Dimitri fall in love with her soul again despite her new status?
1. Prologue

**Hey All I'm Back! I told you I would be. This was one of two stories I had floating around in my head. I hope you like it. The Prologue is just a little tidbit. Chapter one will explain a little more. If you like it review if you don't… let me know anyways.**

**Last Sacrifice happened except Rose died instead of being brought back at the end. It is nearly one year later. Bloodlines and everything also happened so Adrian, Jill, Sydney and Eddie are in Palm Springs, but make occasional appearances for holidays and summers and stuff. Adrian and Sydney are in a secret relationship. Jill is no longer a target because Lissa managed to change the law that made her need Jill alive to keep the throne.**

**I am taking generous liberties with the royal families and such so if things aren't exactly the same don't freak out, they aren't supposed to be for my story to work. **

**Prologue**

RPOV

The last few seconds of my life were stained into my memory. The sights and sounds I heard last haunted me; a gunshot ringing out, a young blond girl's hysterical scream, the love in a man's eyes as he held me while I lay dying. I couldn't remember anything tangible about my life other than those things. I didn't know my name, where I had lived, who that man was and why he was looking at me like that. Everything before I arrived here, where I was now, remained shrouded in mystery.

Everything since I came to be in this place had blended together. I was alone, but I didn't mind because I was happy. I didn't understand how I came to be here or why and most of the time I didn't think much about it. The place where I was wasn't really a place at all. It was just a feeling. I was warm, safe and loved and it felt amazing. I knew in the back of my mind that I had unfinished business, but I couldn't do anything about that now. I couldn't remember what it was or why it was important. It just felt unfinished. I had no physical form here, just a few memories of things that seemed to have happened long ago in a time and place that felt so far away.

Once in a while, I would get flashes of what I thought were the past only to realize that they were in fact happening in the present, just nowhere near where I was, wherever I was. Sometimes I would see flashes of the blond girl. She seemed sad. She had many others around her who seemed to worship her, bowing down, bringing her things and guarding her. She cried a lot at night, when she was alone. She must be important, whoever she was. I almost felt bad for her sometimes. Her feelings were so real to me. It was like I could feel her sadness bleeding through the clouds around me and into my soul.

Sometimes I saw flashes of a red haired woman. She was always fighting. She must be a very angry person. She never smiled. Then there was an older man. He seemed to live in a dark world. The people he kept company with were intimidating, threatening even. His appearance was much like theirs, but for some reason I had only good feelings when I saw him.

Mostly though, I saw the man, the one who had held me as I took my last breath, looking down at me with those beautiful chocolate orbs. He was like the woman with the red hair. He fought a lot, sometimes with other people and sometimes with what I called the monsters. I felt the evil whenever he was in their presence. They seemed to want to harm the blond girl. Maybe he was her protector. Whatever the case, he was sad too. He often sat alone with coffee and a newspaper or in a small dank room, alone with a book. He didn't seem to do much else. Sometimes he would dream. I wasn't privy to his inner thoughts, but they must have upset him. He would wake up, panting and sweating calling out the same name over and over. Roza, he would cry before the tears would come. I wondered who she was and why he dreamt of her so often.

Those were the dozens of questions that kept me occupied for countless hours, days, weeks, who knows maybe even years. Time had no meaning where I was. It was peaceful there, but sometimes my mind wandered. That is when I would get the flashes.

"Rose," I heard someone calling out a name in the distance. I heard it a few more times. The voice seemed familiar. It had been a long time since I'd heard anything at all that I thought maybe I had imagined it. Suddenly, I was yanked from the solitude and serenity of the place I was in. I blinked my eyes as my surroundings slowly came into view. I was in a beautiful meadow. The sun shone bright in the sky nearly blinding me. There was a lake with geese swimming in it. I watched in awe as the ripples that formed in their wake slowly disappeared.

"Is this heaven?" I wondered aloud. My voice echoed frightening me a little as I hadn't heard it in well, I'm not sure how long.

"Is someone there?" I called out, louder this time finding my bearings as I heard rustling in the trees off to my right.

"Don't be afraid," a voice called out as a young man emerged from the foliage. He was tall with striking red hair and freckles.

"Who are you?" I asked backing up uncertain of his intentions.

He looked me over once. "I hate when they do this," he said coming closer.

"Do what?" I asked taking another step back.

"Do you want to know who I am and why you're here?" he asked.

"Ye ye yes," I stammered.

"Then hold still," he commanded. I did as I was told and stared at him wide eyed as he placed his hands on either side of my forehead. A bright white light emanated from him and a barrage of memories swirled around me invading my mind so quickly I fell backwards landing on solid ground.

"Woah there, careful," the man said holding out his hand for me. I winced as he helped me to my feet, the floodgates in my mind still wide open for the deluge that was springing forth. I blinked my eyes several times before scrutinizing his face meticulously.

"Mason?" I gasped my eyes popping open wide with astonishment.

"Glad to see you haven't forgotten me," he said with a small smirk.

"How? Wait, what are you doing here? You're…."

"Dead?" he finished for me.

I nodded, fresh tears welling up in my eyes.

"Rose, think back to the last thing you remember," he said placing his hand in mine leading me over to a large rock next to the lake.

I took a deep breath and focused intently on remembering how I had gotten here. It didn't look like any place I'd ever been before, not even in those silly spirit dreams Adrian had drawn me into.

Flashback

_**I flinched as I saw Tasha with a gun in her hand. I wasn't in my own body. I was in Lissa's and she was in danger. I snapped back into my own body, springing into action as I ran forward at warp speed. I managed to maneuver myself in front of her just as the shot rang out shielding her body absorbing the bullet with my chest. **_

I reeled back in shock. "Am I dead too?" I whispered looking my friend in the eye.

"I'm afraid so," he said cradling my cheek in the palm of his hand.

"For how long?" I asked.

"Almost a year now," he said shaking his head sadly.

"A year? What the hell? Why don't I remember being here for a year?" I shouted jumping to my feet.

"Who's taking care of Lissa? What about Dimitri? What happened with Jill?" I rushed out everything that was crowding my mind.

"Dimitri and Christian have been taking care of Lissa," he said. "Just like you would have wanted." Dimitri, oh how my heart ached for him. We had only just found each other again and to lose what we had a second time so soon was just my dumb luck.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "What about the spirit?" I asked trying to take my mind away from the painful memories of Dimitri.

"Shh, Rose, one question at a time," he said chuckling. "You haven't changed a bit," he said ruffling my hair fondly.

"Uh hello in case you haven't noticed, I'm dead," I cried putting my head in my hands.

"Cheer up Rosie, you're about to be given the chance of a lifetime," he said becoming more serious.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's been brought to the attention of the powers that be, that Lissa isn't handling her darkness all that well without you."

"What? Is she okay?" I asked.

"She's okay for now, but the powers feel that it would benefit her to have her bond mate back to take the excess darkness when necessary and since she is a very important figure in history right now, they're willing to send you back to Earth to take care of her."

"Really? I'm going to be alive again?" I asked not quite believing what I was hearing.

"That's the plan," he said.

"Great, can I go now?" I asked hopping down off the rock. I was more than a little anxious to resume my old life, however he was going to pull that off.

"Not so fast," he said clasping my arm.

"There's a catch, ugh, there's always a catch," I said sulking a little. Whatever it was I could live with it. Being back on Earth meant that I would see Dimitri again and Lissa of course. Whatever the powers that be or whoever wanted was a small price and I was happy to pay it.

"There's a stipulation."

"Okay lay it on me,"I said anxious to be on my way back to my family and friends and the love of my life.

"You can't tell them who you are," he stated.

"What?" I asked my jaw dropping.

He shrugged. "That's the deal. If you at anytime attempt to regain the life you once had by telling them who you are or rather who you used to be, you will be taken away and there won't be any going back."

"How in the world am I not supposed to tell them it's me? I mean they're going to be able to see me right? I'm not going back as a ghost am I?" That would be really stupid. I guess I'd still take it because it would be better than nothing, but it would suck if I were invisible.

"Oh they'll be able to see you alright. You just won't look like you," he said.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"You'll figure it out," he said. "Are you ready?"

"What no? Tell me what it means," I said.

"No time. It's imperative that you go now," he said looking off into space as if he had heard something I didn't.

"See you around Rosie," he said kissing my cheek as he and the meadow began to fade into the distance.

"Wait, no, you have to explain," I cried, but it was too late. I had a sudden feeling like I was falling and then nothing.

"Clear, one two three," a loud voice called and the next thing I felt was being shocked back to life.

**There you have it. Leave me a review and let me know how you like it so far. I will try to update my usual once a week. **


	2. Chapter 1: Regrets

**Chapter 1: Regrets **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy This story is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not intended for monitary gain or copyright infringement. All characters belong to Richelle Mead whom I thank for allowing her fans to have fun with her ideas and characters. **

**Your response to my Prologue was amazing. Your reviews inspired me to punch this chapter out this morning. You all deserve a treat so I am posting this today to say thank you to everyone who has followed my stories and encouraged me to write. I've been having a tough time this past year and writing has been something to keep me distracted and give me something to look forward to. I hope you enjoy this early update. It's just a little bit about how Lissa and Dimitri have been doing since Rose's death. **

LPOV

"Queen Dragomir, I know it's late, but there's been an attack." I rubbed my eyes sleepily cradling the phone to my ear as I sat up in bed. Christian, who was awake beside me turned on the lamp.

"Was it near here?" I asked swinging my feet over the side of the bed shoving them in my slippers.

"I'm afraid it was and it was bad."

" The casualties on our side were numerous," Hans stated as we sat around the table in my private chambers. We had gathered as quickly as we could after receiving word that an attack of epic proportions had occurred just one hundred miles from the Royal Court.

"Who was involved?" I asked knowing the victims had to have been royals for it to have been brought to my attention at this hour of the night.

"It was the Lazar family."

"How many?" I asked. The Lazar's were nearly as extinct as the Dragomir line. Only three families were still in existence.

"Seven in total, including Prince Rupert." I shook my head in disbelief. Not only had we lost seven of the remaining twenty-three members of the Lazar line, but the prince as well. I knew he had been outside the wards visiting family this week, but he had two highly trained guardians.

I let out a breath of air. "We will prepare the funeral at once," I said. I didn't want to think about who I was going to have to crown as the next Lazar Prince. He had been my headmaster at St. Vlademir's for a short time and his daughter Avery had wreaked havoc on my mind. He should be inelligible and would be if there had been any survivors of Prince Rupert's family.

He nodded. "What should we tell Prince Rupert's daughter when she is awake?" he asked. My head snapped up.

"Soraya is alive?" Soraya Lazar was Prince Rupert's youngest child. She was twenty and attended Lehigh with me. I hadn't spent too much time with her over the years, mainly because as far as royals went she was a little haughty. The fact was though that even if she was kind of stuck up, she would make a much better Princess than anyone related to Avery. She was very intelligent, well spoken and had a high moral code even if she did act like an entitled snob at times.

"She was in bad shape, but was choppered in to the court's infirmary about an hour ago. They're optimistic she will survive the night."

I exchanged a look of relief with Dimitri who was as usual standing guard at the door. He had made good on his promise to always watch over me. It was what Rose would have wanted. I held back tears as I thought of my best friend. I couldn't believe it had been nearly a year since she'd sacrificed herself for me. That day would always be fresh in my mind.

Flashback

_**A shot rang out and just as my life flashed before my eyes, Rose threw herself between me and the speeding bullet. Shouts erupted and I heard myself screaming as she fell to the ground, a puddle of blood pouring out from her heart. **_

"_**Rose, nooooo!" I wailed. I went to kneel down and lay my hands over her when I felt someone dragging me away. **_

"_**No, wait. She needs me, you can't do this," I hollered kicking and screaming as my captor continued to pull me away from her. I could see Dimitri holding her. Her eyes were open. If I could just break free, I could get to her, but I couldn't. **_

"_**It's for your own good Princess. She's dangerous." **_

"_**She is not! She just saved my life or did you not see that!" I screeched clawing at his arms. **_

_**I was shoved into a room with the rest of the royals with guardians monitoring the exits. After pounding on the doors for what seemed like forever begging them to let me out, I felt arms around my waist.**_

"_**It's not use, they're holding us hostage." I turned around and wept tears of sadness. My only hope had been that if I couldn't get to her, that Adrian had. Seeing the look on his face told me that he hadn't been allowed near her either. With the two of us locked up in here, what chance did she have?**_

_**Christian did his best to console me, but he was grieving as well. It was after all his aunt who had caused this entire mess. My mind was still reeling with the fact that Tasha had killed Queen Tatiana and consequently may have just killed my best friend.**_

_**After what seemed like an eternity, the doors were opened. I rushed as fast as I could to the infirmary. I was about to burst through the doors when I caught sight of someone slumped against a tree on the far side of the building. My heart leapt into my throat as I recognized Dimtri's tall figure. **_

_**His eyes met mine and even thought he didn't say it, I knew my best friend was gone. **_

"_**No," I cried in disbelief. "She wouldn't leave me! Rose is a fighter. I want to see her," I demanded.**_

"_**Abe and Janine are with her now," he said, his voice gruff. His hands and his clothing were full of blood, her blood. **_

"_**I can bring her back," I said taking off towards the door.**_

"_**No!" he cried stepping in front of me. **_

"_**Why not? You don't want her back? You said you loved her. Were you lying?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him.**_

_**He shook his head. "It wasn't a lie. I do love her. I always will, but she wouldn't want you to bring her back. It isn't right." **_

"_**So what if it isn't right? Her being dead is right? How can you say that?" I asked bursting into a hysterical fit. **_

_**He put his hands on my shoulders. "It was the right thing for her. She prepared her whole life for that one moment. We need to honor her last wish." **_

"_**She would have wanted to live," I argued. **_

"_**I know, but she always knew it would come down to her or you and this is what she wanted." **_

"_**She can't be gone. She was my best friend. What do I do now?"**_

"_**You do what she fought so hard for," he said looking me in the eye. I looked up at him in confusion. **_

"_**She found your sister. Now you have a quorum. Win that election and change the world. Don't let her have died in vain." His voice shook as he spoke and I knew it was only a matter of time before he had a complete meltdown, but his words hit home. Rose had given up everything including her life so that I could fulfill my destiny to become Queen. If I didn't go through with the elections, then I would be dishonoring everything she stood for. **_

_**I sniffled. "I will, but I still want to see her," I insisted.**_

"_**Very well, I will take you," he agreed. I was glad he was being the strong one here, because I was about to fall apart.**_

_**We passed Janine and Abe as they were exiting. Abe had his arm around Janine's shoulders and if I wasn't mistaken there were tears in both their eyes. Rose had always thought her parent's abandoning her meant they didn't love her. I hoped she knew they did. **_

_**I took a deep breath preparing myself to see her. Truth was that nothing could have prepared me to see her like that. I gasped at her ashen cheeks and dull lifeless hair. They had taken care to clean her up and hide the blood, but she didn't look like my Rose anymore. She was too still. **_

"_**I'm so sorry," I whispered stepping forward, taking her hand in mine. It was cold and limp, but I held onto my best friend desperately needing to tell her everything I was feeling. **_

"_**I love you Rose, you will always be with me in everything I do. You were the only one who ever understood me. I don't know how to live without you," I sobbed. It went on like this for a few more minutes until I felt Dimitri's hand on my shoulder.**_

"_**Princess, I think we should be getting you back to your room." **_

_**I lay awake that night and for many nights after riddled with guilt that she had given her life for mine. Was I worthy and deserving of the second chance I'd been given? I wanted to be. I wanted her to be proud of me. I hoped someday she would look down on me from wherever she was and know that everything I do is because of her. Everything I accomplish will have been because she had the courage to give her life for me. I cried each night wondering how someone with such a good heart could be taken from this world when so many others whose hearts were black and evil were allowed to live. **_

_**End Flashback**_

DPOV

I woke with a start. It took me a minute to realize that it wasn't for the reason I was usually awake at odd hours of the night. My phone was ringing.

"Belikov," I answered clearing my throat.

"There's been an attack not far from court. You're presence is requested with the Queen."

I dressed quickly, holstered my stake and my gun and made my way quickly across the courtyard to the palace. It was a short walk. I was a member of the royal guard and therefore was given priority housing. My apartment was a lot nicer than the one I'd had when I was first brought back to the royal court, not that I cared. Life had lost all meaning for me since I'd lost Rose. My heart ached at the thought of those first few weeks after I'd been restored to my Dhampir state.

I deeply regretted not running straight into Roza's arms after she saved me. I'd been foolish in thinking I couldn't love her after who I was and what I'd done, especially to her. I'd wasted so much precious time with her, wallowing in my own self pity. I'd inflicted so much pain on her during that time. I'd never forgive myself for it. In the end, I knew she had known I loved her and she'd forgiven me even though she shouldn't have, but that wasn't enough. It would never be enough. Life without her was painful. Every breath I took in her absence was like a dagger being driving just far enough into my heart to pierce it and cause me indescribable pain, but not enough to kill me and put me out of my misery.

In repentance, I would take care of Lissa for her, the way I knew she would have wanted. I'd thought at first that it was Lissa to whom I owed my life, but I was wrong. It was Rose. She had given up everything to hunt me down to release my soul. She had fought the temptation to become strigoi, when it would have been so easy for her to succumb to my advances in her weakened state of grief. She was the one who had broken Viktor Dashkov out of prison just to extract the secret of changing me back. Lissa had played a key roll in all of it, but without Rose and her love for me to drive her to complete the insane mission, my soul would still be at the hands of the beast I'd been. I would still be out there committing atrocities. It was me who should have died that day, not her. She deserved so much better than the cards life had dealt her.

She had only just begun to live when her life was ended by one of our own. It was noble to go out fighting, but this was a fight that should never have been. Strigoi were evil by nature, but Tasha had made the conscious decision to assassinate Queen Tatiana and again to pick up and fire the gun that had taken the life of the one I loved. She was by far the more evil of the two. I couldn't believe the lengths she'd gone to not only to frame Rose, but the reasons behind it. She had done it to get Rose out of the way so she could have a chance with me. It was my fault Rose was gone and even though I'd tried my best to shield her as the bullet was fired, I was too late. If I had run faster, anticipated Tasha's actions or even just been closer to Rose or Lissa at the time, maybe she'd still be here. The what ifs swirled in my head constantly day and night plaguing me. I'd wake up night after night after reliving those last few moments over and over. Once in a great while, I'd figure it out sooner. I'd jump in front of her and she would live, but those were few and far between. Mostly I just watched the life bleed out of her over and over as I cradled her in my arms.

I snapped out of my reverie as I reached the gates to the palace punching in my code, nodding to the guardian on duty as I passed through the entryway.

It was no surprise to me that the Lazar family had been the target of the latest attack. Their numbers were dwindling and they were soon to be just as precious a commodity as Lissa and Jill.

It was a relief to Lissa that Prince Rupert's daughter Soraya had lived through the attack. It saved her the headache of crowning the father of the girl who had tried to kill her last year. I wasn't quite sure that Soraya would make the best choice for a seat on the council either, but her father was accorded the highest praises and she had respected and stood by all of his decisions for the past several years and that was a good jumping off point.

I myself didn't know too much about her personally. She was twenty and attended Lehigh. Her guardian had been an acquaintance of mine so I had met her on several occasions. It saddened me that he had been killed in the attack. To me she was just another young royal, who would now have a great responsibility thrust upon her, most likely before she was ready.

**Leave me some love… Rose will be awake next chapter and boy is it going to be a shocker! **


	3. Chapter 2: I'm a What?

**Chapter 2: I'm a What?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

**I am very excited about this chapter. Just a little side note. I know this story says it will be angsty, but it will also be a bit funny. Just think of all the hilarity that will ensue as Rose tries to adapt to her new life=) I always promise a happy ending don't I? **

RPOV

I woke slowly pulling out of the haze. I took a breath and it felt like the first time as if I were relearning how to do it. I blinked furiously trying to focus on my surroundings. I was in a hospital, more specifically the infirmary at the royal court. I remembered being here once before, only I wasn't awake or even alive. I remembered standing next to this exact bed watching as my family said their goodbyes as they stood around my lifeless corpse.

_**Flashback**_

_**It frustrated me to no end that I couldn't make them see me. I'd been standing here waving my hands in exasperation for I don't know how long and still nothing. Damn the stupid wards. I knew most people couldn't see ghosts even if the wards were down, but maybe Dimitri would know I was here. He had after all believed me when I told him I could see ghosts. He was still holding my hand even though the doctor had called time of death more than an hour ago. **_

_**I smiled remembering the way he'd looked at me just before I'd succumbed to death. The love in his eyes was unmistakable. I couldn't really focus on his words at the time, but I knew he was telling me he loved me. He sat with me for hours after I was gone just holding me, whispering words of love and regret. It broke my heart to see him that way.**_

"_**I should have run to you Roza. I'm so sorry," he whispered. I knew he was talking about after he had been restored. I wish I could tell him that I didn't blame him for any of that and that I should have been more understanding. Tears flowed freely from his beautiful brown eyes and I wanted so much to jump back into my body and console him only I couldn't so I did what I could and stood next to him as he said goodbye. **_

_**My parents were next, my mother whom I thought hadn't cared about me broke her guardian mask and let out her emotions. It was only for a few minutes, but it made her seem more human to me. She regretted us not being close and explained that it was for this very reason she had distanced herself and it was in vain because it didn't make losing me any less difficult. **_

_**Abe muttered some things in Turkish, kicked the closet door in anger a few times and then told me that even though he hadn't been there for most of my life, it meant a great deal to him to have been a part of these last few months and he was happy he got to meet me. He said we were a lot alike despite us having spent so much time apart. He said he was proud of me and couldn't have asked for anything better in a daughter. **_

_**Lissa had been a huge mess and Dimitri had to drag her out of here. I was so worried about how she would handle things with me gone. Adrian had stopped by and mumbled a few things incoherently as he was drunk off his ass. I felt awful for how I'd treated him and wished I'd gotten a chance to apologize. **_

_**End Flashback**_

"You're awake, how are you feeling?" My thoughts were interrupted by a nurse.

"Fine, when can I get out of here?" I asked attempting to vacate the bed. I wanted to see Lissa as soon as possible.

"Woah, just a minute. I know you feel like a million dollars with all those pain meds, but your injuries were quite severe. It's going to take some time for you to recover," she said effectively stopping me from jumping out of the bed.

I sighed in frustration. "Really, I feel fine. Can I at least see my friends or family?" I persuaded. If they could get Janine or Abe in here, then I'm sure I could get to Lissa.

"Remember you can't tell them who you are," Mason's voice echoed in my mind.

"Honey, let's talk about that later," she said abruptly changing the subject. "I'm going to need to take some vitals."

I huffed as she poked and prodded me for what seemed like forever.

"Are you done? I seriously feel fine. I'm over eighteen. You can't keep me here if I don't want to stay," I said reaching for the tubes that were giving me fluids and giving them a good yank.

"You can't do that. You have to stop," she said restraining me. They must have given me a lot of drugs because I could barely struggle against her. I'd never felt so weak. Maybe it was the drugs. I needed to hit the gym badly. I wondered how out of shape my body would be from being technically dead for almost a year. I didn't matter though. I would have my sexy Russian comrade to whip me back into shape.

"What's going on in here?" A man I pegged to be the doctor asked, pulling back the curtains as he joined us.

"I'm sorry Dr. Albertson. She's being combative. Maybe she could use a sedative."

"I heard that," I remarked as the two spoke about me like I wasn't in the room.

"It seems you've had quite a rough night," Dr. Alberts said as he flipped through my charts.

"Yes, so when can I leave?" I asked again feeling like a broken record.

"I can't sign your release forms until I'm sure you're going to be alright. Besides wouldn't you like to rest a bit?"

"No, I want to go home," I stated. Not that I knew where home was right now. I supposed I could go find an opening in guardian housing. If not I'm sure Lissa would let me bunk with her for a while or Dimitri. That's it. I would find wherever Dimitri lived and I could just stay with him until I sorted things out. My heart fluttered at the thought of seeing him.

Again I heard Mason's pesky voice in my mind telling me I wasn't permitted to tell them who I was. It was so annoying to have someone from the other side whispering in my ear all the time.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? They'll take one look at me and know exactly who I am," I shouted.

"How are you supposed to do what?" the nurse asked as she and Dr. Albertson eyed me closely probably checking to see if I'd gone crazy. I wasn't entirely certain I hadn't.

"Nothing, if you're not going to let me go then can I at least get fed? I'm starving," I growled noticing how my stomach had begun to rumble.

"Of course, right away," the nurse said leaving to go get me whatever hideous tray of crap they intended to pass off as food. The doctor took my vitals, made notes in his charts and asked me to move my arms and legs and such. This was ridiculous. I'd assessed the wounds on my abdomen and on my back and they were barely noticeable. I was a guardian for God's sake. This didn't even compare to some of the other wounds I'd received in battle.

"It's remarkable. I know we heal fast, but still. You were bleeding quite a bit yesterday and today it's like you're almost good as new," he said seeming surprised.

"Good genes I guess," I said. Or maybe the powers that be had healed me from whatever had hurt me.

The nurse returned several minutes later with a girl trailing behind her.

"So where's my food?"I asked rather impatiently. I knew I was being rude, but I hated hospitals and right now they were holding me hostage.

"She's right here." As the girl stepped closer, I realized she wasn't just any girl. She was human, a feeder.

I shook my head in annoyance. "Right, I know I'm the one who hit my head and all, but I think you're a little confused. I don't have fangs," I said rolling my eyes at her stupidity.

"Are you sure she's alright?" the nurse asked looking at Dr. Albertson with concern.

"Can you tell me your name?" he asked.

"What of course I can tell you my name," I bit out. I wasn't stupid.

"It's R…," I started and then remembered what Mason had told me.

"This is silly. I know who I am and I have to go to the bathroom," I stated rather boldly crossing my arms in defiance.

"I can get you a pan," the nurse offered.

"No, I can do it myself. I don't need a bedpan."

"Okay then at least let me assist you."

I allowed her to help me to the bathroom and I winced in pain as my feet hit the cold floor. I guess I had been injured worse than I thought, but how? Did I fall from the sky when they sent me back or something? Whatever the case, I needed to pee and I didn't feel like answering their stupid questions. After relieving myself, I splashed some cold water on my face.

"Okay let's check out the damage," I muttered lifting my eyes to the mirror. Being dead had to have wreaked havoc on my hair.

I nearly fell over as I caught sight of my reflection or that of whoever it was staring back at me. It certainly wasn't me. I closed my eyes and opened them again hoping upon hopes that I had been hallucinating.

Upon opening what was indeed my reflection again, I realized what Mason had been talking about. I couldn't tell them who I was, because that wasn't who I am anymore. Those sons of bitches had put me into someone else's body. Upon closer examination of my new features, I realized I no longer had my long beautiful hair. I couldn't believe it. Not only was my hair only falling to about my shoulder, but it was a light shade of brown with carefully placed blonde highlights. What in the hell had they done to me? I had to bite my lip from crying as I pulled at the ends of it. I took a deep breath reminding myself that it was only hair and it would grow back. My eyes were also a deep shade of blue which wasn't awful, but still, I didn't look normal or at least normal for me. I mean would it have killed them to give me a tan?

"Damn, I'm short," I muttered annoyed that my new body seemed to be about three inches shorter than my old one. Five foot four was normal for a human but a little short for a Dhampir. The face they'd given me wasn't all bad. I was actually quite attractive despite my height and my pallor. I could have used something in the way of the curves I used to have, but at least I was proportionate, a little on the thin side, but still good looking. I made a few faces at myself in the mirror and when I smiled my eyes nearly bugged out of my head.

"I have fangs," I cried reeling back in shock. "Why the hell do I have fangs?" No no no no no, this cannot be happening. What the hell were they thinking bringing me back as a moroi? How in the world did they expect me to defend and protect Lissa like this and in a Mia sized body too? Five foot four was unheard of for a moroi.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I cried hoping someone would hear me. "Seriously is this some sort of sick joke?" I cried addressing the powers that be or whoever they were.

"Are you okay in there? You've been in there a while," the nurse called knocking lightly on the door.

"I'm fine," I called back. Although I wasn't fine. I was freaking out. There had to be some mistake. I couldn't be a moroi. I just couldn't. The implications were too great. Not only would I be weak and unable to protect Lissa, but I would have to drink blood, I thought swallowing back the bile that rose in my throat as I thought of committing such a hideous act.

"Are you sure you're okay in there. You have some visitors," the nurse called.

I inhaled sharply taking one last look at my newly acquired body forcing myself to pull myself together before exiting the safely of the bathroom.

"You can do this. Remember, Lissa needs you," I muttered under my breath.

They helped me back over to the bed and I realized that I did indeed have company. My eyes lit up as I looked into the jade green eyes of my best friend.

"Lissa," I cried rushing forward hugging her tightly ignoring the stabbing pains in my side. She was stiff at first, but relaxed as she ordered her guardians to stand down. They were poised and ready to strike as if I posed some sort of threat to her. My heart skipped a beat as I realized Dimitri was among them. He didn't look the same though. He was still tall and menacing as ever, but he looked thinner and his eyes held nothing of the warmth they once did. I pulled back as I realized everyone was staring at me including Lissa.

Duh Rose, she has no idea who you are or why some weird moroi girl is hugging her, I chastised myself. I surveyed the room and took notice that not only was Dimitri here to guard her, but three others as well. I wondered what was up with that. Since when did princesses get four guardians? Come to think of it, why was she here visiting a moroi she didn't know?

"I'm sorry," I apologized letting go of her.

"Miss Lazar, I know you've had quite an eventful night and probably a very confusing morning waking up at the Royal Court. Let me just assure you that you are safe here," Lissa started helping me back into bed.

"Safe from what?" I asked.

She looked over at Dr. Anderson who shrugged. "She's a little confused this morning," he replied.

Did she call me Miss Lazar? Holy crap! Not only was I a moroi, I was a royal moroi? Oh this just keeps getting more ridiculous, I groaned internally. I quickly ran through the short list of Lazar's in my head leaving out the men. Shit, I remembered seeing a photo of this girl before. It was with a family photo of Prince Rupert with his children. That meant that I had been thrown into the body of Soraya Lazar. Well I could have done worse, I supposed and at least I figured out who I was before they had to tell me.

"I'm not confused. I know that I am Soraya Lazar. What I don't know is why I'm here or how I was injured," I said hoping they would explain it.

Lissa looked like she were going to cry as she spoke and I could feel a twinge of her sadness through the bond that hadn't fully reconnected yet. "I know we've only met a few times, but I wanted to be here to tell you in person," she stated.

"Tell me what?" I asked annoyed at being the only one in the room who wasn't in the know.

"You were injured in a large scale strigoi attack that specifically targeted your family," she said.

I nodded. It wasn't uncommon for strigoi to attack a royal family, especially the Lazar's. They were few and far between and Strigoi were intent on eliminating at least one of the twelve families. It was like their common goal or something.

She sat down gently on the edge of my bed and took my hand in hers. It felt so good to have contact with her that I nearly forgot I wasn't myself.

"Soraya, you were the sole survivor of the attack," she stated.

It took a minute for her words to sink in. There had been an attack on the Lazar family and I was the only survivor. I gasped as I realized what that meant.

"Prince Rupert, I mean, my father, he's dead?" I asked trying to sound visibly upset, which I was, but not because I'd just lost my whole family.

She nodded. "I'm so sorry."

"My brothers too?" I asked hoping she would say that one of them hadn't been with the family when it was attacked, if not then I was totally screwed.

Again she nodded, a tear slipping from her eye. I realized that it was a great loss for the royals to lose a Prince and she was quite a bit more emotional than I would have expected. She didn't seem to know me or this Soraya very well. It dawned on me that she had come here to speak with Soraya because she had been in this situation before, when her family had died. Suddenly I felt like I should be the one comforting her.

"Thank you for telling me," I said placing my hand on her shoulder, forcing out a tear or two myself. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Although I wasn't sad at the loss of a family, I was sad that Lissa was sad and I was also sad for me because I wasn't able to take away Lissa's pain from losing her family or from losing me, even though I was right here.

"We have made arrangements for you to stay here at the royal court. An apartment will be ready for you as soon as you've been released. I know that everything has been a big shock and that you'll need time before you can go out to the house. I will have your belongings packed up and sent over as soon as possible and have your family's lawyer meet you here to deal with your finances when you are ready. We will eventually have to have a ceremony to pass on your father's title to you, but not until you are ready. I want this transition to be as smooth as possible in light of the tragic circumstances. Until then anything you need, my royal guard will provide you with."

"Your royal guard?" I asked.

She nodded pointing to Dimitri and the other three guardians. It wasn't until just now that I noticed that Dimitri was not dressed in his typical all black guardian attire. While he wore mostly black, his jacket had the Dragomir crest on the pocket as well as the tassels worn only by the Queen's guardians.

I looked at my friend in astonishment. "Thank you so much your majesty," I said bowing slightly. She had won the election. I knew she would. It brought tears to my eyes that all of my hard work busting out of jail and finding Jill hadn't been in vain.

"Take care of yourself Soraya. I hope to see you back at Lehigh in the fall and if you ever need to talk, I'm a pretty good listener," she added as she prepared to exit. I watched forlornly as she walked out the door, followed by Dimitri. I ached to run to him and throw myself into his arms, but I knew that I couldn't. I had a feeling that this whole back from the dead deal wasn't going to be as good as I'd originally thought.

**I know leaving it here makes you want more right? Anyways tell me what you think. Also what do you think of Danila Koslovsky? I think he's pretty damn hot! 10 Months & 25 Days until Blood Sisters=)**


	4. Chapter 3: Blood Sucking Fiend

**Chapter3: Blood Sucking Fiend**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**Happy early update! Don't get used to it, but enjoy it this time. **

RPOV

"You can't make me," I reiterated for the hundredth time turning my head at the sight.

"No, I can't, but if you don't, then you're going to have to stay here. You do want to get out of the hospital don't you? I know how much you dislike it here. Won't it be nice to wake up in your own bed in your own apartment?" the nurse coaxed treating me like a child, which was exactly the way I was acting.

Everyone here had been walking on eggshells around me once they found out that Lissa would be passing Prince Rupert's title onto me. As if I didn't have enough problems, now I was going to have to be a princess too. This had to be some sort of sick joke. Why couldn't they have just put me into the body of some Dhampir?

"I'm not hungry," I insisted although the blood lust was definitely starting to creep into me. It hadn't been so bad the first day, but this morning when I woke up I was definitely weakened and starving. They brought me human food, but that did little to satiate my hunger pangs.

"You haven't taken blood in over seventy-two hours. You know it isn't healthy and Dr. Alberts will not release you until you've fed."

I sighed. "Fine, can I just have a blood bag though. I don't need a feeder." It was bad enough I was craving blood, but I wasn't about to take it from a live person. That would be insane.

She wrinkled her nose at me. "I suppose if that's what you want," she said returning several minutes later with a bag of O negative.

I looked at it in utter disgust, but my repulsion was heavily outweighed by my desire to get out of here.

"Thank you," I said holding the bag between my hands trying not to wretch at the sight. Maybe if I closed my eyes.

I shut them tightly and brought the straw slowly to my lips. "Here goes nothing," I muttered taking a long sip. To my utter amazement, it didn't taste bad, it was very very good. In fact, before I knew what had happened I'd drained the entire bag dry. I opened my eyes and stumbled back onto the bed in shock at what I had just done. What if I had drained a person dry? I could easily turn into a Strigoi that way. One thing was for sure, I wasn't going to do this again. The empty bag fell to the ground and I shuddered at the thought of blood running down my throat. It took all of my will power not to gag it back up all over the tidy white sterile floor.

"There now, you were hungry after all," the dimwitted nurse said smiling at me as she bent down to retrieve the empty bag. "Don't you feel better?"

I hated to admit it, but I felt a whole lot better than I had just minutes ago. Stupid blood sucking fiends, I thought. I laughed to myself as I realized I sounded like Sydney. I wondered how she was doing. She probably wouldn't come near me now that I was an evil creature of the night as she had phrased it. Just another annoyance to add to my list.

Now that I had blood in me, I could feel the bond back at full strength. The nurse had gone to see about getting me out of her so I decided that while the doctor was filling out my release papers, I would do a little mental check in with Lissa. I had really missed being connected to her.

She was sitting in what looked like a very nice suite, one fit for a Queen I supposed. She was filling out paperwork and Sparky was sitting across from her reading the newspaper in his pajamas. I stifled an internal laugh as I took in his mussed hair, bare chest with just a tiny tuft of hair, and his ninja turtle pajama bottoms. Old Sparky hadn't changed a bit. I tried to get a read on Lissa's emotions. Her mood was calm and content with just a hint of underlying melancholy which I was guessing had to do with the recent loss of Prince Rupert.

"What are your plans for today?" he asked sipping his coffee.

She shrugged. "It's Saturday, no royal council meetings or anything much on the schedule. I was thinking about popping in to see if Soraya is doing alright. The funeral is set for Wednesday and I'm worried about her." I smiled at the thought of her coming to see me even though she wasn't really coming to see me.

"How did she handle the news yesterday?" he asked with concern.

"It was strange. When I got the news that my parents and Andree had been killed, I was completely out of my mind hysterical. I didn't believe them and insisted they were lying. It took me a long time to stop crying. She wasn't like that. She didn't really have too much of a reaction. That is why I'm worried. I'm afraid she's gone into shock or something." I guess I was going to have to do a little better at acting like I was grieving my parents and siblings.

"Everyone handles grief in different ways," he said giving her a reassuring smile. "I like how you're the Queen and you've got all this power and you're still worried about everyone else." He squeezed her hand fondly from across the table.

"I might be the Queen, but I'm still me," she replied. For the most part, she added internally and I felt a pang of sadness as she thought about how much she missed me, the real me.

"I know, but this past year has changed all of us. I'm just glad that you're still the kind compassionate woman I fell in love with." He was right about this past year changing all of us, some of us more than others. The dreamy look on his face told me that if I stayed any longer I'd be a very unwanted party to a threesome.

As it turns out word must have spread through the entire court that I was now next in line for the Lazar title and the seat on the council because people both moroi and dhampir alike were bending over backwards to make sure I was comfortable. Clothing had arrived for me to go home in. I snorted at the dress and cardigan sweater, but put them on anyways because anything was preferable to the hospital gown I'd been stuck in these past two days.

"Queen Vasilissa arranged for your transportation home," the nurse explained as a member of the royal guard showed up in a golf cart to take me to my new home. I didn't recognize him, but it felt good to be around another guardian for a few minutes. It almost made me feel normal.

The suite Lissa had prepared for me was quite ostentatious and far more extravagant than I was used to. It was located in one of the nicest developments that existed at court. When she had said apartment, it was an understatement. This place could be a palace in itself and was far too big for one person. Who needed three bedrooms and two bathrooms? There was a fireplace, a flat screen television, leather furniture, a dining room set complete with a chandelier and a full kitchen.

"The Queen had her decorators choose the furnishings and linens. If they aren't to your liking, you may of course request a decorator of your own," Guardian Simmons informed me.

"No, this is more than adequate," I stated. Lissa had great taste, not that I needed to live someplace this swanky. I'd have been far more comfortable in the shitty guardian housing.

"If you need anything, just call this number," he said handing me a business card.

When he was gone, I checked out the rest of the place and decided I'd better unpack her boxes if I wanted anything other than this dress to wear. I hoped she'd at least have one pair of sweats or some yoga pants.

"Score," I cheered as I located the box that contained what she probably wore as pajamas, but to me it was normal attire.

"Would it kill her to own a pair of jeans?" I muttered rifling through the last of her stuff. She had more than enough dresses, skirts and sweaters to attend every royal function from here to Russia. Going through her things got me thinking a little. If I was in her body, then where was she? I sat staring at a photo of her with her family. My bet was that she didn't really survive the attack. The powers had thrown my soul into her body and then healed it for the most part. I hadn't known her, but it made me sad nonetheless because as a dhampir and a guardian, moroi life was the most precious out there.

I stuffed the photo into a drawer not wanting to be reminded that someone had to die for me to be here. Okay, she probably would have died anyway, but still it was a little bit creepy.

I decided not to dwell on such existential matters right now and take a much needed shower. It felt good to wash the sterile scent of the infirmary off of me. Even though I was accustomed to being in pain, then hot water still did wonders for the stiffness in my back and legs.

After I finished, I stood nude in front of the long mirrored closet doors. My new body was definitely something I'd have to get used to. Like most moroi I was very thin and very pale, but definitely not the typical moroi height. Combine that with an almost flat chest and narrow hips and I could have passed for a child. I reminded myself that being alive was the most important thing. It didn't matter how I looked on the outside, I was still Rose Hathaway on the inside, only no one but me would ever know it.

I could definitely do something about the hair though. If I wanted I could dye it darker and grow it out. That would be something at least. I threw on a fitted black t-shirt and some yoga pants and decided to see if Lissa had thought to have the fridge stocked.

"Figures," I groaned eyeing the shelves full of yogurt, apples, carrot sticks and milk. Stupid moroi eat like birds. I guess I would have to do some grocery shopping if I was going to eat here. On the other hand I could always eat out. I was dying for something chocolaty or greasy. The only problem was that I didn't have any money. Lissa said that the Lazar's lawyers would be coming by to see me when I was feeling up to it, so until then I supposed I was stuck with the health food.

I grabbed a yogurt and a box of cereal from the pantry and sat down on the couch. I had just about finished the box when there was a timid knock on the door. A quick check through the bond told me it was Lissa.I jumped off the couch with lightening speed and opened the door eager to spend time with her.

"Hi," she said. I looked into the hallway and found that it was empty except for her.

"Hi," I responded back awkwardly. What did one say to the Queen when she was at your door?

"I'm alone," she stated as if she sensed I was looking for someone behind her. "My guard is downstairs. I thought it would be more comfortable just the two of us," she said smiling tentatively.

"Come in," I said moving so she could enter. I forced back the happiness being around her brought me, remembering to be more solemn, because to everyone else I was supposed to be a grieving orphan.

"I hope you're settling in okay and that the apartment is to your liking," she said taking a seat on the sofa.

"It's very nice. I don't know how to thank you," I responded graciously acting like a princess in the presence of a queen.

"I know it isn't the nicest place at the court, but with short notice it was the best I could do. If you'd like something larger you can put in a request."

"Larger?" I asked. "This place is huge, especially for just me."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," she said quickly looking down at her hands. I could feel that she thought she'd upset me because my family was gone and I was alone.

"How are you today?" she asked.

"It's been difficult coming to terms with what happened. I don't think I will ever be the same again. I don't think the reality of the situation has fully hit me yet though." I was telling her the truth although the meaning behind my words held a different significance for me than it did for her. I don't think I would ever get used to being in someone else's body or being so close to my friends and Dimitri without being able to tell them who I am. That was going to take a lot of practice on my part and even then, it wouldn't be pleasant.

She only stayed a short while letting me know about the funeral services for my family on Wednesday and that she hoped to announce my title next weekend if I was up for it.

"Oh and I am still working with Guardian Croft to find you a replacement guardian," she said on her way out.

"What? I don't need a guardian," I scoffed.

She looked at me like I was crazy. "I just meant that here behind the wards of the royal court, I am safe," I covered.

"I know, but you will need one for school and now that you have a title it is of the utmost importance that you are protected, especially after what happened," she said sadly.

I nodded closing the door behind her.

Of all the stupid things I'd heard since being returned to Earth, that was about the most ridiculous. Me, Rose Hathaway needing a guardian. It was absolutely absurd. I spent the rest of the evening unpacking and then decided to turn in early. This body was still recovering and was definitely not used to physical activity. I was going to have to do something about that and soon. I hated feeling helpless.

After tossing and turning for what seemed like an eternity, I decided my time would be better spent getting my body into shape. There was no way I was going to let some guardian give their life for me. I had all the training they did. I just needed to find a way to make it work physically. I searched through my newly aquired things until I finally came up with a pair of shoes I deemed adequate for running.

DPOV

It was four pm and the sun was still high in the sky, but I was awake as usual unable to sleep after dreaming of Roza. It was nights that I missed her the most. We hadn't really truly ever spent the entire night together uninterrupted at least, for one reason or another, but I'd like to think that if she had lived, we'd be living together, here in this apartment or somewhere else. We would of course have our charges to take care of and other guardian duties, but at the end of the day, I imagined us cooking dinner together, doing the dishes side by side, watching old Westerns or whatever reality television show she would like and then making love before spending the night in each other's arms. Waking up next to her would have been Heaven on Earth.

Sadly, reality dictated that I would live out the rest of my days however long I had, taking care of Lissa and sleeping alone. The thought of being with anyone else that way was preposterous. Opening my heart to Rose had been a huge risk and although I didn't regret it, I would never do it again.

It was futile to try to fall back asleep, so I did what I normally did at this hour. The gym was blessedly silent before six. As I made why way over, I squinted my eyes trying to make out the figure in the distance as I approached the track. If I wasn't mistaken it was a woman. I knew all of the female guardians here at court. There were only seven. This girl was different though. Something about the way she was running told me she wasn't a dhampir. Her movements were slow and quite uncoordinated.

I watched her, my curiosity peaked as she made her way around the track slowly, but with determination. As she grew nearer I faded into the shadow of the building. I was surprised to recognize her as the new Lazar princess who had only just been released from the infirmary. She was dressed casually with her hair pulled back. She must be troubled or mad with grief because no moroi ever used this track and even if they did seek out a gym, which was still highly unlikely, they wouldn't be out running in the sun at this hour due to their sensitivity to the light.

I watched her complete a second lap and then a third amazed at her endurance. I was pretty sure I'd never witnessed a moroi running of their own accord. She stopped after three laps and flopped down on the grass in utter exhaustion, guzzling her water bottle greedily covering her face with a sweat towel. I shook my head and went inside to beat on the dummies a little. I needed a distraction from my thoughts about Rose.

I was just working up a sweat, when the doors to the gym opened and the Lazar princess dragged herself in. She was sweaty, red in the face from the sun and limping a bit. Surprise flittered across her face as she caught sight of me staring at her.

"Hey," she said giving me a small wave as she set down her water bottle.

"Princess," I nodded in her direction, to which if I wasn't mistaken, she rolled her eyes.

She went straight over to the area that held the free weights and attempted to pick up twenty-five pounds weights. I watched her inquisitively as she seemed surprised that she was unable to move them even a tiny bit, not for lack of trying though. She definitely gave it everything she had. She moved on to the twenties and then to the fifteens and after cursing and kicking the wall, she picked up five pound weights.

"Stupid lazy royal moroi," she muttered as she sat down on the workout bench.

I could tell she was struggling as she proceeded to do bicep curls, tricep extentions and several other exercises. She then picked up ten pound weights and did the chest press. I watched in amazement as she then moved on to lunges, squats and then jump squats. She was utterly exhausted, yet she pushed herself to complete two sets of each and then proceeded to do twenty-five push-ups with mostly correct form.

I continued my workout keenly aware of her every move. It wasn't safe for her to be working out without supervision. She seemed to know her way around the gym, but moroi were not equipped for the sort of things she was attempting and it could be dangerous for her. Lissa was working on finding her a replacement guardian and I would feel a lot better if she'd bring him to the gym with her. For now though since I was the only one here, I supposed it was my job to ensure that she didn't hurt herself. I kept an eye on her as she continued what could only be described as torture.

**Next up we will here from Rose again. A lot of people want to know if she is going to turn into herself again or if people are going to figure out who she is.. My answer to that is…. You'll just have to wait and see! Review if you want more Dimtri and Rose interaction.**


	5. Chapter 4: Queen's Orders

**Chapter 4: Queen's Orders**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**Yay for Early Updates. I'm on Spring Break! This chapter is kind of funny=)**

RPOV

"Mother fucking sonofabitch!" I growled as I realized I was definitely not going to go very far in this new body of mine. It had taken all of my willpower to run three measly laps around the track. Three laps and I was so exhausted I couldn't move or breathe! Every inch of my body was drenched in sweat and felt like a truck had run over it. Three laps! Seriously, that wasn't even a mile and the sun, my God the sun was bright. Had it always been that bad?

Of course not you idiot, I chastised myself. The sun, which I'd always been delighted to bask in, was now poisoning me. It was slowing me down to the point of a snail. Even just being outside for a few minutes now in the daylight caused me to tire easily. No wonder these silly moroi needed us guardians. They may never get sick, but damn they were fragile, I thought as I attempted to lift a twenty-five pound weight, which was light for me, or the dhampir me, but was impossibly heavy for the weak scrawny moroi me.

I could feel Dimitri's eyes burning into me as I went through what should have been a ridiculously easy workout with five and ten pound weights. It proved to be torture for my new and definitely not improved physique. I wasn't surprised to find him in the gym at this hour. Our training sessions at the Academy had been at the ungodly hour of six pm and I'd always suspected that he'd risen at least an hour early to get in his own workout, although four pm was a little early even for him. I was betting that he hadn't been sleeping well. A few sideways glances at him confirmed my suspicions. One good thing about my new state of being, was my intensified sight, smell and hearing. I could clearly see the dark circles under his eyes as well as the worry lines that had formed on his handsome face. Damn he was hot when he was lifting weights. All that sweat pouring down his muscular chest. It made me want to rip off his clothes and have my way with him right here.

I had to drag my eyes away from his godlike physique as not to have him catch me blatantly ogling him. I was dying to rush over and jump into his arms telling him everything. A part of me thought that the risk of bursting into flames or whatever, would almost be worth it to spend one more night with him, but the rational side of me realized I needed to protect Lissa and I couldn't do that if I was dead again. Staying away from Dimitri was going to be difficult, but manageable if I didn't have to see him very often, which if I timed my gym workouts correctly would be never, unless I was with Lissa. At least with her around it would be bearable because she would be able to distract me from his godlike body.

After what I can only describe as the most grueling workout of my life, yes including my first day back at the Academy where Dimitri and Mason kicked my ass all day, I decided to go through the rest or Soraya's things in search of a credit card or a wad of cash. I needed something to eat that wasn't rabbit food and these shoes were nearly wrecked after one workout. They weren't entirely suited for the type of action I was used to, not that I'd be picking a fight anytime soon. I would have to build up my endurance in both running and strength training before I'd be ready for a real fight. I wondered if whatever guardian was assigned to me would fight with me eventually. I'm pretty sure now that I was a princess, he or she would have to do whatever I said. I wasn't too keen on asserting my newfound power, but if need be, I would use it to my advantage.

I still wasn't keen on the idea of having one, but with how weak I was at the moment, I hated to admit that it might come in handy. There's no way I would be able to fight off a strigoi right now. Hell I'm pretty sure even Lissa could kick my ass right now.

I did end up locating her most recent purse or should I say haut couture status prop and it in fact contained a number of credit cards and three hundred dollars in cash, way more than I would need for some food and a new pair of running shoes.

DPOV

"You requested to see me," I said entering the throne room. It was seven pm on Wednesday and in a few hours we would be preparing for the Lazar funeral services.

Lissa nodded looking up from her desk. "I have a favor to ask."

"Of course, whatever you need."

"I've been searching for a guardian for Soroya Lazar."

"I would be more than happy to aid you in your search. I believe the quicker someone is assigned, the better," I responded.

"Why is that?" she asked. I usually did not enjoy meddling in other people's affairs, especially royals, however something about the new princess made me feel like it was my job to protect her at least from herself.

"I do not believe she is handling the death of her family in the typical fashion." I wasn't an expert on grief, but I'd lived through enough to know when someone had gone a little mad. I myself walked that line every day.  
"How so?" she queried.

"Most people would grieve in private or be emotional or even throw fits or temper tantrums," I told her. After Rose, I myself had ripped apart my entire apartment in guardian housing and beat the hell out of every punching bag in the gym. Lissa had been kind enough to not have me thrown in jail for destruction of property.

"And she isn't doing that," she said, nodding her head in understanding. I took it that her visit with the new princess the other day had confirmed my observations.

I shook my head. "No, she seems rather calm. That in itself isn't all that strange. She could just be in denial, but she's been seen doing some odd things these past few days."

"Odd how?" she asked tilting her head to the side.

"Odd for a moroi princess." I know it was comical that I of all people was calling someone odd. Me, the former strigoi standing in the presence of the 19 year old moroi queen speaking to her as if she were a friend instead of my superior. That in itself was bizarre. Add that to the fact that she is the one who staked me back to life and I had no place calling someone else out on their odd behavior, but here I was doing just that and I had no idea why.

"Like what?"

"On Sunday morning I saw her at the gym. She was running on the track."

"That doesn't seem that odd," she mused. "I know moroi aren't as concerned with physical fitness as guardians, but some like to grab a quick workout," she said defending her kind.

"It was four pm."

Her eyes widened. "Oh my, that is odd. Was there anything else?"

"She was attempting to lift a large amount of weight."

"She didn't hurt herself did she?" she gasped.

"No, her form was decent, but she seemed agitated."

"That makes sense," she said pursing her lips.

I raised my eyebrow at her. Nothing about this made sense to me including my sudden interest in the well being of a moroi I'd never met. Other guardian's had reported seeing her the past two days doing nearly the same thing though and it made me apprehensive.

"She suffered a loss. She felt helpless. Her guardians were killed along with her family. In her mind, she should have perished with them. It was only by a stroke of luck that she managed to live through it. She probably has a lot of survivor's guilt, wondering what she could have done differently to ensure her family's survival. I know I did. She doesn't want to feel like that again. I went through the same thing, only I had Rose to protect me," she stopped and blinked a few times, holding back her emotions, the same way I did every time Roza crossed my mind.

"She doesn't have anyone. She thinks that maybe if she learns to defend herself then maybe she won't be as helpless the next time. It makes her feel empowered," she continued.

I could understand that. It had to be difficult for her having lived when everyone else hadn't. She was probably running an endless list of what ifs in her head just the way I had been doing for the past year. I didn't blame her in the least. Losing the ones you loved to a violent unexpected death was not something one overcame easily and often it changed your life forever. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't ask myself why her and not me? If only I had realized what was happening sooner. If only I had jumped in front of her, she would still be here.

"Maybe, but it is also dangerous. I don't like the idea of her working out in there alone. She was pushing herself far beyond her capabilities," I argued.

"That's why she needs a guardian," she said.

"I agree and the sooner the better."

"That's why I asked you here. I have the perfect person in mind."

"Who?" I asked, thinking that maybe she'd suggest one of the newly promised guardian's from St. Vladimir's. Guardian Koslovsky would be my first choice. He was top of his class and I'd seen him as a sixteen year old novice when he fought in the attack on the school. He would be good for her. He would be able to assimilate into Lehigh easily as a student as well.

"While there many qualified candidates, I feel that in addition to a top notch guardian, she's going to need a lot of support emotionally from someone who's recently gone through a tragic loss. Someone who understands what she is going through."

"That makes sense," I suppose. I guess Koslovsky was out.

"Maybe a female guardian would be better," I suggested.

"Well, there aren't that many of those and I was thinking that she would need someone with more experience. She is one of the only remaining Lazar's and now holds the title. I wouldn't trust just anyone with that job."

"I suppose that is true," I agreed.

"So you'll do it?" she asked, smiling at me.

"Do what?"

"Be her guardian of course. Why else would I have brought you here? You said yourself that you are concerned. That makes you perfect for the job."

My eyes widened as I realized what she was asking me.

"You want me to be her guardian?"I asked feeling like I had the day I'd accidentally volunteered to mentor Rose in Kirova's office.

"Well sure, you're compassionate, understanding and know what she is going through. I think it would benefit both of you. I know it's a lot to ask and that it's technically a step down from being a part of my royal guard, but I need someone I can trust. Besides, she's in a fragile state right now, you said it yourself. She needs someone who won't treat her like a stranger."

"You want me to befriend her?" I asked. This was so not good. I was not the right person for this job. I was a loner. I didn't need friends. I needed Rose.

"I'm not so sure that's the best idea," I started.

"You have to do something. You worry me," she said in a tone that said she was no longer speaking as the queen.  
"Rose wouldn't want to see you like this. She'd want you to live your life."

"What life?" I muttered. Without her there wasn't anything for me.

"I'm serious. You need to do something besides hold up in your apartment.

"I work," I countered. Protecting her was my way of honoring Rose's memory. "I protect you. That is what Rose would have wanted."

"I know, but I have an entire royal guard to protect me. I will be just fine. You are the best guardian I know. That is why I know you can handle this assignment. I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you were right for it. I mean, if you could handle Rose back at the Academy, then you can certainly handle Soraya. She's a lot more docile," she laughed.

"I suppose I could try," I relented. I smiled a little as I remembered what a handful Rose had been when I'd first met her.

"Besides, I am trying to make life better for guardians and dhampirs and you are not helping me any by keeping yourself cloistered," she said with her hands on her hips.

She wasn't wrong. I had always been reclusive, but as of late, I'd been isolating myself more and more.

I sighed. "You really think that I can help her?" I asked resigned to the fact that she was the queen and if this is what she wanted, then I would respect her wishes, however ridiculous I found the situation to be.

"I know you can. She needs someone and so do you." I was about to argue that I didn't need anyone, but it was futile. Once Lissa made up her mind about something, there was no changing her mind. She was stubborn as a mule. She and Rose were more alike than they knew.

"I'll introduce you after the funeral today. She's going to need someone to be there for her after the services."

This was so not going to turn out well, I thought as I left the throne room. I was a mess myself. There was no way I was going to be of any help to her other than as a body guard. I guess for Lissa's sake I would give it my best shot. I owed it to her and to Rose to make the best of this life while I was here even if I didn't want to be. Maybe Lissa was right. Maybe I did have something to offer in the way of solace. After all, I had lost the two most important people in my life and I hadn't seen my family in years. What did I really have to lose by befriending a grieving lonely moroi? My sanity perhaps, but that was already half gone to begin with.

**Uh oh, Dimitri and Rose together again and just when she is trying to stay away from him. We all know that wouldn't have worked anyways. I wonder what he'll think of her fighting style? Next up the funeral and a few surprises for the new "Soraya" All reviews come with a hot Russian guardian=)**


	6. Chapter 5: Andrew Badica

**Chapter 5: Andrew Badica**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**Wow your reviews are blowing me away. I couldn't stop writing. Happy early update yet again! Also, yes I was definitely making a reference to Danila Kozlovsky in my last chapter. I just love me a good Russian. **

RPOV

It was fitting that it would rain the day of the funeral. I woke early to the sounds of the rain beating down on the roof. Today was going to be tough. People would be scrutinizing me in every way possible. They would want to get a good look at the new princess and see how she handles her grief. It was going to take a lot of acting to look the part of a daughter who had lost her parents and her siblings not one week ago. In a way I had suffered losses of my own. I had lost my parents, my friends and the man I loved, just not in the same way. They were all still alive and walking around, but I wasn't allowed to be with them. I wondered if that wasn't worse, to be so close to them, yet so far away. I decided I'd better get up or I was going to be late.

My feet hit the floor and I nearly fell over. I couldn't deny the fact that I was weak. All the working out I was doing was certainly a contributing factor, but the main one was that as much as I didn't want it, I needed blood. I hadn't fed since Saturday morning at the infirmary and I was now suffering the consequences. I was weak and lightheaded and my stomach rumbled constantly. It didn't matter how much human food I ate, it never diminished. I knew it was dangerous and I'd have to find a way to satiate it, but I was running late as usual. I would find a blood bag after the services.

I donned a black dress that fell to my knees and paired it with nude pumps and a dark purple cardigan with a skinny belt. I pulled my hair back into a neat bun at the nape of my neck allowing some of the layers to frame my face. She had flawless skin, so I only needed some mascara, lip gloss and a little blush to add color to my albino skin. Just as I was getting ready to leave, there was a knock at the door.

"I'm coming," I yelled, grabbing my umbrella and a small black wristlet that held my keys.

"Sorry I'm late," I said opening the door a little out of breath. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head as I took in the sight of my Russian Comrade standing before me handsome as ever in his guardian attire.

"It's no problem Princess. I am here at the request of Queen Vasilissa to escort you to the services." He spoke formally treating me the same way he had treated Lissa back at the Academy.

I stood there gaping at him. Why the hell would she send him? This was not good. I was trying to stay away from him. I'd even been going to the gym around midnight to avoid seeing him in the mornings.

"Are you alright?" he asked snapping me back to reality.

I nodded. "I'm fine," I said shutting the door behind me. He walked two paces behind me as we exited my building.

"Allow me to hold that for you," he said reaching for my umbrella. I was too stunned at him being here to object as he took it from my hands and held it above me as I walked.

As we entered the chapel, all eyes were of course on me. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I tripped over the doorframe. Stupid clumsy moroi body, I groaned internally. I would have fallen on my face, but before that could happen, strong arms wrapped around me. My body danced with excitement at his touch. It was brief and he let go as soon as I was steady, but if only just for those few precious moments, I had been in his arms. My shoulders sank as he escorted me to my seat in the front row with the few remaining Lazars and then moved to the back to assume his guardian position. Of course he wouldn't be sitting with me. He was a guardian, I was a moroi. This was the way it was supposed to be.

I scanned the room for familiar faces. My eyes rested on Lord Szelsky and I immediately looked to the back of the church searching for her. It took me a minute, but there she was standing in the back looking stoic as ever in her guardian attire. Even though we hadn't been close, seeing her here and not being able to tell her who I was, upset me more than I thought. I continued to peruse the room until I spotted him. He sat in the back of the church looking flashy as ever with a bright green scarf to accompany his black suit. I smiled just for a moment wishing I had had more time to get to know my mysterious mobster father.

I turned back to face the front as the royal guard entered silently announcing Lissa's presence. She walked in accompanied by Christian and followed by Jill, Eddie, Adrian and Angeline. Wait Angeline? I questioned. What was she doing here? Angeline was one of the keepers. They were the odd grouping of humans moroi and dhamphirs who co-existed in some sort of wacky commune in the middle of nowhere. We'd stayed with them briefly while I was on the run. I wondered what she was doing here and with Jill and Eddie. I'd have to make it a point to figure that one out later. Lissa looked pristine as ever in her knee length black dress and pearls. Her hair was swept up into a French twist. Jill sat beside her looking just as subdued in nearly the same outfit as her sister. I was glad things had worked out for them. Lissa needed someone and I hoped they were getting along. Adrian sat next to Jill. He didn't seem to be inebriated yet. A pang of guilt shot through me as he looked over and our eyes met. I never had the chance to make things right between us and even now I never would. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing me closely before turning and whispering something in Jill's ear. Oh Lord don't tell me the two of them are hooking up. She was far too young for him.

I was lost in thought, when a hand on my shoulder startled me. "Thank God you are alright. How are you feeling?" It was a young man who spoke. He had slid into the pew next to me without me knowing it. Damn my guardian skills were rusty. He looked at me with concern, offering me a handkerchief.

"It's been hard, but I'm trying to work through things," I said turning my attention to where the paul bearers were now bringing in the coffins, all four of them. I gulped realizing I should be having some sort of emotional reaction to which I faked a small sob covering my face with a handkerchief that the guy sitting next to me offered. I peered at him from the corner of my eye. He was moroi, quite handsome, about my age, but not a Lazar. With his features I pegged him to be a Drozdov or a Badica. He seemed to know me, but I had no idea who he was. In fact, he was sitting quite close to me and I flinched as he put his hand on my knee and squeezed.

"Don't be nervous. You're not alone. I'm here for you," he whispered. I inhaled sharply at his comment.

He gave me a small smile and then proceeded to put his arm around my shoulder. I was about to throw his arm off and punch him in the groin for touching me, when I realized I couldn't. People would expect me to know him and to be as comfortable with him as he was with me, whoever he was. I squelched down the urge to punch him and instead rested my head in the crook of his neck allowing him to comfort me. If this wasn't acting I didn't know what was. I had to hand it to him. In addition to being handsome, he smelled really good. By the end of the heartfelt speeches and kind words from the royal council members that had known Prince Rupert, my tears were no longer fake. He was a good man and so was the rest of his family and I felt just terrible about what had happened to them. My tears combined with my weakened state of hunger made my reaction seem believable. There was a short break between the church and the luncheon that would follow.

I allowed the moroi guy to support my weight as we walked out of the chapel to convene in the courtyard with the others. I would have rather it been Dimitri I was holding on to, but that was a bad idea for numerous reasons. As soon as we were outside, he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"You do not know what these past few days have been like for me. My parents heard about the attack on the news and they said there were no survivors. Raya, I thought you were gone too," he said, tears falling from his eyes as he continued to embrace me tightly. "I tried calling you so many times, but all I ever got was your voicemail," he said choking up again.

"I'm sorry," I said, not knowing what else to say to a guy I didn't know who was currently holding onto me for dear life.

"You are everything to me, you know that right?" he said pulling back to look me in the eye before pressing his lips up against mine firmly.

Oh no, I thought as realization dawned on me. She had a boyfriend. Correction, I have a boyfriend. My heart began to race at the thought of what I was going to do with him. I didn't even know his name. It wouldn't take him long to figure out that there was something not right about me. I responded to his kiss robotically hoping he would think my lack of response was due to my grief. It felt really wrong kissing someone other than Dimitri and I resisted the urge to wipe my mouth on my sleeve in disgust.

"I am never letting you out of my sight again," he whispered peppering kisses all over my face. I cringed trying not to seem as put off by his romantic gestures as I actually was.

"Andrew, it's good to see you," Lissa said as she and Christian wandered over interrupting the embarrassing public display of affection.

"Soraya, how are you?" she asked.

"As well as can be expected. The service was beautiful," I said dabbing my eyes. "Thank you."

"I'm so glad you are here Andrew. I'm sorry it took so long for news to reach you. We didn't think it was safe to announce survivors right away on the news or in the papers," Lissa apologized. She knew him. She had used his first name.

Andrew, I thought, mulling his name and his face over and over in my head. "Lord Andrew Badica," I murmured out loud only to find the three of them staring at me.

"Sorry, I'm just a little off today," I apologized.

"No one expects you to be perfect, not today," Lissa said reaching out and squeezing my hand in support. I opened up the bond and felt how much today had brought up memories of her parents and their funeral. It had been here in the same chapel. She was sad about her loss, but her focus was on me and how I would be handling my grief. That was my best friend for you, always thinking of others. I could feel that she was thinking about my death as well. Those memories and wounds were a lot fresher and still exposed. I wondered briefly if they'd had any sort of service for me. I highly doubted it. They may have done that underground mourning party thing that Adrian had snuck me into that one time. That would have been a nice gesture.

"If you ever need to talk, I know what you're going through," Christian said softly as we began to make our way over to the palace where the reception would be held. Andrew of course kept his arm around my waist the entire time as he chatted with Lissa.

"Thanks," I replied knowing that even though I thought I had it bad, Christian had to have gone through a whole lot worse. First, his parents willingly turned strigoi completely ostracizing him and then his Aunt kills the Queen and then me. I mean seriously there had to be a limit to the amount of crap one person could take before shutting down completely. Yet here he was offering me support. As we walked, I wondered what had happened to Tasha. Did they lock her up in Tarasov or had Lissa given her the death penalty for what she had done?

At the reception, Andrew and I were seated at the same table as Lissa and Christian which meant I was going to have to be on my best behavior because I had to worry about slipping up in front of Adrian and Jill as well.

My heart began to race as Adrian took the seat right next to Andrew.

"Hey man, how's it going?" he asked. "If I remember correctly this is your poison." He placed a cocktail on the table in front of Andrew. They seemed to know each other which didn't surprise me. Most royals knew each other. They often called each other sister or brother even though they weren't technically related.

"Thanks man, I needed that," he said tossing it back in one quick gulp. This past week was a complete nightmare. I couldn't get a hold of Raya and I was out of my mind with worry. I thought she was…," he trailed off unable to hold in his emotions.

"That girl of yours is a tough cookie," Adrian replied giving me a once over as he sipped on his drink. His eyes lingered on me a little too long and I couldn't figure out why. Could he see me in here? I was pretty sure he couldn't. Maybe he was just being his typical self and ogling a pretty girl. I hoped it was the latter.

The servers arrived with a basket of bread and I spaced out as it was passed around the table. What if Adrian could see who I was? Would it be the same thing as me telling him? Would I still be punished and be sent back to wherever I had been when I was dead? A million questions swirled in my mind and I was startled yet again as the vacant seat next to me was taken by none other than Abe Mazur, my father.

"Soraya, it's good to see you my dear, not under these circumstances of course," he said pulling me in for a hug. I was shocked to say the least, but wasted no time in hugging him back. It was the first time my father had hugged me.

"You know if you need anything you can always call on old uncle Abe," he said releasing me.

I raised my eyebrow. Uncle Abe?

"You know your father was one of my closest friends. He was a good man and he will be missed," he stated. I had no idea Abe was friends with royals, but he was always a surprise.

"Thanks," I said hugging him again, just because I could.

"Are you going to eat that?" I asked Andrew. He had left a perfectly good half a steak on his plate and I was starving as usual.

"Uh, no," he said eying me with curiosity as I polished off his leftovers after having demolished my own plate. I was starving and I knew I couldn't last much longer without taking blood.

"So there is someone I want to introduce you to formally," Lissa said pulling me aside after the meal was finished. Andrew and Adrian had struck up a conversation and I was happy to be alone with my friend.

"I know you are still feeling the loss of your last guardian as well as your family, but it isn't safe to leave you unprotected, especially now with the upcoming title ceremony. I wanted to let you know that I thought long and hard about who to assign as your permanent guardian and decided that one of my royal guardians would be appropriate. He has a lot of experience, is an excellent fighter and I think the two of you have quite a bit in common."

I didn't like the sound of where she was headed. I prayed I was wrong. Please let me be wrong, I begged silently crossing my fingers.

"Soraya, this is Guardian Dimitri Belikov. You met him this morning," she said. Dimitri appeared beside her as if from thin air.

"No, no no, this can't be happening," I cried slapping my forehead. Of all the guardians out there, why him? Why is she trying to torture me like this?

"Is there a problem?" Lissa asked taken back at my comment.

"Oh shit did I say that out loud?" I asked covering my mouth.

She nodded giving me a strange look thankfully ignoring my curse words.

"Do you have a problem with Guardian Belikov? He is one of the best," she said not understanding my beef with someone I'd supposedly only met once.

"I can't be around him. There isn't anyone else?" I practically shrieked. I was so not handling this well and throwing a fit in public in front of the queen no less was not very princess like.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry, I didn't think. It isn't because he used to be…," she trailed off looking nervously between Dimitri and me. A pained expression crossed his face, only for a split second. One look at his face told me he thought I didn't want him as my guardian because he had been strigoi. He thought I was afraid of him and my strange reaction this morning hadn't helped. Shit, there was no way around this. If I refused him, then he would feel guilty, but if I allowed him to be my guardian, I was in a whole lot of trouble. There was no way I could spend that much time around him and not be with him. It would be torture of the worst kind.

"I can assure you that he was turned by force and is completely trustworthy," she said. "You don't have anything to be afraid of."

"No, it's not that," I said quickly. "I don't care about that. I know he is a wonderful guardian and I will be lucky to have him it's just that I was just so used to my old guardian and this is all too much for me. Things are changing too quickly," I cried becoming quite hysterical. "I just want things to be the way they were," I sobbed. Wow this body had no control over its emotions. I never cried, but damn, right now I just needed to let it out. I wanted things to be like they were before I died. Granted that wasn't going to happen, so I would just have to suck it up. I wiped my eyes trying to pull myself together.

"Oh sweetie, I know you do and that things have been just awful for you. That is why I chose him. He understands what you're going through," she said wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause a scene," I said sniffling.

"Hey, it's understandable after what you've been through. No one blames you. You're so strong Raya. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you're going to make it through this." It was Andrew who was giving me words of comfort now. He had come up behind me and put his arms around my waist. This guy was going to be hard to shake.

I looked up at Dimitri to make sure he understood that I wasn't afraid of him, but he had his guardian mask on. Even though his expression betrayed no emotion, I knew he was torn up inside. I really hoped that by now he would have forgiven himself for his strigoi days. They hadn't been his fault and I hated that he still thought about it. I knew he always would and I wanted to be there for him so he could make peace with it.

"Well I know you two will want to catch up," Lissa said gesturing to me and Andrew. "I'll call you later in the week to let you know about the passing of the title ceremony. Oh and don't forget to get together with Guardian Belikov so you can work out a schedule, you know for days you plan to leave the wards and such."

"Right, thanks," I said annoyed that she was leaving me at the mercy of Andrew.

"So where are you staying?" I asked hoping to walk him back there so I could be alone for a while.

"Uh, with you silly," he said ruffling my hair.

"With me?" I stammered.

"I hate being away from you. There's no sense in us spending any more time away from each other than we have to, besides I haven't been able to sleep without you in my arms," he said placing his hand on my cheek as he lowered his lips to mine. I jerked my head sideways so his lips ended up on my cheek. If he noticed by reluctance, he didn't let on.

"Come on babe, take me home with you," he said wiggling his eyebrows as he grabbed my hand. Why did I always end up in these situations? One thing was for sure. This was going to be a very long night.

**Wow! What is she going to do with good old Andrew? Sounds like she now has two guys to stay away from! What's a girl to do? What did you think of her reaction to Dimitri being her guardian? Also, how much longer can she go without feeding? **


	7. Chapter 6: Lesser of Two Evils

**Chapter 6: Lesser of Two Evils **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**Here you go, next chapter served up with a little Russian dressing=) **

**RPOV**

"This is it," I said opening the door to my apartment and standing awkwardly in the doorway. Like most royals, he walked in like he owned the place and began to look around.

"It's decent, for now. You should request and upgrade soon so you can move into something more suitable before school starts," he said after apraising the rest of the place.

"Uh, I like this place. If anything it's too big," I said rolling my eyes at his snotty attitude.

"Not for long," he said wrapping his arms around my waist kissing my neck. I didn't even want to know what he meant by that.

The rest of the evening consisted of him trying to play house with me and me telling him how tired I was. He finally gave up and planted himself in front of the flat screen. I had to figure out a way to get him to leave. I felt kind of sorry for the guy. He was so relieved that his girlfriend hadn't been killed. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that he was going to lose her anyways. There was no way I was going as far as to pick up where she left off with some random royal moroi I didn't know. Under the guise of taking a bath, I had locked myself up in the master bedroom and opened a box labeled personal items. I needed to figure out just how attached my current body was to the one sitting outside watching sports on the television.

"Well that answers that question," I moaned as I pulled out a little round case of birth control pills. These two were definitely serious. I removed photo album after photo album of the two of them as children playing together at St. Amberwood and more of them at different balls, parties and birthdays over the years. Yep they'd been childhood friends and then high school sweethearts. I was so going to break his heart into a million pieces.

"Why do I always get stuck cleaning up the mess?" I growled directing my question to the powers that be. Of course there was no answer. Smug bastards were probably having a field day up there wondering how I was going to get out of this situation.

My stomach rumbled loudly and I tried to ignore the intense hunger pangs and dizzy spell as I stood up. I looked at the clock. It was after nine o'clock. It was too late to go to the feeders. The clinic would be open though. I decided to head over there. It would give me an excuse to get away from Andrew and fulfill my need for blood. I changed out of my black dress into a tank top, hoodie and track pants. I grabbed my new gym shoes I'd purchased yesterday and opened the door.

"Where are you going?" Andrew asked having turned off the television. He was now in the kitchen fumbling around in the pantry. His tie had been discarded and his shirt was open revealing a very nicely toned chest.

"Uh, I need to stop by the clinic for a prescription refill."

"At this hour?" he asked skeptically.

I nodded. "I was tied up with the funeral and things these past few days and I forgot."

"Give me a minute and I'll go with you," he suggested closing the door to the pantry.

"No!" I practically shouted.

"I mean, you've had a long day. You should take a hot shower and rest a bit. I'll be back soon," I assured him.

"Okay, but hurry. I'll pick out a movie for us to watch before bed."

"Good, you do that," I said scurrying out the door, slamming it shut behind me.

It was quite a hike over to the infirmary, but it was a nice night and I sure could use the exercise. This body was useless.

"What do you mean you can't give me a blood bag?" I asked as the nurse refused me.

"Honey, those are for when patients in the hospital need transfusions or are unconscious. We have a limited supply. Why didn't you just go to the feeders?" she asked.

"I uh, I was busy. You know my parent's and brother's funeral and all," I said trying my best to sound broken up. I was hoping to play on her sympathy.

"Dear, I'm so sorry. I understand. I can't give you a bag, but I can't arrange for them to send someone over to your apartment. Give me a few minutes and I will arrange it.

"No, don't. It's fine. I'll just go tomorrow morning. It isn't a big deal," I said.

"Are you sure? You look weak. I think it would be better if I sent one tonight," she insisted inching towards me.

"Yeah, sure you're probably right. Send one over," I said backing away from her as quickly as I could before sprinting out of there.

"Shit, this is so not good," I cried berating myself for not thinking before I came here. I was trying not to set off red flags, but this was definitely not the way to do it.I had a decision to make. I could either go back to my apartment and face the music and Andrew or I could wait until tomorrow and go to the gym instead.

I of course took the chicken's way out and headed over to the gym. It was after ten and fairly empty. There were a few guardians still getting in a late night workout most likely after having finished their shift. I made my way over to the free weights and began my daily routine.

"What are you looking at? I might be a moroi, but I'm not an invalid," I snapped as I'd drawn the attention of all six guardians who were in the gym including Eddie. They all turned away and began minding their business.

"That's right, listen to the spoiled princess," I muttered. It was brutal, but I finally I finished my workout and decided to do a few laps around the track. I knew I shouldn't push myself like this, but I couldn't help it. I hated being weak. It just wasn't who I was. I was already woozy and could barely stand, but I had to figure a way through it. No guardian worth her promise mark would give up because she was hungry. That wouldn't get me anywhere in protecting Lissa and I needed to be strong. I made it about two laps around the track before I hit the wall. I became dizzy, my vision was blurred and I fell to my knees scraping them across the pavement.

DPOV

My phone startled me out of the first real sleep I'd had in a long while.

"Belikov," I answered trying not to sound like I'd just been woken.

"Hey it's Eddie."

"What's wrong? Is it Jill? Is Lissa okay?" I asked practically springing out of bed.

"No no, they're fine. You just told the guardian at the gym to let you know if your charge came in."

"She's there now?" I asked looking at the clock. It was after eleven.

"She came in a little while ago and man is she going to town on those free weights. She looks like she's going to fall over," he laughed.

"Thanks, I'll be there in a few," I said. I shimmied into a pair of basketball shorts and a cutoff shirt, put on my shoes and headed out the door. I was all for working out, but I much preferred to do it in the early morning.

I arrived at the gym, but despite a few fellow guardians, it was empty.

"If you're looking for your crazy new charge, she's out running the track," Eddie said pointing to the door I had just entered through. He was on duty and I was thankful for the call.

I turned around and headed outside. Sure enough, there she was trudging along with that same fierce determination I'd seen on her the first time. She looked exhausted and I couldn't understand why she was fighting so hard. I was here to protect her. She didn't need to do this. Most royals wouldn't think of lifting a finger to make themselves more useful let alone go to the gym. I wanted to understand her. I knew that having your loved ones taken away pushed you to do crazy things, but this was ridiculous. She was pushing herself too hard, too soon.

I decided not to make my presence known just yet so I blended into the shadow of the building. If I showed myself, it might make her feel like I was stalking her. She already wasn't very fond of me and after her reaction earlier, I knew she's heard about my former strigoi state. I winced at the memory of her response. I'd seen the fear in her eyes when she looked at me. It was strange. No matter how much time passed and how many strange looks I'd gotten from people, it still stung.

I turned my attention back to the track, but I didn't see her. I glanced around wondering where she went, but failed to locate her. I was about to go back into the gym when I caught sight of her lying on the ground. I rushed across the grass as fast as I could.

"Princess," I said kneeling beside her. She was on her hands and knees breathing heavily.

"Get away from me," she panted.

"I'm here to help you," I said pushing past her initial reaction.

"I don't need help. I'm fine," she insisted trying to pull herself into a sitting positon and failing.

"You aren't fine," I said recognizing the sallow look of her skin, the bags under her eyes and the desperate look she had. She needed a feeder.

"When is the last time you fed?" I asked.

"What? That is none of your business," she snapped. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Just let me help you up," I said offering her my hand to which she glared at and refused. She was a stubborn one, this girl. In a way she reminded me of Rose.

She managed to get to her feet albeit swaying slightly. "See, I told you I could do it myself. I'm fine."

"I can see that," I said sarcastically as my hands shot out quickly to catch her as she went down like a ton of bricks, a small ton of bricks, but dead weight nonetheless.

She moaned and groaned as I carried her and I could have sworn for a minute she was sniffing my cologne, but I must have imagined it. I was worried about her. This was my first day on the job and I was already making a trip to the infirmary.

"Guardian Belikov, what's happened to the princess?" the nurse gasped as I lay her down on a gurney.

"My guess is exhaustion and hunger," I said. "I found her at the gym."

She shook her head and clucked her tongue. "Silly girl was in here not an hour ago asking for blood. I sent a feeder over to her apartment."

The doctor took her vitals which were thankfully normal. I watched as they hooked her up to intravenous fluids and a bag of blood. The color slowly returned to her cheeks and after a few hours she began to stir.

She looked over at me. "Still reading those crappy westerns I see," she muttered. I closed my book rising to my feet ignoring her odd comment.

"You shouldn't be overexerting yourself at the gym. It's been a long day. You should rest."

She sighed. "Why are you still here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well I'm fine. You can go home now."

"I think not. Queen Vasilissa gave me the task of watching over you and that is what I am going to do."

"I'm in the infirmary. How much trouble could I possibly get into?"  
I raised my eyebrow at her. Thus far, she seemed to be nothing but trouble.

RPOV

"Crap, I was so not getting out of this one. I had slipped up not once but twice. Not only had I snuggled up to him while he was carrying me breathing in the woodsy scent of his aftershave, but I made a comment about his western novels. I hoped the powers that be hadn't heard or they would let it slide and not smite me down seeing is that I was dying of hunger.

"Are you seriously going to sit here and stare at me all night?" I demanded. They wanted to keep me overnight for observation, but as soon as that blood bag was fully drained, I was so out of here. That wouldn't work if he was hovering over me.

"I am not staring. As you pointed out, I am reading," he said quirking his eyebrow at me.

He'll get bored and leave, I told myself as I rolled over onto my side so I didn't have to look at his beautiful face. Who am I kidding. He was as stoic as they came. He could stare at a blank wall for hours without flinching. He was guardian extrordinaire.

The blood bag was almost gone and I decided to switch tactics.

"So do you think there's any possibility of finding me a magazine or something? I'm not as tired after my little nap. Reading usually puts me right out, I lied hoping he would fall for it.

"I will be right back," he said leaving his book.

The minute he was gone, I sat up, yanked out the IV and stuffed my feet into my shoes.

"And where do you think you're going?" His voice startled me as I was just about to reach the door.

"Oh come on, seriously," I cried turning around to face him.

"You need to rest," he said steering me back towards my hospital bed.

"Why can't I rest at home?" I moaned.

"I suppose that would be alright. Do you want me to call Lord Badica over to get you," he asked pulling out his phone.

"No!" I cried, my eyes widening. If there was anything I didn't want, it was that.

"I think you're right. I need to be here. I feel weak," I said faking a cough as I climbed dutifully back into bed. As much as it killed me to be around Dimitri, right now he was the lesser of the two evils. He didn't know who I was and wasn't pushing me to come to bed with him. I had one night to figure out how to get Andrew out of my apartment.

**Any thoughts on how to get rid of Andrew? She still hasn't fed normally. What will happen when she does? She's already slipped up twice. Will Dimitri start to figure it out? **


	8. Chapter 7: Shadows

**Chapter 7: Shadows**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

RPOV

"So are you like going to follow me everywhere?" I huffed. I had been released from the infirmary with strict instructions to head straight to the feeders. The plan was to skip the feeders and head back to the apartment to deal with my current boyfriend situation or at least it was, until a certain Russian decided to make it his mission to make sure I fed.

"No, just the feeders," he replied calmly, although his body language said he was really annoyed with me. I recognized the same hidden agitation he used to have with me at the Academy when we first started training. I had the urge to laugh because here we were back in the same place we'd been back then. My heart constricted as I realized the chance of him falling for me in this body were slim to none. Not only was I less attractive, I couldn't fight to save my life and I was stuck in the body or a moroi princess. Life was cruel. If they'd put me in the body of another dhampir, I might have had a shot. Dimitri wasn't a rule breaker. It had been hard enough for him to have inappropriate relations with a seven year younger student. He was unlikely to get involved with his charge, let alone a princess. It would be unethical and unheard of for a royal moroi to be with a dhampir, well that is unless you were Adrian Ivashkov. Somehow he always managed to do the most outrageous things and no one blinked an eye. I decided it was futile to dwell on my love life when I had more important things to worry about, like how I was going to ditch Dimitri before we got to the feeders.

"So I was thinking, maybe you could go get me a hot chocolate and a donut or two while I'm at the feeders," I suggested in my most seductive voice.

"I will go with you to get them after you've seen the feeders," he said not even sparing a glance in my direction as he continued towards the building that housed the feeders.

"Okay, seriously, you're my guardian, don't I get a say in when and where I need you?" I asked trying not to sound snotty as I pulled rank on him.

"Not when your life is in danger," he replied.

"Uh, in case you haven't noticed, we're within the wards. There are no strigoi." He of course ignored me.

"I'm not kidding, you're dismissed!" I said wincing as I used a line I'd heard many a royal say to their guardians over the years, however rude and disrespectful it might be.

He stopped dead in his tracks, turning to face me. "I am following Queen Vasilissa's orders and part of keeping you safe is protecting you from yourself," he said finally looking at me as he spoke. Wow the man sure had regained his super control. If someone had said that to me, royal or not, I would have slapped the shit out of them.

"For the last time, I do not need protection!" I growled stomping through the door as he held it open for me.

"Good morning Princess Soraya," the guardian on duty greeted me.

"Whatever, look do you have anything to go?" I asked in a tone that I hoped Dimitri couldn't overhear.

"Uh, to go?" he stuttered.

"Yeah you know like blood in a bag," I said winking. He continued to give me an odd look. "Actually we don't do that. Most moroi prefer to get their blood fresh," he said looking confused. I'd probably been here a million times when Prince Rupert had been doing his council duties and this guy definitely thought I was a lunatic.

"Sign your name here and we will get you in ASAP," he said handing me a clipboard. I rolled my eyes. I had been here plenty of times with Lissa. I did not need a lesson on how to sign up for a feeder.

"Do you have any blood type preferences?" he asked.

"What no that's disgusting," I muttered. Who had a blood type preference? Ugh! I shivered just thinking about it. I was about to hand him back the clipboard when I realized I had made yet another mistake, one that could cost me everything.

"Wait, I need that back," I cried snatching it away just as he placed his hands on it.

I quickly scratched out where I had written Rose Hathaway and wrote Soroya Lazar. The guardian and Dimitri both looked at me questionably, but didn't comment. Whatever who cared if they thought I was weird.

"Okay Princess, come with me," he said showing me back through the curtains. I gulped as I looked at the man that sat in the chair behind it. I recognized him as Walter. Lissa had seen him a few times. He was in his late thirties with blonde hair and green eyes that were glazed over from the bites. He was a good size, but I was terrified that I would kill him by not knowing when to stop.

"Look, I'm not too thirsty right now. Maybe I can come back later," I said backing away. I pushed past the curtain and ran smack dab into a hard body.

DPOV

"Leaving so soon?" I asked as she ran into me in her haste to escape feeding. What I wasn't sure of was why she was fighting it so hard. She'd done this every day for twenty years. She'd asked for a bag of blood first at the infirmary and now at the feeders. That was very atypical for a moroi. Most royals demanded blood straight from the source. They had preferences on who and what blood type they would feed on and were adamant that they get priority in line when they came here. I'd seen it many times before. None of them ever had the squeamish look on their face that she did when they thought about blood.

I took a good look at her and my face softened. She was breathing heavy, perspiration had formed on her forehead and her eyes showed true fear. I realized that she must have been traumatized when she witnessed her entire family killed by strigoi. I had seen that look of fear before as adrenaline coursed through their veins. I had seen it in the eyes of every innocent victim whose life I took when I was strigoi.

"It's okay to be afraid after what happened," I said hoping to ease her nerves.

"What?" she asked seeming confused.

"I know you've been through a lot and being here with things changing so rapidly hasn't given you much time to adjust. How can I put you at ease?" I asked.

"I'm perfectly at ease," she insisted indignantly crossing her arms.

"You don't always have to be so brave. No one expects you to forget what happened," I said probably overstepping my bounds. I couldn't help it. I felt responsible for her pain somehow. Even though I knew I wasn't the one who killed her family, I had killed other people's families and I needed to atone for that somehow. The remorse and guilt weighed heavily on me daily just as it did about me not being able to save Rose. I may not have been able to be there to help the families of my own victims or to protect Rose when she needed it the most, but I could be there for the new princess. She needed someone and I wanted her to be able to trust me.

She eyed me closely for a minute and relaxed her stance.

"You're right. It was horrible, but I can't talk about it right now," she said softly looking away from me.

"If you ever want to, I'm a pretty good listener," I assured her.

"Thanks, I appreciate it," she said and I could see that it wasn't me she was angry at, it was the situation.

"Okay let's do this," she said taking a deep breath as she turned back to where Walter, one of the feeders was waiting.

I watched curiously as she bent down licking her lips before baring her fangs to his neck. She looked almost as if this was her first time feeding, which was absurd, but still, something about her seemed off.

"Here goes nothing," she muttered.

Her entire body quivered as she timidly broke the skin and began to feed. I could see her relax as she continued to drink. I waited for her to finish, but she didn't stop not even when he began to struggle.

"Princess," I said trying to grab her attention. She didn't seem to hear me.

"Princess," I repeated. "It's time to stop." She didn't heed my warning and I wasn't sure what to do so I approached her placed my hands on her shoulders and spoke again this time louder.

"You're killing him," I said pulling her away from his neck.

She seemed to snap out of whatever stupor she was in. "Oh my God! What did I do?" she cried reeling back in shock.

"It's okay, you're fine. Walter is fine," I said trying to calm her down.

"No, he isn't fine. Look at him! I took too much. I didn't know when to stop. That's the problem with feeding from people. It's too complicated. I don't know how to do it. Why didn't they just let me have a blood bag?" she cried on the verge of hyperventilating.

"You have to calm down," I said stepping forward. I had no idea what was causing hr hysteria, but she needed to take a deep breath.

"No, I can't. This is too much. Why are you doing this to me! You knew this would happen!" she shouted as she looked up at the sky.

"Let me take you home," I said trying to divert her attention from whatever invisible person she was screaming at. She was starting to draw a crowd. If there was one thing I knew about the royal court is how fast rumors traveled. I put my hand lightly on her shoulder trying to steer her out of the room.

"No, leave me alone!" she screeched shaking my hand off before bolting out the door faster than any moroi I'd ever seen.

I took off after her and being that I was faster I caught up with her rather quickly. She had stopped at the edge of the park and sat down in the grass with her head between her legs. It was quiet save for her sobbing. I took a chance and sat down next to her. No words were spoken, but her sobs quieted and eventually subsided altogether.

"You must think I'm a real mess," she said breaking the silence.

"Under the circumstances, you're doing a lot better than anyone expects," I told her honestly. Guardians are trained to deal with strigoi attacks both mentally and physically, but moroi were sheltered. Few ever came close to seeing a strigoi and the ones who did usually didn't live to tell about it. In my book she was holding up rather well.

She sighed. "I just hate the thought of drinking blood now that I've seen what it can do," she said looking up at me. Her face was stained with tears and I had the briefest urge to wipe them away, but held back.

"I understand. It isn't easy to overcome something like that," I said remembering how I hadn't been able to eat anything the first few weeks after I was changed back. The thought of how I had fed so viciously and how I murdered all of those innocent people had made my stomach sour. Even now it was uncomfortable watching her feed even if it wasn't the same as when I was strigoi. I remembered how that blood lust felt and the powerful feeling that came with draining the life force out of a living being. I pushed those thoughts out of my head. I would have plenty of time to dwell on them later, when I was alone.

"How about we go get that donut now," I suggested holding out my hand as I rose to my feet.

"Okay," she nodded placing her hand in mine without hesitation. When our fingers touched I felt a familiar spark. My body tensed and I pulled my hand away quickly.

RPOV

As soon as I touched his hand, I knew it was a mistake to spend time with him. The chemistry between our souls was undeniable and I knew he felt it. I made a resolve to keep my distance, but that would have to start tomorrow. Today I would be weak and indulge myself in what little time I did spend with him.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a girl eat before?" I asked quirking my eyebrow at him as he watched in awe as I stuffed down three chocolate donuts and a hot chocolate. His puny bagel was only half finished on his plate.

"I have," he responded and I could see pain flash in his eyes as he was reminded of me or the real me anyway. I felt bad for making him sad, but a part of me liked that he still missed me. Another part of me told myself I was acting too much like my old self and if I wasn't careful I would anger the powers that be. I let him escort me back to my apartment where Andrew was no doubt waiting for me.

"Where the hell have you been?" I fell asleep last night and I woke up an hour ago and you were still gone. Where did you go?" he asked in an accusatory tone.

"I got a little dizzy and had to stay overnight at the infirmary. It wasn't a big deal," I said brushing him off.

"Are you okay?" he asked embracing me tightly. "I was so worried. Why didn't you call? I would have come and stayed with you. You don't have to keep handling this alone."

"I'm fine," I said disentangling myself from his grip.

"You don't look fine," he snorted taking in my windblown hair and tear stained cheeks.

"What do you want to do today? I thought maybe we could go to dinner later if you're up to it," he said.

"Don't you have to get home?" I asked.

"Home?" he asked scratching his head.

"Well yeah, you know the place where you live."

"Raya are you sure you're okay? Did you hit your head?" he asked again with concern.

"I'm really fine, why do you ask?"

"Sweetie, I can't go home, you know that," he stated.

"What do you mean? What's wrong with your house?"

He sighed. "You don't remember?" he asked.

"Should I?" He wasn't making any sense. How hard was it for him to get in his car and drive home?

"Raya, the attack was at our place. Your family was over for dinner when it happened," he said stroking my hand as he spoke. "I was at the store and when I came home I found everyone well you know…," he said his voice cracking. "You were missing. I thought they'd taken you or worse that they turned you."

Our place? I gulped. Crap! We lived together. That was going to make this so much more difficult.

"We live together," I stated.

He nodded. "We had just moved in when classes let out for the summer. You don't remember?" he asked looking devastated.

I shook my head. "Some things are a little foggy since the attack," I admitted.

"I know it's been hard. I am trying to figure out what you want me to do or say, but you keep pushing me away. It's unlike you. We share everything. I'm scared Raya. I feel like you don't want me around," he said.

You wouldn't be wrong, I thought, but I couldn't tell him that right now. He was so broken up. I didn't know what to say so I let him pull me into his arms for his comfort as well as my own.

"I'm sorry, things have been just awful. My parents are gone, I don't know how I'm going to handle being a princess and I feel like crap," I said letting out my true feelings for the first time. While it was true that my parents were still alive, they might as well be dead. I wasn't allowed contact with them or at least any that would be comforting. It killed me to be around Dimitri without telling him who I was. The only person I could handle right now was Lissa because at least with her, I could try to have a close friendship. I could always make more friends, but Icould not force someone to fall in love with me or accept me as a daughter.

"Shh, it's okay baby, I know. I'm here. You're not going to lose me. I won't abandon you, I promise," he said rubbing calming circles on my back as I cried on his shoulder. I shouldn't have allowed him to comfort me. I should have pulled away, but I had no one right now. I was so alone and he was here willing to listen and comfort me the way I needed. I would work up the courage to break his heart another day, right now I would be selfish. Tomorrow I would be brave or so I told myself.

APOV

"Have you noticed anything peculiar about the new Lazar Princess?" I asked as I sat with Lissa in her chambers. She wanted a report on how Jill was handling my darkness, but I had other motives for this meeting.

"Peculiar? Not that I've seen. Why? Have you?" she asked.

"She's an odd one to figure out is all," I said keeping my opinions to myself. Andrew Badica was an old friend of mine and I had spent quite a few summers at the Badica's lake house as a child playing with him and Soraya, yet she acted as if she didn't know who I was. Her aura was confusing as well. It had dark swirls like the ones I saw around Jill and used to see around Rose. Ah Rose, I hadn't thought about her in a while. Not that I didn't still miss her or regret that we were on the outs when she died, but I had moved on at least romantically. Not that I could go public with the fact that I was involved with a human alchemist. It was more for her protection than mine. I was never one to care about status or race. That was what I hated the most about being royal. It was full of prejudices and preconceived notions of what one could and could not do with their lives. I was so not interested in politics either. Things had become slightly better due to Lissa being queen, but still I wasn't one to get involved in other people's affairs without a good reason and this time I had one.

I had suspicions that Soraya hadn't really survived that attack and if she hadn't then who brought her back and did she know she had died or if she was bonded? I hadn't seen any other spirit users around her, but I was determined to figure her out before the summer was over.

**Okay so a lot going on in this chapter! Will Adrian figure it out? Do you think Dimitri will let himself fall for her even though she is a moroi princess? What about Andrew? I thought she was going to get rid of him. Will she? If you want to see him go away review and tell me why! **


	9. Chapter 8: Fight Fire with Fire

**Chapter 8: Fight Fire with Fire**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

**Someone asked what days I update. It is once a week, don't really pick a special day, just whenever I have a chapter finished. Sometimes it is more than once a week. Also someone asked about the bond. It is still there. That is why she was sent back to Earth. She checks in with Lissa in a previous chapter and she will be in her head a bit during this chapter as well. **

RPOV

I knew it was wrong to keep Andrew around so as much as it pained me to hurt him, I decided to sit him down and have a talk. From the way he'd curled his body around mine last night after I'd fallen asleep from exhaustion, I knew I had to take action or things would get wildly out of hand.

"I don't believe you," he stated with trepidation. "Suddenly you just stopped loving me? How does that even happen? Two days before the attack we were shopping for engagement rings and now you want me to leave!" He had gone from calm and happy to hysterical in a matter of seconds.

I sat on the couch with my hand to my forehead. As I had anticipated, he wasn't taking rejection well and why should he? Everything about this was wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I didn't belong in this body and he deserved to know the truth, that the women he loved was gone. He was right. She wouldn't be doing this to him. Hell she was probably rolling over in her grave as I spoke.

"Andrew, you have to listen to me. I'm doing you a favor. I can't love you the way you want. It's like a part of me died in that attack," I tried explaining.

"Apparently the sane part," he snorted pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"I am not the same person I was last week. That day changed me and there's no going back. We both need to move forward with our lives," I said placing my hand on his arm.

"You are my future," he rasped his voice thick with emotion. "At least you were a week ago. I don't know what's gotten into you. We used to want the same things. We were going to get married and have a family together. I thought that's what you wanted. How could you just change your mind in a week? When I thought I lost you, my world ended. There isn't anything for me without you. There hasn't been for a long time. We've been together since we were twelve. You have to help me understand this," he pleaded. "Did I do something?"

I looked into his eyes and the pain and betrayal I saw there was heartbreaking.

I shook my head vehemently. "No, you have done nothing wrong. You've been wonderful and I don't deserve you. I know we have been through so much together and that is why I need you to go. Everyone I loved is gone. They were taken from me in an instant. I can't risk having that happen to me again. I need to be alone right now. I'm so messed up. I can't even fathom what happened, let alone be in a relationship. I need time to grieve and heal. I need to know what it's like to be on my own for once."

"So you're pushing me away because you're afraid of losing me?" he asked.

"More or less," I responded.

"That makes absolutely no sense. I'm right here. I keep telling you I won't ever leave you." He was desperate at this point on his knees in front of me begging me to love him. I felt sick as I realized that I was in exactly the same position as he was. I wanted to do the same and beg Dimitri to love me, only I couldn't.

"Please just give me some time to think," I requested.

He sat back on the couch running a hand through his hair.

"You mean like taking a break?" he asked reluctantly.

I nodded relieved that he was finally coming to acceptance. "Yes, exactly like that. Give me some time to grieve and adjust to this whole new life I've been forced into."

"And then we'll be together," he said looking hopeful.

"We can reevaluate things in time and see if we still fit," I stated knowing that we wouldn't fit, but not having the heart to shatter his dreams all at once. He would have time to think and I could distance myself from him and hopefully it would be less painful for him in a few weeks or months. I didn't want to lead him on indefinitely, but I knew how devastating it was for the one you loved not to love you back and I hated that he had to go through that. For a royal, he wasn't all bad and this wasn't his fault. He didn't deserve the heartache of thinking the one he loved had abandoned him. If he knew she was gone, then at least he could move on.

"I hate this," he said. "But if you need time, then I will give it to you. I love you and I know that we are going to get through this," he said taking my hands in his.

"If you need me for anything, anything at all, I will be in guest housing. When you're ready, I will be waiting." He cupped my face in his hands and brushed his lips across mine gently. His gaze lingered on me for several seconds before he closed the door leaving me alone.

Now that he was gone, I had other pressing matters to attend to. I had a meeting tomorrow with Lissa to discuss the passing of Prince Rupert's title. I also had to do a little research on my new life. I had received my schedule for school in the mail and had no idea what to do with it. I didn't even know what my major was, let alone how I would pass classes I knew nothing about. I also needed to figure out what element I specialized in. If I was going to be of any use in protecting Lissa, I needed to learn to harness my magic and use it defensively.

After hours of searching through papers and online databases, I finally figured out what I specialized in and boy was this going to be fun.

I decided that I was going to need help perfecting my magic, just the way I was going to need someone to fight with me in the gym. I had a pretty good idea of who I could ask to help me. I dressed in yoga pants and a tank top, put on my running shoes and grabbed a bottle of water. I let my thoughts drift until I was in Lissa's head. She was at a meeting and I surveyed the room. I found the other people in the room an odd combination of individuals. Adrian was there along with Sonya Karp, Mikhail Tanner, Jill, Angeline, Eddie and much to my utter surprise, Sydney Sage.

"What are your thoughts on returning to Amberwood next year?" Lissa asked. I wondered what Amberwood was and what all of these people had in common.

"I like it there. I think we should go back even if it is safe for us to stay here now," Jill said. Apparently the question had been directed at her.

"And what do you think Eddie?" Lissa asked.

"I think it's a safe environment, especially from Strigoi. I'm not too worried about the warriors right now, but they're always a concern. If Jill is happy there, then I have no problem staying until she finishes," he said smiling in Jill's direction. She blushed profusely and smiled back. Way to go Eddo, I cheered in my head. It was about time he got a little action.

"Sydney, you won't be able to stay on campus as a student again because you've graduated, however I understand that there is a professor that would like to keep you on as her assistant, which would allow you to live in guest housing on campus and continue to keep an eye on things. I've already discussed it with Stanton and your superiors and they are on board. What are your thoughts?"

Sydney looked between Jill and Eddie and then over at Adrian. It was strange, Lissa was terrible at reading auras, but even I could pick up on his it was so bright right now. He was burning with desire for Sydney or at least that is what I think that red and pink swirls in an aura meant. Lissa was frustrated that she sucked at auras and paid little attention to them if at all, but this was hard to miss even for her.

Of all the outrageous things he'd done, this was by far the most outlandish. I was happy for him though that he had moved on after my death, but a little sad for him that he was in love with someone who would never return his feelings. She was an alchemist and as far as I knew completely terrified of moroi. The poor man had a knack for falling for people who were unavailable.

"I'm okay with it. The alchemists want to remain in good standing with the moroi monarchy and I'm already used to the job requirements so I'm in," she said. "Besides, my sister Zoey is going to be there and I'd like to keep an eye on her. She's new to this and requires supervision. I'd rather it be from me than a stranger."

"Good, Adrian, do you think you can handle another year in Palm Springs?" Lissa asked.

"If Sage is in, then I'm in," he said. "Besides I'm enjoying my art classes amongst other things," he stated cockily to which Jill smirked. His words seemed to have hidden innuendo to which Lissa was not privy, but I could tell he intended that comment for Sydney's benefit. To her credit, she managed to roll her eyes and blow off his comment. I thought for sure she would have been appauled and angry. Things sure had changed while I was dead.

"Okay then if it's good with Sonya, then I'm okay if you all want to go back in late August," she said. Sonya nodded in agreement. I looked down at her hand which was intertwined with Mikhail's. They both wore wedding bands. I was so glad they go their happy ending even if Dimitri and I couldn't have ours.

"Angeline, we'll work on getting you a promise mark. Guardian Croft will put you through some testing written and physical. If you pass you're going back with them and continue as Jill's roommate."

"Adrian, I need you to stay behind. The rest of you can go. Jill I'll see you at dinner?" she asked dismissing the rest.

Jill nodded before following Eddie and the rest out of the room.

I wondered why she had sent Jill away to school. Palm Springs was far. I knew why Eddie was there and I guess Sydney, but why was Adrian in Palm Springs? What did he have to do with it and how on Earth did Angeline figure into the picture?

"How are things with Jill going?" she asked.

He shrugged. "She's handling it pretty well now that she has more control of the bond," he said.

"You're not drinking and partying at all hours anymore or at least that is what Eddie told me."

"I'm trying to keep all of that under control for her sake. Sometimes I slip, but I'm really trying," he stated.

"Good, she's only sixteen. It's bad enough that she's lived through so much already. She doesn't need to add your misbehaviors to it.:

"She's a tough cookie that sister of yours. She's handling the darkness pretty well."

"I know. I just wish Rose was here to help her understand it more," Lissa said wistfully.

Wait darkness, holy shit, when did Jill die? Did Adrian bring her back? Did he say they were bonded? That had to be a mistake.

"We all miss her," he said sighing.

"Hey have you noticed anything Peculiar about the new Lazar Princess?" he asked. Warning bells went off in my head. He knew something was up with me. How? I had only seen him once at the funeral. I tried avoiding him as much as possible. Surely he couldn't tell who I was by just looking at me or could he? If he could see my aura, it must look funny to him. I had to make it a point to keep away from him as much as possible until he went back to Palm Springs. If he figured it out, I was in deep shit. I wondered about that though. They only told me I couldn't tell anyone, but if he figured it out for himself, would that be the same? I wasn't sure if I wanted to risk it or not. It would be so nice though to have at least one person who could see me for me.

Lissa said she hadn't thought I was acting strange and he left. I hoped that he would drop it, but who knew with him. I then sifted through her thoughts trying to ascertain the information I had been seeking when I entered her mind.

"I found Sparky exactly where Lissa thought he would be, brooding in the courtyard, alone.

"Christian," I called out as I approached him.

"Princess Soraya," he greeted me looking up from his comic book. Yep, Sparky was a comic book geek. I wondered if he larped as well. That would be hysterical. I couldn't help but laugh as I pictured him dressing up with his friends, not that he really had any friends.

"I heard you're the person to talk to about defensive fire magic," I said jumping right to the chase.

"Uh yea, I've been teaching a defensive magic class, but it started in January," he said.

"That's cool. I don't want to be in the class," I said. "I want private lessons."

"Private lessons?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm willing to pay if you want," I said holding out a wad of cash.

"Uh, I guess I could teach you a few things," he said scratching his head.

"You don't need to pay. I'm just wondering what you're hoping to get out of this."

"I heard you incinerated some strigoi when St. Vladimir's was attacked and that you worked with a novice to help her take them down using your magic. I want to learn how to do that," I said.

His eyes widened."Woah, slow down a minute! That was a life or death situation. I had to do what I had to do. Have you even used your magic defensively before?"

"No, but I want to."

"Look, I know that you've been through a lot and believe me I sympathise, but Lissa just gave you the best guardian we have. Why not just let Belikov protect you?"

"Do you have a guardian?" I asked.

"I do," he stated. "And wouldn't you want to help him if it meant you could help save his life?" I asked hands on my hips.

"Yes, but I'm a nobody. You're a princess," he argued.

"You are royal and I don't care what my status is. No one is going to die because they were protecting me. It isn't fair. I refuse to be helpless. If you won't teach me, then I will find someone who will. Do you have something better to do?" I asked pointing to his comic books.

"No," he acquiesced. "I suppose not, but if Belikov finds out, he'll be pissed, so we need to keep this on the down low," he said.

"I can do that," I told him.

"When do you want to start?" he asked.

"What are you doing now?"

"Nothing I guess. Lissa is in royal meetings all day."

"So let's get started," I said dragging him to a secluded area of the court that Hans had made me sweep when I was on punishment for taking Lissa to Las Vegas. There was a small unused chapel and a large wooded area.

"Okay let's start small," he said. Try to light that candle.

I looked at the candle and thought about fire. I squinted my eyes and held my breath, but nothing happened.

"Okay, try to envision the candle lit," he stated. I concentrated again on the candle and imagined it lit just like he said, but still, nothing happened.

"This is ridiculous. I'll never learn this way."

He looked at me with a peculiar look on his face. "How did you pass your specialization test?" he asked quizzically. Shit that's right, I should be able to light the candle with ease. Most moroi practice their elements quite diligently at around age thirteen or fourteen so they can figure out what they specialize in.

I shrugged. "Things aren't working for me since the attack. My emotions are all screwed up," I said hoping that he would buy into it. He should with all the crap he had gone through. Again, I wondered what had happened to Tasha.

"Yea, tell me about it. After my Aunt did what she did, I was a mess. I couldn't think and my emotions were all over the place. I had a hard time teaching my class for a while."

"What ever happened to your Aunt?" I asked trying to sound like it was an innocent question instead of a nosy one.

Again he gave me a funny look. "It was all over the news," he said a pained expression coming across his face.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said not wanting to push him. I'd have to look it up later.

By the end of the session I had managed to light the candle, but that was it. It was discouraging, but I would find a way to get better. I had to. There was no way I was letting Dimitri die for me. I would fight back, no matter what.

**Okay so she's a fire user. She's going to Sparky for help and she's gotten rid of Andrew temporarily. She's learning a bit about bloodlines, the golden lily and indigo spell (If you didn't read them. There are spoilers) Let me know what you think, I did update early after all=)**


	10. Chapter 9: Bizarre Behavior

**Chapter 9: Bizarre Behavior**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**So sorry for the late update. My husband's grandmother passed away so we were pretty tied up with the wake and funeral this week. **

DPOV

"Why can't she just feed?" I growled slamming my fist down on the counter. I had seen hide nor hair of my charge in the last five days despite having tried my best to track her down. Other guardians had caught glimpses of her in the gym at all hours of the day or night and out on the track, regardless of the daylight. She seemed to be everywhere I wasn't and I was beginning to think she was avoiding me. This morning I had received a call from the feeding facility asking me if the Princess had left the royal court. It seemed that she hadn't been to the feeders since I last took her. It shouldn't surprise me with the way she acted when she'd fed. I grabbed my keys determined to find her and bring her directly to the feeders.

I banged and banged on her apartment door, finally using the master key Lissa had entrusted me with when I was in the royal guard. I surveyed the apartment which was empty. It looked exactly the way a royal moroi would live, only it didn't. It was nicely furnished, had a great view of the court and was decorated with impeccable taste. That was where the normalcy ended and the bizarness kicked in. There was no evidence that a housekeeper had been through. Clothing was strewn about half-hazzardly, the sink was full of dirty dishes, there was an open bag of barbeque potato chips on the counter, an empty can of Dr. Pepper on the coffee table and a half eaten candy bar sticking out from between the couch cushions. The pantry was stocked with healthy food, but looked untouched. There was also a big box of things by the door labeled donate. I poked through it revealing old novels, fancy dresses, high heeled shoes and an assortment of handbags. On the top sat a selection of cardigan sweaters in a wide variety of colors. The most puzzling things were what I came across in the trash. There were photo albums, picture frames, old letters, report cards and two boxes of dark brown hair dye.

Something about this was just not right. It was customary to make drastic changes to your life after suffering a loss, like moving, changing your hair color or lashing out, but it was another to erase the memory of your loved ones by pitching their photos and other memories. She was in serious trouble and I needed to find her immediately. She was set to take her father's title day after tomorrow and I wasn't sure she was ready.

I vacated her apartment radioing the other guardians to see if anyone could give me a location on her. While I was waiting for a response I spotted Lord Andrew Badica crossing the courtyard. Surely he would know where his girlfriend was. I caught up with him quickly.

"Lord Badica, if I might have a word," I addressed him formally.

He stopped walking and looked at me.

"Oh hey, Guardian Belikov isn't it?" he asked.

I nodded. "What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you could give me a location on the princess. As you know I am her sanctioned guardian and I have some urgent business I need to discuss with her."

A pained expression came across his face. "How should I know where she is?" he said brushing me off starting to walk away. I of course followed him.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but it is imperative that I speak with her as soon as possible."

He stopped again. "What happened is she in trouble?" he asked, worry lacing his words.

"I'm not at liberty to say," I told him. "But if you care for her, you will help me."

He seemed to be wrestling with himself internally. "I don't know where she is," he admitted reluctantly.

"She's been acting really strange and she asked me to leave saying she wanted a break," he sighed sitting down on the nearest bench.

I raised my eyebrow. In addition to all of her other odd behaviors, she had broken up with her boyfriend as well.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said empathizing with him. He seemed to truly care for her and I knew all too well what it was like to not be with the one you loved.

He shrugged. "Did you try her cell?" he asked.

"Do you have the number?" That was one thing I had not been able to find thus far.

He nodded scrawling a number down on a small piece of paper, pressing it into my hands.

"Whatever is going on with her, I want to be there for her, but she keeps pushing me away. Maybe you will have better luck getting her to open up," he said dejectedly.

"I will try my best," I assured him. "Don't give up just yet. People do strange things when they are grieving. Give her time," I said knowing just how screwed up people can get when they are feeling guilty for something that wasn't their fault.

After he left, my radio buzzed. It was Eddie telling me another guardian had seen her enter the woods that led away from the main part of court two hours ago.

I headed in that direction wondering just what she was up to.

RPOV

"It shouldn't be this hard," I cried after another failed attempt at conjuring a ball of fire in my hand. Christian made it look so easy, but I was tired and weak from working out and not feeding properly.

"Are you sure you want to keep doing this? You look like you're going to pass out," he said with surprising concern.

"I'm fine, I just don't sleep well," I said. It was the truth. I hadn't been able to sleep through the night since they threw me into this body. My mind was always running on overdrive. I couldn't stop thinking about Dimitri and how much I wanted to be with him. Working out made my muscles ache so bad I needed a heating pad just to be able to walk in the mornings and thinking about the next time I'd have to take blood was making me entirely on edge. Not to mention Lissa had been really stressed lately and I'd pulled a massive amount of darkness from her yesterday that was eating at me.

"Why don't we call it a day? We could go over to the feeders. You look like you could use a little pick me up," he said probably assessing the dark circles I'd failed to conceal with even the high quality make-up I'd found amongst her things.

I huffed in annoyance. I used to be able to spend hours training and running without feeling the burn. We had only been at this for a little over an hour and I could barely stand. Being moroi sucked monkey balls. I never thought I'd wish to be a second class citizen, but right now it seemed pretty damn good compared to this. They always say, the grass is always greener on the other side and they would be right. I always thought dhampirs had it bad, but in reality, moroi had just as many problems.

"Thanks, but I think I just need some sleep," I said not wanting to go to the feeders with him.

"Okay then," he said grabbing his back pack.

"I'll catch up," I said needing a few minutes to rest before I embarked on what should have been a short walk back to my apartment.

"See you tomorrow same time?" I asked before he left.

"Sure thing. See you then," he said giving me an odd look that said, even he thought I was a little bit crazy. I hoped he wouldn't get tired of helping me. My hopes were that one of these days he would come to the gym with me and we could spar. I knew I wouldn't be able to take on a guardian just yet, but maybe I could handle fighting with another moroi. It would be a start at least. Then I could work my way up to convincing one of the guardians to fight with me, which would not be easy seeing is that they aren't supposed to hit moroi. I sat there for a half an hour trying to work up the strength to walk back to civilization. It was pleasant and quite beautiful out here. It was a nice place to be alone and think.

"Princess, may I ask what you are doing all the way out in the woods?" Dimitri's voice startled me out of my reverie.

"None of your business," I said sliding off the stone bench I'd been sitting on.

"It is my business to know where you are at all times," he stated falling into step with me as I did my best to walk away from him. I sighed knowing that being snarky with him wouldn't get me anywhere. The man had the patients of a saint. He'd proved that when he trained me the first time.

"Well then you've found me. Now you can go home."

"Actually, we have to make a stop before I escort you home."

"At the bakery?" I asked, my stomach growling something fierce.

"No at the feeders."

I gulped preparing myself to lie. Dimitri Belikov was like a human lie detector. He always knew when I wasn't being honest. I had no idea how or why, but the man was impossible to fool. I only hoped that it was just about the way he was able to read me because he loved me as versus being that good at telling if a stranger was lying. And that is what I was to him, a stranger.

"I went to the feeders this morning."

He stopped walking and I knew he knew.

"According to Guardian Carlson, you haven't been to the feeders since I last took you," he stated.

"Well they are lying. I went just this morning. They should keep better records," I said continuing to walk.

"Which feeder did you see?" he prodded.

"Walter," I responded quickly.

"That's strange because Wednesdays are Walter's day off."

"Are you accusing me of being a liar?" I asked glaring at him placing my hands on my hips.

"I am not accusing you. I am telling you that I know you are lying. Why don't you try telling me the truth? I might understand more than you think," he said sitting on a tree stump patting the seat next to him.

Oh yeah, he's going to understand completely that I am refusing to take blood because it disgusts me and because I am not really a moroi, but his dead dhampir girlfriend trapped in someone else's body and I am terrified I'll kill the feeder and turn strigoi.

"Look, I don't want to talk. I just want to go home and rest. I've had a long day," I said not wanting to start a fight with him.

"You would feel a lot better if you had blood," he reminded me.

"So people keep telling me," I muttered.

"Look, I don't want to go and you can't make me. I'm a princess now and I want my blood in a bag. If they can't get it for me, then I'll just starve," I shouted storming off in the direction of my apartment.

He followed me of course, all the while he was probably cursing himself for agreeing to be my guardian, which is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be so difficult for him that he would ask Lissa to be reassigned. I didn't want him anywhere near me. Just now when he patted the tree trunk for me to sit beside him, I had to urge to break down into his arms and tell him everything. I couldn't let that happen.

I was surprised that he didn't attempt to follow me up to my apartment and instead headed in the other direction. With any luck he'd be reassigned back to Lissa's royal guard by the end of the day and I could go about my business without his nosiness and interference.

I checked in with Lissa a few times throughout the day, but he didn't go to see her. Hell he didn't even call her. All she could worry about right now was some royal gala she was throwing for Independence day. I was able to get in a short nap and when I woke it wasn't because I was refreshed and ready to go, it was because someone was rapping loudly on my front door. I dragged myself out of bed pulling on a pair of shorts.I shouldn't have been surprised to see Dimitri standing at the door.

"If you're here to drag me to the feeders by force, I will fight you," I groaned trying to slam the door in his face. He was smart and quick and in anticipating my move, he stuck his foot in the door. In reality, I didn't have the energy to fight him.

"I am not here to drag you anywhere and you may be strong for a moroi, but I highly doubt you could take me in a fight," he said in a tone that said my behavior was no longer annoying him, but rather he found my antics amusing. I opened the door wider, reluctantly allowing him inside.

"What is it you want then?" I asked as I closed the door behind him.

"I brought you something," he said holding two paper sacs, one in each hand. I was curious, but perturbed by his sudden amicable personality. I reticently took the bigger bag from his outstretched arms and peeked inside.

My eyes widened upon viewing its contents. "How did you get this? They keep telling me no," I said lifting a bag of blood out of the paper sac.

He shrugged. "I know people."I was about to drink it down, but thought the better of it.

"What's the catch?" I asked eying him closely.

"No catch, just drink it," he stated planting himself on a stool by the breakfast nook. The more I looked at the bag, the more my mouth watered in hunger for the life source in front of me. I hated so much that it tasted good to me. I pierced the corner of the bag with my fangs and was about to chow down, when I suddenly felt self-conscious. I did not want Dimitri watching me drink blood. I knew how much it still affected him. He tried to pretend it didn't, but I knew him.

"Do you mind?" I asked glaring at him.

"Mind what?" he asked.

"I don't want you to watch me," I said shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

He nodded turning to look out the window where the sun had begun to rise. It took only seconds for me to drain the bag dry savoring every last drop. It tasted different, a little sweeter almost like it was made for me personally if that was possible. It was so much better than the past two times and I felt more of a buzz after. Maybe I was getting used to the taste. I wasn't really sure what blood was supposed to taste like. Either way, I wasn't going to question it. I was just grateful that once again my Russian Comrade had come through for me even though he didn't know it was me.

"Are you ready for the ceremony on Friday?" he asked. I wondered why he cared.

I shrugged. "As ready as one can be in a situation like this."

He hesitated before speaking again. "If you ever want to talk about anything, I am a good listener." He had already told me that a while back and I wondered what his motivation was.

"Look, you don't need to go all Dr. Phil on me. I'm fine. I don't need anyone's help."

"Not even Lord Badica's?" he asked.

I shook my head in disbelief. How had he found out about that? Oh right, we were at the royal court and everyone here knew everyone's business, especially the royals.

"Not even Andrew's," I replied. "I need to do this on my own."

"You don't have to do this alone. That is the point. Consider letting someone in. I know from personal experience that it isn't good to bottle up your emotions," he said, a pained expression briefly crossing his face. I wondered if he was thinking about when he had pushed me away after he was changed back.

"I'll think about it, but I am tired now and I want to get some rest," I said waiting for him to take the hint that I wanted him to leave.

"Okay then. I will see you on Friday." He tossed me the second bag as he made his exit. I opened it to find two chocolate donuts from the bakery and my heart broke all over again.

"Why are you doing his to me?" I whispered as I sunk to the ground with my back against the door.

**Aww poor Rose! What do you think Dimitri's motives are? He's getting suspicious don't you think? Review if you want to hear from Dimitri again. **


	11. Chapter 10: Auras

**Chapter 10: Auras**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

**Wow some of you are very intuitive. I'll let you figure out about what. Thanks for all the positive reviews. They truly inspire me to keep writing. So I know we all want to hear from Dimitri and we will, but first a little Adrian and Sydney=) Happy Early Update!**

APOV

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" I asked Sydney as I readied myself for the ceremony. Today was the day Soraya Lazar was receiving her father's title and would officially be crowned a princess. As a royal moroi and an Ivashkov my presence was required or rather my father had bequeathed a decree that I be there or he'd cut off my funding for school.

I was already planning on attending though. Andrew needed a friend right now and although I hadn't been in touch with him these last two years or so, I felt it my duty to help him through this rough patch. I'd been entirely shocked when I'd seen him moving in to guest housing last week. I'd questioned him about it and he'd broken down and confessed that Soraya had kicked him out saying she wanted a break from their relationship. Those two had been inseparable for as long as I could remember and according to Andrew they'd just moved in together and he'd bought her a ring.

I felt bad for the guy. I knew what it was like to have a broken heart, but mine had been nothing like his. I'd only known Rose for less than a year and we had only been dating casually. I had liked to pretend that we were serious and that she would one day love me the way I loved her, but deep down I always knew she didn't. She couldn't. Her aura prominently featured her love for Belikov even when he'd rejected her. None of that truly mattered now that I was with Sydney and sadly I would never know what the outcome of my relationship with Rose would have been since she was no longer with us. Eh, who was I kidding? It would have ended up with her breaking my heart, which she did anyways by dying. My heart still ached at the thought of the last time I'd seen her. I supposed it was what was supposed to happen though. I wanted to heal her, but if I had brought her back, then I wouldn't have been able to bring Jill back. I shook myself out of those thoughts. They were morbid and I was through dwelling on them at least for now. I had more important things to do, so today I would be a good friend and be there for him in his time of need.

My ulterior motives though were more insidious. I had overheard a guardian when I was at the feeders say that Soraya hadn't been in for a feeding for nearly a week and that the last time she was there, she practically killed Walter. Belikov, her newly assigned guardian had to pry her off of him. That was unlike her. She had always been a delicate feeder. I'd gone with her and Andrew many times when we all lived at Court as children and teenagers. Something wasn't right.

"No, I think I'll stay here. I don't want to draw attention," she replied. I nodded kissing the top of her head tenderly. It was difficult for me not to show my love for her in public, but we had to maintain secrecy. The only two people who knew anything about us were Ms. Terwilliger and Jill. Lissa may have had an inkling of some sort of funny business going on between us do to my insistence that she tell the alchemists that Sydney was needed here at court for the summer. Without her help Sydney would have gone home with her sister Zoey and I may never have seen her again.

"You do look handsome though," she stated looking up at me and smiling as she dangled a piece of pie into our baby dragon's cage. That was the thing I loved most about her. As much as she complained about her magic and how evil she thought it was, she hadn't been able to keep the poor little guy cooped up in his rock form. She did insist that he stay here with me in my suite since it was much larger and more accommodating that the small room they'd given her on the other side of court. I didn't mind though. The little guy had really come to our aid a while back and keeping him here also meant she came to visit more often under the guise of checking up on our little monster.

"Dinner later?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure, Jill, Eddie and Angeline said something about meeting up at one of the cafés," she said.

I left her to tend to Hopper who was now happily eating his blueberry pie as I headed over to the palace where the festivities were taking place.

It was crowded and it took me a minute to locate Andrew. He was sitting near the back, a sullen look on his face. His family sat up near where my father was with the rest of the snobs. I casually plopped down into the seat beside him.

"How you holding up?" I asked placing my hand on his shoulder.

He shook his head. "Not well," he stated. I took in his rumpled clothing, his rapidly growing beard and the dark circles under his eyes.

"She hasn't spoken a word to me in over a week, she's been at the gym everyday and she died her hair dark brown. She is acting so strange," he said putting his head in his hands as he tugged on the edges of his hair. "I wish I knew what was going on in her head."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," I told him.

"Have you spoken to her recently?" he asked. "Has she mentioned me?" He sounded so hopeful and I hated to bring him back down to reality.

"I haven't spoken to her. I was planning to later today."

"Good luck. She's been pretty elusive. Even her guardian can't keep track of her," he snorted angrily. I knew he wasn't really angry at her. He was just using it to mask his pain.

Minutes later we all rose to our feet for Lissa's queenly entrance and stood silent as she passed the Lazar title onto Soraya, who was hard to get a read on. Outwardly she seemed nervous, but her aura was tough to grasp. It wasn't like others'. Most auras were blue or violet add in a little pink for love, red for anger and yellow for excitement and people were pretty predictable. Hers was dark though, much darker than most in fact, the only one I'd seen as dark as hers was Rose's and I guess now Jill's. I had guessed that she was shadow kissed from the grey of her aura at the funeral, but I had been drinking and she was upset so I couldn't be sure. Today confirmed my suspicions though. Her aura was blackish gray with a hint of anxiety. I watched her closely throughout the entire ceremony waiting for a spark of anything normal, but there wasn't. The only emotion I registered was that she seemed to have happy feelings towards Lissa. I knew they hadn't been friends, but maybe she would trust her enough to confide things in her and I could figure out who she was bonded to. I wasn't quite sure why I cared so much, but something made me want to solve the mystery that was Soraya Lazar.

After it was over, I watched as Andrew approached her. It was odd because the Soraya I knew's aura had always burned brightest around him. Their aura's usually reached out and touched each other as well, like they did when two souls were meant to be. Right now the only thing she was feeling about him was annoyance with a side of guilt. There wasn't a hint of a loving feeling for him at all. That in itself was odd. Even though Rose hadn't loved me the way she loved Belikov, her aura had had slightly pinkish hues when we were together signaling that she did have some romantic feelings for me. It was like she didn't even know him. Friends usually had warm feelings for each other and I could see connections between people through their auras, but it was like hers was completely detached from his. There was nothing to signify their many years of friendship and romance.

I listened intently to their brief conversation which wasn't all that interesting, just the basic pleasantries and some congratulations followed by an awkward silence and an even more awkward half hearted hug. It wasn't normal behavior for two people who had been madly in love since they were toddlers.

The crowd had begun to disperse and I wanted to get her alone so I waited until the majority of people had congratulated her and again expressed their love and deep sympathy for the loss of Prince Rupert. It was bizarre that as they spoke of her father and the rest of her family she was sad, but not sad enough. It was a superficial feeling that didn't even begin to dominate her aura the way it should have. After a loved one's passing most people's auras were so painfully sad and depressed that it hurt me to be around them, but hers wasn't. It was black, but not in the same way. Hers was an angry sort of black that came from taking the darkness from a bond mate. I had already swept the room and had yet to come up with another spirit user. There was of course Lissa, Sonya and myself, but no one new, no one to explain how she had been brought back.

I approached her as I usually would. Her eyes widened in surprise as I pulled her in for a hug.

"Adrian," she greeted eying me suspiciously.

"Raya, it's good to see you again. You look gorgeous," I complimented her. She wrinkled her nose looking down at her pastel pink dress with a look of disgust.

"Thanks, I should be going now," she said desperate to get away from me. Yes she was definitely hiding something, but what?

"Are you sure you have to go? Why not come out for a celebratory drink with Andrew and I?" I asked baiting her.

"I can't, I have a busy day," she lied.

"That bad huh?" I asked clucking my tongue.

"What?" she asked.

"You know the guy is miserable without you. What happened? Three weeks ago you were practically engaged and now you're barely speaking."

"Adrian can you please just leave well enough alone?" she snapped.

"Sorry, it's just I thought we were all friends and I don't understand what happened? You two were so in love."

"I said I don't want to talk about it," she growled.

"Okay okay, I'm sorry," I said putting my hands up in surrender. "Let me know if you need anything." I decided to watch her inconspicuously for a bit. She sat down in a chair looking exhausted. She sat there in silence for a while and I was about to leave when something caught my eye.

I watched from behind a pillar as Belikov moved from his guarding position in the back of the room and sat next to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but one thing was unmistakable. Her aura lit up like a firework the moment she laid eyes on him. It was the brightest I'd ever seen full of such love and adoration, but also sadness and longing. His aura was pretty neutral blue and purple with a hint of pink that showed he was fond of her, but not in love. If I hadn't looked closely enough I might have missed the most important detail. As they continued to converse, his aura reached out slowly caressing hers as if it knew exactly who she was.

"Well I'll be damned," I muttered.

DPOV

I tossed my keys on the counter and sat down warily on the edge of the bed removing my combat boots and socks. Today had been a long day. After the ceremony I'd had an eight hour shift at the front gates of the palace. Lissa had graceful allowed me to keep my status as a royal guard when I wasn't on duty with the princess. I was about to ready myself for bed when I realized I still had one more thing to do. I retrieved the supplies I needed and took a seat at the kitchen table. I watched idly as the blood flowed from my vein through the clear plastic tubing and into the bag. When it was finished I removed the needle and properly disposed of it. I hung the fresh bag of blood in the refrigerator and shut off the lights.

My alarm sounded too early for my liking and after having slept only a few hours I was awake again not ready to face another day without my Roza.

I let the hot water beat down on my back for a little longer than usual preparing myself to deal with my unruly charge. She was schedule to attend a meeting of the royal council today and as her guardian it was my duty to make sure she arrived on time. For most guardians that wouldn't be a hard thing to do, however in my case, I had a charge that was unreliable and sometimes difficult to locate. It was only five so I decided to head over to the gym for a quick workout before I took on the challenge of finding the princess.

As it turns out I needn't have bothered looking for her. As I approached the gym, there she was toiling away on the track. I jogged over catching up with her quickly and keeping pace with her.

"Are you following me?" she accused pushing herself to run faster, which was still a snail's pace compared to how fast Rose and I used to run.

I shrugged. "No, I usually work out at this time," I replied.

"No you don't. You're early. You're usually here at six," she argued. The fact that she kept tabs on my workout habits meant she was definitely avoiding me on purpose.

"I do, but today I was awake early," I said.

"Trouble sleeping?" she asked intuitively.

"It would seem that way," I responded.

"Is that why you are here? Couldn't you sleep?" I asked.

"Something like that," she muttered. "I used to be able to sleep through a tornado. Not so much anymore." I knew the feeling. I'd usually slept pretty well before I was turned, but since then and especially since Rose died, I hadn't slept more than an hour or two at a time without waking up.

"So what's with the running?" I asked as she finally slowed to a stop panting hard.

She shrugged. "I'm weak. I don't stand a chance in a fight. If you were me and you saw a strigoi, what would you do?" she asked cocking her head to one side.

"I'd run," I told her swallowing back the wave of emotion that hit me as I remembered giving Rose this lesson during the first few days of her training.

"Exactly," she said dabbing the sweat from her brow with a clean towel.

"Why in the daylight?" I asked trying to distract myself from thoughts about Rose. The sun was still high in the sky. This was not an optimum time for her to be practicing her running skills.

"I miss the sun," she said a wistful look passing across her face.

I raised my eyebrow at her.

"I mean, why not? If I can run in the sun even though it hurts me, then I might be able to run if I am wounded," she defended herself ignoring her odd comment.

"You shouldn't worry so much," I told her as we entered the gym side by side. "I won't let anything happen to you."

She inhaled sharply. "I know you won't, but I don't want anything to happen to you either."

"I'm a guardian. My life is to protect yours," I reminded her.

"It shouldn't be that way. Moroi life isn't the only life that matters. Dhampirs should have rights too." Her response surprised me. She had all but referred to me as her slave the first day we met and now she was defending my rights. Something about that didn't make sense.

"You're the only one who feels that way," I said following her over to the free weight section.

"No I'm not. Lissa feels that way and Adrian and Mia and Jill. There are many moroi out there who want to fight alongside their guardians."

"I see," I said holding out the ten pound weights for her. It was odd that she would bring up Mia and Jill. I knew she went to school with Lissa and she knew Ivashkov from way back when, but where had she come across the other two? Things about her were not adding up and I was determined to figure out her story. I turned on the radio to a station I figured she would like and we worked out in silence for a while.

"What no crap eighties music?" she muttered under her breath.

"You're not a fan of the eighties I take it?" I asked.

"What makes you say that?" she laughed nervously.

"You just said eighties music was crap," I said calling her out on it in a teasing manor.

Her eyes widened. "I did? I don't remember," she covered turning away from me.

When she finished with the free weights she began taping up her hands. I watched curiously as she pounded the punching bag with fluid accurate jabs. They weren't terribly forceful, but her form was flawless like she'd been doing this a long time or had trained with a professional.

"How long have you been working out?" I asked curiously.

"A few weeks, why?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No reason, you just have a knack for it, I suppose."

The rest of our time together was spent in silence, save for the music coming from the sound system.

"I'll see you around," she said grabbing her water bottle as she headed out of the gym. I couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu as I watched her walk away from me her newly darkened ponytail swinging behind her.

**So what do you think is going through Adrian's mind? What about Dimitri? Who is closer to figuring it out? Reviews make me right faster=)**


	12. Chapter 11: Royal Gala

**Chapter 11: Royal Gala**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy. So first we hear from Rose, then Dimitri and then from Jill. Happy reading almost 3500 words. Don't forget to check out the poll on my home page.**

RPOV

Royal council meetings were the most god awful monotonous thing on Earth. They were even worse than sitting through Alto's class at the Academy. It had been two weeks since I had taken my position on the council and already I was in way over my head. I had no idea what I was doing. I did my best to fake it and act accordingly as a princess should.

I was surprised that after our work out two weeks ago, Dimitri had been at the gym every time I went in there. It was comfortable and we worked out simultaneously side by side in relative silence. It unnerved me at first, because every time I was around him I slipped up, first telling him I missed the sun and then making fun of his crap taste in music. Two days ago I'd nearly lost it after I caught myself almost call him Comrade. I needed to stop seeing him like this, but I couldn't help it. It was just like old times or it was for me. We talked a bit as we ran although it must have been tough for him to run at a snail's pace with me. He even encouraged me to run faster and timed me so I could see if I beat my record, which had improved immensely these past few weeks. After our work out we would each go our separate ways to shower and chance and inevitably he would show up at my apartment with two chocolate donuts, a hot chocolate and every other day, a bag of blood.

I had just finished my bag of blood when I heard a knock at the door. Dimitri was already here reading the newspaper. He looked up from his coffee and moved to answer the door.

"Queen Vasilissa," he greeted her with a small bow. I snickered as I felt her annoyance through the bond. Most of the time he called her Lissa as per her request, but he was at work right now or so he thought so he addressed her formally being the ever polite man he was.

"You can call me Lissa, Guardian Belikov," she said giving him a look.

"Soraya it's good to see you," she said stepping inside. She was dressed casually or casually for Lissa in a pair of salmon colored capris and a white eyelet top. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail.

"What brings you by?" I asked slightly put off by her being here. I hadn't been expecting company. Dimitri had suddenly felt comfortable enough here to read his paper at the breakfast nook the past few days and there was no way in hell I was kicking him out even if the place was in disarray. Entertaining the queen in my very messy apartment was less than ideal. Of course Lissa wouldn't say anything, but I knew she was thinking it.

"I was wondering if you'd like to head over to the spa with me this afternoon. I thought we could both use a little R and R and besides the gala is this evening. I figured you hadn't made an appointment and this close to the event hair and make-up is usually all booked up. I have a bit of pull when it comes to these things and managed to snag a double appointment for mani-pedis, massage, facials as well. What do you say?" she asked cheerfully. I could tell she was hopeful that I would join her. She really wanted to be friends with me and that made me ecstatic. I could also sense that she had an ulterior motive for asking me, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. She was preoccupied with so many things right now that her mind was a jumble.

"I suppose I can get away for a while," I told her.

"Great. It's all set up for two o'clock. I'll see you there," she said. "Oh and I will have my royal cleaning service stop by," she commented giving the room a once over. "Aria is really good. She's a lovely woman too," she said taking her leave.

"Is it really that bad in here?" I asked turning to Dimitri.

He glanced around, gave me a look and promptly returned to hiding behind his newspaper.

"Ugh, fine. I'm a slob, but whatever. I live alone. Whose business is it anyway?"

"I didn't say a thing," he said and I could almost see a smirk from behind his newspaper.

"Not everyone can be a neat freak like you," I muttered.

"I'm glad you came. I got us a private suite so we can talk," Lissa said as I arrived at the spa for our appointment. I was completely dreading tonight and as much as I wanted to spend time with Lissa, I couldn't help but wish she knew who I was and I could stop this charade and just be me again. Being a princess was hard work and I was so not interested in politics at least moroi politics anyway. All they did was bicker about who deserved guardians and bragged about their money, titles and whatever event they were attending next.

They were social climbers all of them and I couldn't fathom spending the next sixty or so years listening to them prattle on about their meaningless lives. One thing I had realized in the past month is that I hated being moroi; in fact, I think I actually hated moroi. Not all of them of course, but the vast majority. I didn't need the fancy house, I didn't want all the money, I had no desire to be royal and I hated being treated like I was fragile. I had thought that once I was a guardian that Dimitri would see me as his equal and he had for a few short weeks and now, now he would never see me that way. He would always see me as a damsel in distress, someone he had to protect because I was weak. He would never see the real me again and that made me so miserably unhappy. I knew that it wasn't my purpose in life to be happy and that I was here simply to pull the darkness from Lissa, but I couldn't help but wonder why after all I'd given up, why couldn't I have some semblance of happiness? Why wasn't I allowed to have love?

"Are you thinking about your family?" Lissa asked as Ambrose led us into a private suite. I nodded. After all, Dimitri was my family.

"You miss them huh?" she asked quietly as we took our seats next to each other.

"I do, more than anything. I hate that they will never see me again," I said a tear making its way down my cheek.

"I know sweetie, it's awful, but I can promise you, it does get better. In time you'll learn to appreciate the good memories you have of them and the pain will fade. It will never leave you completely, but you'll find new happiness." I could tell through the bond that she really felt that way. I allowed her to wrap her arms around me as I broke down holding onto her for dear life. It felt so good to have physical contact with someone I loved. I was doubtful that it would get easier for me seeing is that I was able to see my family and friends whenever I wanted, only they couldn't see me. It wasn't exactly the same thing.

"Sorry to interrupt your majesty, princess, but what color would you like?" Ambrose asked holding out a tray of polish for us to choose from.

"What color is your dress for tonight?" Lissa asked as she selected a pale pink polish.

"Uh, I'm not sure," I said.

"You do have one don't you?" she asked horrified at the thought that I might not have anything to wear.

I nodded. "I do, I just haven't decided which one I want to wear yet," I said trying to sound confident.

In truth, I hadn't the foggiest idea of what I was going to wear. I had perused her ball gown collection for a few minutes a couple of weeks ago and all I could think was who the hell would wear any of those poufy obnoxious contraptions? The discomfort level was enough to make me squirm around in all that itchy lace and tulle.

"I'll take that one," I said pointing to a particularly fetching shade of red. Beside me Lissa stifled a sob.

_That was the one Rose always chose when we were having a girly night at St. Vladimir's _she thought sadly. I could tell she felt guilty for being here with me or well the new me. She felt like she was cheating on the old me by trying to be friends with the new me.

"So you and Dimitri seem to be getting along pretty well," she said as we lay face down on the massage tables with two masseurs working on us. Ah, so that's her ulterior motive for getting me alone. She was worried about Dimitri.

I sighed. "He's okay," I said not elaborating.

"He's really a nice guy once you get to know him and he needs a friend right now. He spends a lot of time alone and it isn't good for him. It isn't good for you to be alone either. I figured the two of you might be able to get through your grief together. He's been through a lot. He lost someone he loved last year," she said softly awaiting my reaction.

I nodded. "I heard about your friend. I'm sorry," I told her. Pain flowed through her as she thought of me, but she pushed through it.

"You remind me a bit of her," she said.

"I do?" I asked trying to play dumb.

"Sure, I mean she was a guardian, but she had such a strong will just like you."

"Thanks, I think," I told her not knowing whether or not that was a compliment.

"Dimitri says you like to spend time in the gym."

"I don't want to be helpless," I stated firmly.

I could feel her lips curve up into a smile even though I couldn't see her.

"You should join Christian Ozera's defensive magic class. I think you'd like it."

I smirked a little. "I'll think about it."

"How can we be of service Princess?" a tall moroi woman asked as soon as I entered what was probably the most expensive shop at court.

"I need a gown for this evening," I told her.

"Of course. What color were you thinking of? Did you want pink like always?" she asked and I made a face.

"No, I was thinking either black or red," I said not wanting to show up in some poufy pink nightmare.

"What style? I just received a new shipment of ball gowns," she said excitedly.

"Actually I was looking for a simpler silhouette." She frowned, but showed me gown after gown and they were all hideous and so not my taste. If I was going to spend good money on a fancy dress, it would have to be something spectacular.

"What about that one over there?" I asked pointing to a simple satin gown on a mannequin. It was a deep shade of red, one shouldered with ruching that came to a form fitting point at the waist and flowed just slightly at the hip until it reached the ground.

Her eyes widened. "Are you sure you want to try that one? It isn't your usual style. It's much more form fitting," she said nervously.

"That's the one I want. I'm sure," I said. If people were going to stare at me, which they were, then I was going to give them something to stare at, especially Dimitri. I decided that instead of staying away from him, my new mission was to make him fall in love with me, the new me, however improbable that might seem.

DPOV

It was six thirty and I stood at the back of the ballroom in the palace. I wasn't officially on duty, but it was either protect the Princess and keep an eye on Lissa at the same time or stay in my room and think about how much I missed Rose. Lissa had already made her views on my seclusion quite clear and I was trying to take her advice. I'd taken to visiting my charge during the early mornings after we worked out together. She was a quick study and didn't seem to need tips on how to work out. It was her strength and coordination that needed work. I knew she felt helpless and I wanted to take that feeling away for her. In a way she reminded me a lot of Rose, in fact sometimes too much. They had the same bad eating habits, the same short temper and were both slobs. Sometimes the things she said to me were things she couldn't possibly know about and for a minute I'd have the feeling that Roza was here with me. It was silly and I knew it. In fact, it was sick. I was sick. I was using my charge as a replacement for Rose. It needed to stop, but I couldn't help myself. For some reason I felt good when I was with her. She agitated me to no end sometimes, but then she would do or say something that made me realize what a good heart she had and my anger would melt away.

I was hoping to get her to open up to me one of these days, but every time I tried bringing up the subject of her family or Andrew, she shut me down. It was too soon and I didn't want to badger her, but sooner or later she was going to have to take blood from a feeder again. It wasn't a huge deal for me to provide her with a pint of blood every other day, but if anyone found out there would be hell to pay. I would most likely get reprimanded and reassigned and I didn't want that to happen. Not to mention what she would think of me if she ever found out. I knew it was wrong, but she was afraid and after what happened with Walter, I knew she needed some time and if I was able to give her that by providing her with my blood a few times a week, then I was more than happy to do so.

The music started and the fanfare began so I turned my attention to the grand staircase and watched idly as Lissa was introduced along with a few dozen other royals. My jaw nearly hit the ground as I laid my eyes on Soraya. She was standing at the top of the staircase alone. No one was there to escort her and she looked anxious. What really shocked me though was her choice in attire. She looked absolutely stunning in her long red gown. It showed off her delicate décolletage and fit her slim figure like a glove. It was a far cry from what I had ever seen any other royal wear to one of these god-awful boring events. I hated to admit that my body was slightly turned on at the sight of her. Immediately I tore my eyes away from the stairs feeling ashamed that I'd just leered at my charge like she was a piece of meat. It felt like I was betraying Rose. I decided the best way to deal with this was to go into full on guardian mode and ignore her for the rest of the evening even if my traitorous body ached to be next to her.

JPOV

"Will you stop using so much Spirit? I'm going to snap one of these days with all the darkness you're exuding," I griped as I stood next to Adrian at the royal gala. For some reason he'd been using enormous amounts of spirit these past two weeks and I couldn't understand how or when? He must be dream walking with someone because I never felt him use it during the day. I knew he was concerned with the new Lazar Princess, but I couldn't put my finger on what he was so worried about. She had suffered a great loss and had gone a little wacky and dumped her boyfriend who was currently standing across the room drooling over her as he drowned his sorrows at the bar.

It was hardly worth the energy Adrian was putting into figuring out what was wrong with her. I supposed they were friends and he was concerned, but still, I found it odd that he was expending so much effort on her. I mean he was madly in love with Sydney so I knew he wasn't interested in her romantically.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying to figure out some things. I'll try to cut back," he said sipping his coke.

"Why are you drinking coke? I could really use something stronger," I complained. I was entirely on edge because of all his dream walking and I couldn't be seen drinking myself, but if he got a good buzz going, I could reap the benefits.

"I need to stay sober tonight," was all he said before walking away in the direction of Soraya Lazar. He stopped just a few feet shy of where she stood speaking with Abe Mazur and I couldn't help but wonder what his obsession with her was so I decided to pop into his head for a little look-see. I set down my drink and headed for a small secluded area behind the kitchen so I could be alone when I spaced out.

He was listening intently to their conversation, which seemed to be centered on defensive magic. I didn't really see how that was supposed to be interesting to Adrian, but as I took in her aura I realized what his fascination with her was. She was shadow kissed. She had died in that accident and someone, a spirit user had brought her back. How had I not been able to pick that from his brain? He was getting pretty good at blocking me out and that was annoying.

She spoke with Abe for a little while longer and then they both walked over towards the bar area. He handed her a drink and as she took a sip her eyes rested on the back of the room. I could see her aura flush bright red. She smiled and at first I had no idea who she was looking at after all there were only guardians back there, but then there it was in the back of Adrian's mind. He was wondering why her aura lit up so bright every time she was around Guardian Belikov. He then began to think of all the nights these past few weeks that he had been trying to get into Soraya's dreams, only he couldn't.

It was like she never slept or if she did, then he couldn't enter her dreams. That wasn't possible. There had never been anyone he couldn't dream walk, that is anyone who was alive. The wheels in his head were turning like mad and he couldn't figure out why he couldn't find her in her dreams. If she had died and he was sure she , and someone had brought her back, then he should be able to find her, but he couldn't which meant that either his powers were waning or she hadn't really been brought back, but then if she hadn't who was in her body or was it an illusion? He thought back to the time he made the charms for Rose and Dimitri so no one would be able to identify them. That was very powerful spirit magic and he wanted to know who else besides him, Lissa and Sonya were capable of it. I pulled out of his head more confused than anything and with a killer headache.

"Screw it," I grumbled grabbing a flute of champagne off a passing tray downing it in one gulp and reaching for another. All his conspiracy theories were making my brain hurt. One thing was for sure, now that I knew something was up, I was definitely interested in finding out. After all, this new princess had close contact with my sister and I wasn't about to let anything bad happen to her.

**Uh oh! Not only is Adrian on her trail, but now Jill! What do you think of Rose's new attitude about Dimitri? Don't foget to vote in my poll on my home page=) **


	13. Chapter 12: Friends

Chapter 12: Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy

RPOV

"Princess, might I have a word?" Abe's gruff voice came from behind me. So far this evening had consisted of Andrew making puppy eyes at me from where he sat at the bar and Dimitri was effectively ignoring me. I'd seen a glimpse of lust in his eyes as I walked down the stairs, but he'd quickly replaced it with indifference as he put up his guardian mask. I was slightly jealous that he was physically attracted to this body. That meant he was getting over me and it made me sad, but it was necessary if I was going to get him to fall for the new me. I kept reminding myself that even though my body was different, my personality was mostly the same and that if and when he did fall in love with Soraya, it would be because his soul and mine were meant to be.

"It's good to see you Uncle Abe," I said allowing him to kiss my cheek.

"You seem to be holding up under the circumstances," he mused corralling me over to the bar and ordering me a drink.

"I'm doing my best," I replied downing it quickly. I really needed a good buzz. Contemptuousness and pride were permeating the air and I was trying desperately not to punch anyone in the face for their arrogant comments. It was as if they came together just to bash the dhamphirs.

"So I hear you've been having private magic lessons," he said winking at me.

"You heard from who?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

"I have my sources," he said not elaborating. "You know I believe that we could be of some use to each other. I myself have been learning to harness my own fire magic for several years now. If you'd like to have a few lessons from someone with more experience than the Ozera boy, you know where to find me," he said slipping a business card out of his pocket and into my hand before slinking away.

"My father the Zmey," I muttered tucking the card into my clutch.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur, mostly due to the fact that I had imbibed two more drinks after the one Abe bought me and I was feeling quite a buzz. I was on my way to the ladies room when someone called my name.

"Raya, wait up!" It was Andrew. I so did not have the energy to deal with him right now.

"What is it Andrew?" I asked trying to be polite.

"You look good in that dress," he said his eyes perusing my body intrusively.

"Thanks," I said trying to walk away, but he caught my arm.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to dance?" he asked looking rather sheepish. The hopeful look in his eyes tore at my heart strings.

"I wasn't planning on dancing this evening," I said trying to brush him off without making a scene.

"I just thought that you know, we've been apart for weeks now. I miss you Raya," he said pulling me closer to him. He used one hand to brush a stray strand of my hair out of my face. I remembered the first time Dimitri touched me that way and how it sent shivers up my spine. Andrew's touch didn't inspire anything in me other than wanting to escape an awkward situation.

"I know you do Andrew, but like you said it's only been a few weeks," I said pulling gently out of his grasp.

He sighed dropping his hands to his side. "It's like you're a different person," he said shaking his head sadly.

"What do you mean?" I asked hoping he wasn't on to the fact that I wasn't really her.

"You're secretive, you're always at the gym working out, your taste in food has changed, you're snippier than you used to be and you would never have bought a dress like that one," he snorted. I inhaled sharply. He was close to figuring out that I wasn't Soraya and I wasn't sure how to convince him otherwise.

"I heard what happened with Walter at the feeders, you even spelled your name wrong on the form. Combine all of that with the fact that you aren't devastated by your family's deaths and then you break up with me after we've been together since we were kids. Something isn't right. I know you and this isn't you!" he said gesturing towards my attire.

"Maybe it's the new me," I argued hoping to steer him away from asking anymore questions.

He shook his head. "No, I know what it is. I've spent these past few weeks putting the pieces of the puzzle together and I know what happened. It's okay, you can tell me," he said coming closer taking my hands in his as he looked pleadingly into my eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said firmly tearing my eyes away from his, disentangling my hands and attempting to leave.

"Don't walk away from me Raya, I can help you."

"Help me with what?" I cried spinning around to face him.

"I can help you remember. I know everything about you."

"Help me remember?" I asked raising my eyebrow at him.

"You have amnesia," he stated. "That is why you've been acting like this. You're too afraid to admit that when you woke up after the attack that you don't remember who you are. I want to help you," he said taking a step closer again.

"Amnesia?" I repeated dumbly. I sighed in relief when I realized that if he thought I had amnesia, then he wasn't even close to figuring out my real secret.

"Look, we can go to the clinic and they can give you a cat-scan and they can fix you. I know I can help you remember," he said desperately clinging to the notion that if he just told me enough about my past that I'd suddenly remember and become the girl he loved again.

I sighed. "Look Andrew, say you're right and I do have amnesia. Did you ever think that maybe I don't want to remember?" I asked.

"What?" he asked shocked. "Why wouldn't you want to remember?" I was getting agitated now and I had been using what little self-control I could muster to try to stay calm, but that was waning quickly as were my patients.

"Uh, I don't know?" I shouted. Maybe because my entire family was killed in a brutal strigoi attack! Maybe because I don't want to be a moroi princess! Maybe because I don't remember a single thing about myself, what I like, what I don't like, who I care about…," I trailed off my chest heaving. "Maybe it's because it's easier to start over than to deal with what I've lost," I whispered a tear slowly trickling down my cheek. I wondered if that wasn't something I should try given my situation. Maybe I should just go far away and try to forget about the ones I loved. It was so hard to be here with them day in and day out without them knowing who I was. I wished I truly did have amnesia. It would ease the pain I felt every time I thought about what I'd lost. I could take Lissa's darkness from anywhere. Why was I staying here torturing myself?

"I know it's hard, Raya, but you have to remember. You have to grieve them properly. I love you. I'm so in love with you. Don't you want to feel that love again?" he implored.

I shook my head. "No, yes, I don't know. I'm so confused right now. Please just keep this to yourself. I don't need anyone else finding out. I have enough to deal with right now. Just let me be. If I remember, I will come back to you, if I don't, then it isn't meant to be. Please believe that and let me go. If you truly love me you wouldn't want me to be in pain," I said beseeching him to go along with me.

"I can't let you go Raya. You're everything to me," he argued. I had always wondered what it was like to be loved so completely by another person. Soraya was lucky to have found that love before she died. I knew without a doubt that Dimitri loved me, but we had such a short time together and there were so many things about each other that we didn't get the time to find out. I wondered if he knew who I was, would he fight to be with me? I'd like to think he would, but I couldn't be sure. Earlier he had been attracted to my new body. Did that mean he was getting over me? I didn't know what I wanted, I just needed some time to think. Everything was just so overwhelming right now. If Andrew loved Soraya enough to know that I wasn't her, then shouldn't Dimitri have loved me enough to recognize my soul? If he didn't, then did that mean our love wasn't as strong as Andrew and Soraya's?

"Please, I just need time," I begged fleeing into the safety of the women's toilets to get away from him.

DPOV

It was getting late and the gala was winding down. I realized I hadn't seen my charge in over an hour. It made me wonder where she'd run off to.

"Has anyone seen the Lazar Princess?" I asked through my head set trying to see if anyone had eyes on her.

"I saw her arguing with Lord Andrew Badica about twenty minutes ago near the ladies room," Guardian Sorel's voice came across the line. I left my post and headed in that direction. I found Lord Badica pacing outside the door to the women's lavatory. He looked up when he heard me approach.

"If you're looking for Soraya, she's in there," he said pointing to the door. "She's upset and won't come out. Maybe you'll have better luck than me. She's locked the door," he said looking distraught.

"Why don't you go back to your apartment and rest? I will make sure she gets home," I told him.

He nodded. "Take care of her. She needs someone," he stated before taking his leave.

I knocked lightly on the door.

"Princess, are you in there?" I called. There was no answer. I tried several more times even ringing her cell phone to see if she would pick up, but it was futile. She wasn't coming out, which meant I was going in.

I found a paper clip and a nail file lying in a desk drawer in an empty room and it took me only a few minutes to pick the lock. I was damn good at it. I entered cautiously in case she was indecent. She was sitting on a small bench facing away from me.

"What do you want?" she snapped without turning around. Maybe she was being so hostile because she thought I was Lord Badica.

"I am here to escort you home," I said.

"I don't need a babysitter," she lashed out.

"How about a friend?" I asked pulling up a bench beside her. I knew I was treading in dangerous territory by being unprofessional and getting close to her, but I had already crossed that line the first time I gave her my blood.

"Why would you want to be my friend?" she sniffled and it was then I realized she had been crying.

I shrugged. "I don't have many friends. In fact, unless you count Queen Vasilissa, I have none," I told her quite honestly.

She turned to face me. Her make-up was smeared and her eyes were puffy. Her hair had come undone form it's updo and her lips were chapped and raw. She was so vulnerable right now that all I could do was pull her into my arms. She didn't flinch like I thought she would have instead she surrendered herself to her emotions sobbing uncontrollably as I held her.

"I miss everyone so much," she whimpered clinging to me for dear life.

"I know you do," I said stroking her hair gently, rubbing calming circles on her bare back. She continued to weep for a while and slowly her ragged sobs slowed and finally ceased.

"Do you miss her?" she asked pulling away from me, wiping her tearstained face with the backs of her hands.

"Not a moment goes by that my heart doesn't ache to hold her in my arms," I confessed letting down my wall for the first time in a long time.

"You loved her?" she queried.

"More that she ever knew," I replied haunted by memories of all the times I'd pushed her away.

"I'm sure she knew," she said trying to reassure me.

"I wasted so much of my time with her being stubborn," I lamented. "Are you sure you're done with Lord Badica?" I asked not wanting her to make the same mistake that I had.

She nodded. "He and I, we don't fit anymore. I'm a different person. He doesn't understand me anymore," she said. "I know I hurt him, but it just isn't meant to be. Love fades."

My heart tore in two at her words.

"Mine never did," I choked out holding back so much emotion.

"I may have said it, but I didn't mean it." I knew I was rambling at this point, but I didn't care. I needed to let it out. The look on my Roza's face that day in the church was burned into my memory. I had hurt her so much with those four words. I never thought I had the capability to break someone, but that day I did. I had shattered her heart so much that she let Ivashkov bite her. The thought of his fangs on her neck was enough to make me want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze the life out of him every time I had to see his smug face. Working with him and Sonya this past year against the warriors had been tough.

"Are you ready to go home?" I asked holding out my hand.

She nodded.

"Does it ever get easier?" she asked as we reached the door to her apartment.

I shook my head. "I'd like to tell you that my heart has healed, but for me the pain is just as unbearable today as it was the first day."

She nodded. "She would have wanted you to be happy," she stated.

"I know she would have, but I'm just not there." With that I left her to herself and headed home to my cold lonely bed.

Wow if you weren't crying during this chapter, then you're heart is made of stone=) LOL J/K!

Next chapter someone is going to figure out her secret. Who will it be? Last chance to vote in my poll! Did anyone thing Andrew had figured it out while they were reading this chapter? Do you think Dimitri will open his heart up completely to her?


	14. Chapter 13: Dreaming of You

**Chapter 13: Dreaming of You**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**So as of yesterday when I checked my poll only one person guessed right on who would figure out her secret first. Whoever you were congrats! I am posting this early for all of your lovely eyes to read. Happy Friday!**

APOV

"You still can't find her?" Sydney asked looking down at me as she hovered over the bed.

I shook my head in negation. "You did make sure she was asleep didn't you?" I asked.

She nodded. "I used my invisibility spell and snuck into her apartment. She's out like a light."

"Well then I don't know what could be wrong. I have never had any trouble accessing someone's dreams before," I said sitting up in exasperation. It was driving me crazy not knowing why my abilities were screwed up when it came to her.

"Well you did say that she's shadow kissed so maybe that has something to do with it," she suggested.

I shook my head. "No, I can find Jill easily and I used to be able to find Rose whenever I wanted…" I trailed off waiting for her reaction.

She inhaled sharply, but didn't comment. I knew it still bothered her that Rose and I had never technically ended our relationship. I tried to assure her that even if she had survived, we would have broken it off. I was pretty sure from the last time I dream walked her and the way her aura was glowing that she and Belikov had reconnected physically. I had all but caught them all over each other before we re-entered court. It pained me that she would cheat on me like that, but I couldn't be angry at her because she wasn't here to defend herself. My heart had been broken, but had healed over time and mended so I could fall head over heels in love with Sydney.

"So let's do a locator spell. That will tell for sure whether or not she's actually in there," she said grabbing her bag that contained her alchemist stuff as well as all of her new magical ingredients and spell books. She sure had become more at ease with using the evil magic she used to be so afraid of. I remember the time we all went mini golfing in Palm Springs and Jill had used her water magic. Sydney nearly had a heart attack. She was shaking like a leaf. Now after all we'd been through, she was far more comfortable around us evil creatures.

I shrugged and joined her on the floor. I could use all the help I could get at this point.

She spread her things out including a map of the world, measuring ingredients with accuracy and precision and then began to chant as she dangled a small crystal above the map. She continued to concentrate chanting faster and faster until she finally ceased.

"It didn't work," I assumed disappointed.

"Oh it worked. She's just not on Earth," she said looking me in the eye.

"If she's not on Earth, then who the hell is in her body?" I asked.

"Some guardian I would guess," she said cleaning up her things.

"Why would you guess that?" I asked.

"Well let's look at the facts. She works out like a fiend. She runs when it is light out. She detests drinking blood, is practicing defensive magic and she eats like a horse. You do the math. If I had to put my finger on it, I'd say not only is she a dhampir guardian, but a male one at that. Did you see how much she ate at the gala earlier?"

The wheels in my head were turning. Soraya Lazar was dead or at least I was pretty sure she was dead. She had died and her body was brought back, but her soul wasn't on Earth. The things Sydney had pointed out led me to believe she was right about a guardian inhabiting her body, but how?

"Do you think it was Guardian Shay?" I asked. He was her guardian and had been killed in the battle.

Sydney shrugged going to tend to Hopper as he had begun to screech in the little bed we'd made for him.

"There's some chocolate cream pie in the fridge," I told her.

"Something doesn't fit," I mused. "All the other things do. The aversion to blood, the monstrous appetite, the working out, but one thing is amiss," I stated running my hand through my hair.

"And what would that be?" she asked as she brought Hopper over to the table so he could eat properly off a paper plate.

"Her aura goes crazy red with adoration when she's around Belikov. I hardly doubt Guardian Shay is in love with him."

"You never told me that," she said her eyes widening.

"Does it make a difference? All of this is just too bizarre. It's making my head hurt." I needed a drink in the worst way.

"It makes all the difference. Hold on a second," she said handing Hopper over to me while she rustled in her bag again.

"What are you doing?" I asked as she set her things up just the way she had before.

She didn't answer, but this time as she chanted the crystal began to move. It flew out of her hand and stabbed itself into the map and into the floor board making a loud cracking noise.

"What the hell?" I cried. "Who were you looking for?" I asked clutching a very frightened dragon to my chest. Poor little guy did not like that loud noise especially if danger was not eminent.

"You mean who did I find?" she asked her eyes wide with amazement.

"Okay who did you find?" I asked amending my question.

"Someone who isn't supposed to be here. Someone who eats like a horse, works out like a fiend, was a guardian and is head over heels in love with Dimitri Belikov."

"Rose!" I gasped sinking down on the bed.

"Is that even possible?" she asked after the shock wore off a little.

I shrugged. "How would I know?"

"There's one way to find out," she said.

"How? You want me to just walk up to her and be like hey are you my dead ex-girlfriend? I'm sure that will go over well."

She rolled her eyes. "No, you could try to dream walk her and if you find her, then make her explain. She's more likely to tell you the truth in a dream and if it isn't her then she'll think it was a dream and you won't embarrass yourself."

"This is ridiculous, you know that? Anyone who heard this conversation would think we're insane."

"People already think you're insane," she said smirking. I shot her a withering look. "Here goes nothing," I said lying down on the bed. She dimmed the lights and I let my mind drift to Rose.

RPOV

My heart pounded as Dimitri walked me home from the gala. He had opened up to me and I knew his earlier attraction to my new body hadn't been because he was over me. He was still grieving, but hey, he was a guy and I was wearing a slinky dress. I couldn't blame him. I was conflicted as to how I would feel if he ever did stop grieving, but if he didn't, then there was zero chance for us. I wished my mind would stop warring with itself.

"Goodnight Princess," he said leaving me at my door.

"Goodnight Dimitri, and please call me Soraya. If we're going to be friends I can't have you calling me Princess," I said.

He nodded. "Goodnight Soraya," he said and I was entirely jealous at the sound of her name rolling off his tongue. Tears sprung to my eyes as I realized that even if we did end up together, which was still highly unlikely, I would never hear him call me Roza again.

I lay down on my very comfortable queen sized bed and cried myself to sleep still wearing my party dress. It wasn't long before I found myself shivering in the cold winter air surrounded by snowy mountains and blowing snow. I recognized the porch of the ski lodge I'd been to nearly two years ago with St. Vladimir's. The question was why would I dream of it now after all this time?

I dusted layers of snow off the porch swing and took a seat.

"Little Dhampir you're a sight for sore eyes." My head whipped around and I saw Adrian standing in the snow not ten feet from where I was sitting gaping at me in awe.

My jaw dropped and I was left speechless. Could he see me as I truly am or was he seeing Soraya? Wait didn't he call me Little Dhampir? This had to be a dream. There was no way he was really here.

"What have I told you about dream stalking?" I asked trying to fake annoyance. In truth, I was dying for this to be real and that he could see me for who I was, but that was unlikely.

"Do it early and often," he said cockily strutting towards me until he was right in front of me.

"How is this possible?" he asked reaching out to touch me as if I were an apparition, which I supposed I was.

"Is this real?" I asked nervously.

"What do you mean is this real? You're supposed to be dead and you're asking me if this is real?" he laughed.

"You can see me, the real me?" I gulped.

"You're as beautiful as you ever were Little Dhampir," he said turning me to face the mirror he'd conjured. I gasped seeing myself for the first time since I'd been sent back.

"My hair," I cried fingering my long dark locks. Tears formed in my eyes. "I never thought I'd see myself again," I whispered.

"You and me both. Now explain to me what is going on. How did you end up in her body? Are you really Rose?" he questioned eying me skeptically.

My heart leapt in my throat. Mason's warning flashed through my head.

"I can't. They'll hear me," I cried looking around waiting to burst into flames at any moment.

He shook his head. "Remember this is happening in your subconscious. No one will know what we talk about, but us," he reassured me.

I shook my head backing away from him in fear. "I can't," I said, the urge to run from him overwhelming me.

"Rose please," he said grabbing my arm.

"They'll send me back," I whispered biting my lip nervously.

"Okay, what if you don't say anything. What if I say what I think and you just don't disagree with me? Would that be okay?" he asked.

I couldn't get into trouble if I didn't say anything. All they said was that I couldn't tell anyone. If they figured it out on their own, that wasn't my fault, I rationalized. I took a deep breath before nodding in agreement.

He changed the scenery so that we were back at St. Vladimir's, a place of comfort for me. We sat down on a bench in the courtyard.

"Soraya Lazar is dead," he started. I didn't say anything. "When she died, someone put your soul into her body and healed it. You're still bonded to Lissa. Someone threatened that if you told anyone who you were, they'd send you back," he finished looking at me closely trying to gage my reaction.

"How did you figure it out?" I asked finally breaking the silence.

"Well for starters you aren't very good at being moroi," he said smirking at me.

"Well if you're going to insult me," I said crossing my arms.

"It's a compliment," he stated. "You don't have it in you to be petty and snotty and obsessed with money and power."

"Besides it wasn't just that," he said.

"What else gave it away?"

"Your aura. I can still see the shadows amongst other things," he growled.

"Other things?" I gulped knowing he was referring to Dimitri.

"Your aura when you're around Belikov," he said confirming my suspicions.

"I'm sorry," I said hanging my head in shame.

He shrugged. "Why? You gave me a chance and I wasn't him. I'm over it."

"I know," I said smiling at him like the cat that ate the canary.

He raised his eyebrow at me. "Oh, you noticed that huh?" he said grinning sheepishly.

"Lissa might suck at auras, but yours is pretty hard to miss when you're ogling Sydney," I teased. "So what's up with that?" I asked being curious.

He shrugged. "What's up with what?" he asked.

"You know what I'm talking about. You know my secret, now spill," I demanded. "I might be weaker than I was before, but I'm betting I'm still stronger than you and fire is an active power."

"Okay okay, no need to threaten violence," he said putting his hands up in surrender.

"I'm in love with your alchemist friend okay?" he said.

"What is it with you and unattainable girls?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Glutton for punishment?"

"Right, well good luck with that," I said.

"Oh I've had good luck," he said waggling his eyebrows at me.

"Nu uh? No way," I said not believing what he was implying.

"She loves me too," he beamed. "You can't tell anyone," he said suddenly.

"Who am I going to tell? It's not like I have any friends," I snorted.

"Not true, you have me and Sydney and well I guess Jill because well you know," he said.

"Yea, how did that happen?" I inquired.

"Long story. Besides, you have Belikov."

I shook my head. "Yea right. He's my guardian. How freaking stupid is that? I mean seriously. I beat him in a fight to the death when he was strigoi and now he's protecting me. He will never love me like this. Life is cruel."

"Life is cruel, but you're wrong. I've seen it. His soul recognizes yours. His body and mind might not have a clue, but it's there, believe me," he said.

"It doesn't matter. He won't get involved with his charge, especially a princess."

"Want me to clue him in?" he asked.

"What no!" I cried jumping to my feet. "They'll send me back!"

"So you're just going to live the rest of your life as Soraya Lazar?" he asked skeptically.

I nodded. "The new and improved Soraya Lazar," I corrected him.

"So I see. What about Andrew? Poor bastard isn't going to let this go. Those two were made for each other even more so than you and Belikov.

I sighed. "I don't mean to keep hurting him, but I can't just pick up where she left off. It would be wrong and gross and well you know," I said sticking out my tongue.

"I suppose you're right. You're not even going to tell Lissa?"

"I can't. I want to every day. You don't know how hard it's been being around her and Dimitri without spilling the beans. I want to be with them both so bad, but I know I can't and it blows!"

"I'm sorry Little Dhampir. I really am. You know I wanted to heal you that day, so did Lissa, but they dragged us away for our own safety," he said using air quotes around the word safety.

"I know. I was watching when you came to see my body," I said.

"You saw that huh?" he asked embarrassed. I shrugged. "Not like I had anything better to do."

"So where were you all this time or can't you say?"

"Cat's out of the bag, I might as well. You're the only person I've been able to talk to about this and it's been eating me up inside." I explained to him all about the place where I was. There wasn't much to tell.

"So I heard you had a little trouble with the feeders," he said always being one to bring up an uncomfortable topic.

"I almost killed Walter. It's disgusting, but my body craves it. I didn't know how to stop," I said feeling ashamed.

"How are you getting your blood?" he asked.

"Dimitri brings me a blood bag every other day. He has an in at the clinic," I said.

"An in?" he asked. I nodded. "He knows someone."

"I'll bet he does," he muttered under his breath.

"I'm so sorry you're going through this, but let me tell you, I am so glad you are back," he said wrapping his arms around me in a warm hug. It felt so good to be held by someone who knew who I was. The isolation I'd been feeling these past few weeks was intense.

"So you live in Palm Springs now?" I asked.

"Yep, let me tell you all about it," he said launching into a long story about strigoi and magic and witches that was nearly as unbelievable as me being alive.

"You know I wasn't the one to figure out it was you in there," he said.

"Really? Was it Jill?" I asked. He shook his head.

"It was Sydney. I knew something was off, but it was her that suggested that it was you inside there."

"Score one for the alchemist," I said laughing a little. I think it was the first time I'd truly laughed since I'd been back. "Who would have thought that Sydney Sage would be a rule breaker?"

"I was counting on it," he replied. I could see him getting tired from using so much spirit to keep us here and I knew it was time to get serious.

"So now that you know, you have to swear that none of you are going to blow it in front of Lissa or Dimitri or anyone," I warned.

"I still think you should let me tell them, but it's your life Little Dhampir. I won't tell you what to do. Just promise you won't be a stranger anymore," he said.

"I promise," I said hugging him again.

**Uh oh! Who guesses Sydney? You know she's the smart one right? So now three people know who she is. Do you think one of them will blow it? If so which one? A lot of people were upset that Dimitri was physical attracted to Soraya. Remember 3 things. One, Dimitri is a guy. Most guys will be attracted to a beautiful woman even if they are attached. They just wouldn't act on it. Two, people become more physically attractive when there is an intense emotional bond and three have I ever steered you wrong? Don't worry so much it will give you wrinkles. Speaking of which, who things that it's weird that Kirova is so young? I always imagined her as someone old and knarled up like McGonagal from Harry Potter. **


	15. Chapter14: How to Date Your Guardian 101

**Chapter 14: How to Date your Guardian 101**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**I was so disappointed this weekend. Richelle Mead was in Chicago not 40 minutes from my house doing a book signing and a Fiery Heart reading. I wanted to go so bad. Unfortunately a pipe in our garage burst and I spent my Sunday waiting for an emergency plumber=( Oh well, maybe next time. Happy Early Update again! I usually only update once a week, but I have been motivated this week. Not sure why. The ideas just keep coming. 4000 words all for you!**

RPOV

"Soraya! Soraya wait up!" I was on my way to meet Christian at our spot in the woods, when I heard Jill calling to me from across the royal court. I could only assume that she had figured out who I was through her bond with Adrian. I only hoped she would be able to keep her mouth shut about the whole thing. All I needed was for Lissa to find out and my entire cover would be blown. Everyone knew she was the worst at keeping secrets. I wondered if she was better at it now that she was queen.

"Oh my God! I thought I'd never catch up with you. You walk fast," she said trying to catch her breath.

"Hey Jill, what's up?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me? What do you mean what's up?" she cried throwing her arms around me in a giant bear hug.

"Whoa, let's not get carried away in public," I said pulling her into the woods so we were obscured by the cover of the vegetation.

"I know I know, I promised Adrian when he came into my dreams last night that I wouldn't speak about what he told me, but I just had to hug you," she exclaimed joyfully.

"Okay then, why are you here?" I asked trying not to sound as nervous as I was. I was just waiting for the Powers that Be to get wind that someone knew and drag me back without warning.

"Oh, that- well I know that you have a thing for Guardian Belikov," she said winking. "And I have the perfect solution to your problem."

"What would that be?" I asked continuing to walk towards the old church. I wanted to tell her I had more than a thing for Dimitri. I was over the moon in love with him, but she already knew that I supposed.

"You want him to see you as more than just his charge right?" she asked.

I nodded. "Well, then you have to get away from court for a while. Do something normal, something date like," she said winking.

"Date like?" I asked snorting. Dimitri and I had never done anything remotely date like even when I was alive.

"Well sure. How is he going to fall madly in love with you if you never go on a date silly?"

I raised my eyebrow at her. "So you think I should just ask Dimitri out on a date and he's going to what fall into my arms and profess his undying love for me?"

She shot me a look that said she did not appreciate my sarcasm.

"Well how did you, I mean how did Rose," she said winking again. "Get him to fall in love with her?"

I shrugged. "Not by going on dates."

"Never?" she asked.

"They were guardians. There wasn't time for that sort of thing, besides she was his student, remember?" It was sad that speaking about myself in the third person had become almost natural.

"Oh yea, so well what did they do together?" I thought for a moment, but nothing special came to mind. It wasn't about what we did together. It was how we felt when we were together.

"Trained in the gym, cleaned out the church attic, made out when no one was looking. You know the usual," I rattled off hoping she'd drop the subject.

"That doesn't sound usual to me. When I was dating Lee," she said, a far off look in her eyes. "He used to take me mini-golfing and to restaurants and stuff. It was romantic, well except for the whole strigoi thing and wanting to make me his vampire bride. That was a big turn off."

"You don't say," I said rolling my eyes.

"What are you doing all the way out here anyway?" she asked nearly tripping over a tree root as we trampled through the forest.

"If you must know, Christian and I are practicing our fire magic," I told her. Her eyes lit up. "You can't tell anyone," I warned.

"Oh no, I won't. Can I play too?" she asked.

"We aren't playing. This is serious Jill. I need to learn how to protect myself and your sister," I hissed.

She laughed a little. "That's a nice thought, but you know you have a guardian now and Lissa has like a hundred."

"It didn't stop you from getting killed did it?" I asked harshly.

She shook her head. "I guess not," she stuttered.

"Look, if you want to practice with us, that's fine, but this isn't a game."

"I'll take it seriously I promise," she said crossing her heart.

"And no telling Lissa or Dimitri," I said.

She nodded eagerly. "Does Christian know about your unique situation?" she asked as we approached the area.

I shook my head in negation.

"My lips are sealed," she said. I hoped she meant it.

After our session was over, I was feeling pretty good about my magical abilities. I was able to conjure a fire ball and hold it in my hand for almost a minute. I had gained enough control to hit a target that wasn't moving and if I thought about fire long enough I could light a candle and a small campfire without the use of my hands. I was surprised at the control Jill had over her water magic. Of course she had the advantage of knowing exactly what triggered her powers and having practiced it in magic classes for the past three years. She was able to put out my fires deftly using water she drew from the ground and even from a small stream that was nearly a mile away. It was amazing.

"So Sparky, what do you say to a practicing with someone slightly more experienced than you next time around?" I asked.

"Who?" he asked, probably never having heard of another moroi using offensive magic besides him, Tasha and Mia.

"Just show up here on Friday at sundown and you'll see," I said.

He shrugged. "I suppose it couldn't hurt."

"Oooh can I come?" Jill asked.

"I suppose, but you need to make sure you aren't followed. I don't need Eddie catching onto this whole thing and getting all overprotective," I said.

She laughed. "Don't worry about Eddie, I will send him to get something for me that I can't live without. He'll be gone all day."

"He really loves you doesn't he?" I mused.

"What? No, he doesn't. Maybe he used to, but then he was with Angeline and well I don't know. He hasn't said anything recently."

"I know Eddie- and the way he looks at you, he's definitely interested," I said this time winking at her.

She blushed profusely as she skipped along beside me.

"So you're really not going to talk to Lissa about any of this," she asked referring to my "situation".

"No can do," I said sort of happy to have her company. It was nice being able to be myself around someone for a change, well almost myself.

"Okay so say I play along with this little charade of going somewhere date like. Where would we go and how would it not look suspicious. And how am I going to force Dimitri to go on this said date?" It's not like he was just going to agree to it.

"Leave it to me," she said her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I have a plan. Where are you headed?" she asked.

"To the gym to train with Dimitri," I said feeling happy at the thought of seeing him.

"Okay perfect. Just do that and I will find you in a bit. Just go with whatever I say," she said.

"You're running the show," I told her, heading over to the gym. Dimitri was already there taking out his frustrations quite violently on one of the practice dummies.

"Whoa there, you know it's just a dummy," I teased as he nearly sent it flying across the room.

He looked up at me, but didn't smile. His eighties music was blaring from the speakers and I hated to admit that it was comforting and familiar. We worked out in silence for a while and I could tell by the aggressive manner in which he was slamming down the weights, that something was bothering him. I was about to ask him about it, when he decided it was time to run.

"So what do you say about teaching me to fight?" I asked as we ran along the track.

"You don't need to fight, just run and I will take care of the fighting should the need arise," he stated in his no nonsense mentor voice.

"But I want to learn to fight," I insisted.

"I can't fight with you," he responded picking up the pace a little probably thinking he could ditch me without making it look obvious. I forced myself to speed up as well and managed to keep up with him somehow.

"Why the hell not?" I demanded.

"You're a Princess," he stated.

"So what?"

"So, I'm not permitted to hit a royal."

"I would be giving you permission. We would be fighting. It's not like assault or anything. What are you afraid I'd tell someone?"

"No, I'm afraid I'd kill you," he said gruffly, stopping dead in his tracks.

"That wouldn't happen. I've been getting a lot stronger and you wouldn't have to use full force at first. I could work my way up to that," I said hoping he would change his mind.

"You are a moroi and a female at that. Even with the best training money can buy you will never survive against a strigoi attack. You need to understand that. I don't need you being reckless and putting yourself in danger. It is my job to keep you safe. Just let me do it!" he nearly bellowed at me.

I reeled back as if he had slapped me in the face. He had zero confidence that I would ever be able to fight for real. I was beginning to realize that a major component of our old relationship would always be missing. Dimitri would never see me as his equal. No matter how hard I trained or how well I was able to use my fire magic, he would always see me as a weak, royal moroi, a damsel in distress. That just wasn't who I was. Would I be able to submit to being inferior to him for the rest of our lives? I didn't think I could. I had waited so long to be treated as his equal only to be tossed back into a body that would always need protecting.

"I'm sorry," he said probably thinking he had offended me by yelling. It wasn't so much the yelling that bothered me, it was his words.

"You are doing very well and your running time has improved immensely. I don't mean to be harsh, but when push comes to shove I am responsible for your life and I promise you, I will do my best to never let anything bad happen to you ever again. I realized that the haunted look in his eyes and the words he just said was not meant for Soraya. It was about me, Rose. He was still not over the fact that he couldn't save me. I held back my emotions and pushed forward with our workout even though I was heavily exhausted from all of the magic I'd expelled earlier.

"You're right, I understand. Thank you for pointing it out to me," I said in a robotic tone. I was not about to start a fight with him when I knew the guilt was eating him alive. Half an hour later after we'd finished running, Jill and Eddie entered the gym.

"Guardian Belikov, Princess Lazar," he greeted us, me with a slight bow to which Jill suppressed a giggle.

"Guardian Castile, Princess Jill," Dimitri greeted them back.

"Soraya, it's so good to see you," Jill said hugging me tightly again. "I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me on a trip to the zoo tomorrow," she said. "We would be leaving at nine in the evening so we could be there in the daylight hours. I know how much you love animals," she added. "The weather is so nice and I think we deserve a day away from the pressures of court. What do you say?"

My eyes widened. I so did not like animals, in fact, I quite despised them. Animals did not like dhamphirs very much and the feeling was mutual.

"That would be lovely thank you," I responded knowing this was her big date like destination even though I'd pretty much rather go anywhere than a zoo.

"Great, then it's settled. We'll all meet at the carport tomorrow at nine," she said smiling brightly.

I nodded as she and Eddie went on their way.

"I'm so sorry. It was rude of me not to ask if you are busy tomorrow before accepting," I said feigning concern. In reality, I knew he would go wherever I went without complaint, because that was the kind of man he was.

"My job is to guard you, wherever you are, and if you'd like to go out with friends, that are your right. You don't have to ask." His response was that of any guardian to their charge.

"Okay then," I said as we headed in opposite directions. Tears formed in my eyes. I hated how he was treating me. I wished he wasn't my guardian. This plan of Jill's was foolish. He would never see me as anything other than his charge. He had made that perfectly clear just minutes ago.

DPOV

I stood outside her door at eight-thirty the following day. I could kick myself for losing control of my temper with her yesterday. I hadn't seen her since I shouted at her like a buffoon. I was too embarrassed at my unprofessional behavior. It was unlike me to step out of bounds like that, but lately all I had been doing were inappropriate things.

It was refreshing that a moroi, especially a princess wanted to learn to defend and protect herself. Most royals were stuck up, had chips on their shoulders and treated guardians like second class citizens. I had a feeling from the comments I'd heard around court that this attitude she was sporting was new. Who could blame her after what had happened to her family. Incidents like that were bound to have a profound effect on a person. Some of the royal council members had been heard complaining about how she was ruining her reputation by insisting on equal rights for dhamphirs and also supporting the new defensive magic program.

I for one was proud of her for standing her ground. It couldn't have been easy for her. She was receiving a lot of flak for defending her position and she hadn't backed down. I admired her courage and her determination. It reminded me a lot of Rose. In fact, a lot of her behaviors, mannerisms and comments reminded me of Rose. I had a feeling that she wasn't as similar to Rose as I perceived her to be. My mind had been playing tricks on me ever since she came into my life. I could have sworn that a few weeks ago in the gym that she'd nearly called me Comrade. I of course wrote that thought off as delusional along with all the other strange things I'd thought I'd witnessed. I missed Rose in the worst way and my mind was projecting her personality on the person who I spent the most time with. In a way I liked it. It was as if some part of her remained with me at all times, but my rational mind told me that these delusions were not good for my mental health and I should avoid her as much as possible until I was able to distinguish a separate persona.

Of course I was glutton for punishment and couldn't keep myself away from her. Yesterday I'd been in a particularly foul mood after having dreamt of her after the gala. It wasn't her though or I was trying to pretend it wasn't. In my dream we were dancing, her in her red satin gown and me in my guardian uniform. I leaned down to kiss her, but when I pulled away and looked into her eyes, it wasn't her staring back at me, it was Rose. I had woken in a cold sweat and had gone down to the gym at three and started taking out my fury on the punching bags and then the dummies. I then proceeded to scream at her when she'd insisted that I teach her how to fight hand to hand combat.

I knew she was frightened and did not want to remain helpless, but the thought of her going up against a strigoi was ridiculous. Her body was not built to withstand the violent attacks that a guardian faced. Her best bet would be to run when I told her to and not look back. Her times had improved, but I still had serious doubts that she'd be able to outrun a strigoi. That is what I was for though. I was there to fight, kill or distract the threat so she had time to make it to safety. She was taking this crusade to protect herself a little too far. I was terrified that if we did run into strigoi she would do something reckless and get herself hurt or killed. Still, I shouldn't have berated her like that. It was harsh and she wasn't used to people treating her like that. I was surprised she hadn't gone straight to Lissa and had me fired for my behavior.

So here I stood ready to go on a trip to the zoo with her and Jill. I didn't even know the two of them were friends. I had brought her an extra chocolate donut as a peace offering along with her blood and hot cocoa.

I knocked, but there was no answer so I knocked again. When she didn't come to the door a second time, I called her cell.

"Dimitri," her weak voice came across the line.

"What is it? Are you hurt?"I asked my heart racing as I prepared to break down the door.

"Need blood," she moaned. That was all the incentive I needed to use my master key to break in.

"Where are you?" I called.

"Bathroom," she groaned.

I quickly rushed to the bathroom in the master bedroom and found her sprawled out across the floor, thankfully she was fully clothed. She looked weak, but otherwise unharmed.

"What happened?" I asked poking a hole in the bag and holding it to her lips.

"Too much exercise," she moaned draining the bag in seconds. I wished I had brought a second. She still looked incredibly pale even for a moroi. This wasn't the first time she'd overdone it at the gym, but I found it difficult to believe that it was the main cause of her fatigue. It was my guess that she had over exerted herself practicing her defensive magic and I was pretty sure who was to blame after I'd witnessed them speaking at the gala. I was going to have to have a little chat with Abe Mazur.

I helped her to her feet. "Are you sure you are up for going out?" I asked regarding her with worry.

"I'm fine," she assured me. "I just needed blood."

I nodded. She was right. Feeding every other day wasn't ideal especially being as active as she was. An older moroi who sat inside all day needed to feed only every second or third day to sustain life, but the way she worked out and ran combined with the magic I knew she was expelling ensured that she needed to feed at least once a day maybe more to keep up her strength. I just didn't know if I could afford to lose that much blood each day. One pint every other day was nothing for someone my size. I was going to try to see if I could up it to giving her a pint every other day and maybe a half a pint on the in between days just to make sure she was healthy. If that went well, maybe I could swing a pint a day, but that would be pushing it if I were going to be strong enough to go up against strigoi.

"I will bring you more blood tomorrow," I promised as the color began to return to her cheeks as she ate the human food I had brought for her.

"I don't want to get you in trouble," she said. "You must have trouble getting blood in a bag," she guessed.

"It isn't any trouble," I told her. If only she knew just how much trouble I would be in if anyone found out what I was doing. What would other guardians think of me if they knew I allowed my charge to use me as her own personal blood bank? She was going to have to re-learn to feed directly from the source. As it is it was difficult keeping up pretences with the guardian who ran the feeding facility. I had told him that she kept her own personal feeder in house. He hadn't asked questions thus far. I just hoped it wouldn't come up in conversation.

Jill and Eddie were waiting for us at the carport when we arrived a little after nine.

"Did you bring sunscreen, an umbrella and sunglasses?" I asked hoping Eddie was as prepared as I was. I had picked up a sunscreen with SPF 100, a baseball hat, a large dark colored umbrella, two pair of sunglasses, a sweater, bottled water and a hand held fan in case of heat exhaustion. I also packed some extra snacks in case she was hungry.

"What is that a diaper bag?" Soraya snorted poking her finger at the black messenger bag I had slung around my body, causing Jill to double over in hysterics.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't funny," Jill apologized noticing the stern look on my face.

"She's right, it's not funny," Soraya snickered trying and failing to keep a straight face.

I ignored them both and began to walk towards the SUV that I had signed out for the day. I had nearly reached the vehicle when I realized that no one was following me.

"Uh, Dimitri, where are you going?" she called. "I've got transportation covered," she said smiling brightly as she dangled a set of car keys in the air.

I sighed and followed them over to a very expensive looking silver Mercedes. I should have figured someone with her resources would own multiple vehicles. I held out my hand for the keys.

"Oh no, that's okay. You relax and look out for danger, I'll drive," she said taking way too much pleasure in banishing me to the passenger side of the car. I hated not being in control and it was almost as if she knew that and was trying to torture me. This is going to be a long day, I thought as she peeled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.

**So Jill's mission is to get Dimitri to fall in love with Rose again. What do you think of her idea? Do you think a day at the zoo will be a fun date? Will the Russian catch on to the plan? Do you think Rose is going to re-think going after Dimitri now that she knows he thinks she is weak? 4000 words deserves a review don't you think? **


	16. Chapter 15: it's Tough being Moroi

**Chapter 15: It's Tough Being Moroi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

**Sorry for the delay in updating. I began writing this chapter over a week ago, but for some reason I haven't been inspired. I tried to make this chapter better, but it ended up being sort of a filler anyway. I hate to do that, but a filler is better than waiting a month for an update right? Hope it doesn't suck too bad. **

**What do you think about them waiting until Frostbite to cast Eddie? I'm pretty okay with it. I don't really remember him in the first one. I know he was, but it was very trivial. It's much better than them cutting Christian or someone. **

DPOV

I had the distinct feeling that something was odd about this trip to the zoo. To my knowledge Jill and Soraya had met only once briefly at a gathering back in the winter and now it seemed like they had been friends for years.

"Do you find this at all odd?" I asked Eddie through our connected ear pieces as we followed our charges through the front gates of the wild life park. It had taken all of my restraint not to criticize her on her reckless driving. I briefly wondered if she'd ever driven a car before today. Jill hadn't seem concerned that we were at the mercy of a speed demon, but Eddie had looked like he might lose his breakfast at any minute. By the grace of God we made it to our destination and it felt really good to have my feet on solid ground after that.

"What?" he asked.

"That," I said, pointing to where the two girls had linked arms and were whispering and giggling with each other. They'd been sticking to each other like glue since they got in the car. They'd blared the radio and had a sing along to their girly pop music and shared tips on the best lip gloss. That was another reason the ride was so unpleasant for me. As it turns out my charge has the same taste in music and wears the same brand of lip gloss as Rose. It was just another on the long list of things that drove me insane about her. Was the universe trying to torture me by forcing me to spend quality time with a woman who resembled Rose just enough to drive me crazy, but was dissimilar in every way possible?

"What's wrong with that?" he asked. "They are enjoying themselves and I for one, am glad Jill finally made a friend here at court. She's had a rough time adjusting." I nodded. I knew Jill had a tough time fitting in with other royals and that befriending my charge would increase her popularity, but still something about the way the two were interacting made me suspicious. Another thing that struck me as peculiar is that Soraya didn't seem to associate with many people from her past. She'd broken up with Lord Badica and I hadn't seen her with any of the other royals. I wasn't sure what to make of that.

"I just wasn't aware that the two were friends is all," I said hoping he would drop it.

He shrugged. "You know how moroi are. Everyone is everyone else's cousin and all that jazz, especially with the royals." While I would keep that in mind, I still thought something was odd about the two of them. We stopped walking just inside the gates.

"Here, you should put this on," I said handing her a bottle of sunscreen.

"SPF 100?" she cried. "Why not just tape me up in bubble wrap?" she complained.

"You need to put it on," I insisted as I saw her stuff it in her bag.

She sighed. "Seriously?"

"Look, I know you're a fan of running out in the sunlight without protection, but it weakens you. The weaker you are the more blood you need. Do you even remember where I found you this morning?" I hissed letting my frustration get the better of me. I did not need her being difficult about this.

"Okay okay," she finally agreed.

"Ugh, this stuff smells putrid. How can you stand it?" she asked Jill as the two sprayed themselves down with the lotion.

"You'll get used to it," she responded sympathetically.

"Put these on," I said handing her a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses.

She glared at me, but acquiesced without a fight.

"Are we ready now or are you going to pull something else out of that bag Mary Poppins?" she asked her voice dripping with sarcasm. I blew off her flippant comment and grabbed a map of the zoo.

"I think the best way to be inconspicuous is to act like we are two couples out for a day of fun," Jill suggested once we were inside the park. Eddie was quick to agree taking Jill's outstretched hand with a smile. The two of them started walking in front of us and it didn't look as if I had a choice in the matter.

Soraya eyed me nervously and although it seemed a bit unorthodox , I held my hand out for her as well in compliance. Hell I was already feeding her my blood, why not act like a couple out on a date, how much different could that be? As soon as I touched her hand, I realized that it was sublimely different. A spark of electricity flowed from her hand through mine and it sent tingling sensations all over my body. I resisted the urge to pull away knowing it would look conspicuous. I didn't want her to know that my body was attracted her however traitorous that was on my part. My mind body and soul would always belong to Rose and being in such close proximity to Soraya was threatening my resolve. I couldn't figure out what it was about her that I was inexplicably drawn to. She was just a moroi, a royal moroi. We had nothing in common. Sure she was pretty, but all moroi were. For the next few hours I tried convincing myself that I was only holding her hand to keep up the charade, but by the time lunch rolled around it was a very different story.

"You can get closer. They can't hurt you," Jill encouraged as we approached the dolphin exhibit. They were behind plate glass windows and there was an underwater viewing location. So far we'd seen polar bears, tigers, a lion and some elephants and each time Soraya acted like they would jump out and bite her if she got too close. It was odd that she seemed to fear these large animals. Most moroi loved animals and were drawn to them as they were close to nature due to the elements they controlled.

"This is close enough," she stated standing back even further than Eddie and I did. Animals did not hate dhampirs per say, they just sensed something unnatural about us and tended to act out when we were around thus causing us to maintain our distance. It was normal for us dhampirs to hold back, but she shouldn't feel that way.

"Haven't you ever been to a zoo before?" I asked as she stood against the wall looking uncomfortable.

She shook her head in negation. "Nope, not a big fan of animals," she muttered under her breath. I raised my eyebrow at her wondering why on Earth she'd agreed to come here if she was afraid of animals.

"You know you are safe with me," I said placing my hand on her shoulder in comfort. I had fought many a strigoi and won, these animals would be no match for me.

She nodded, but didn't make a move to approach any of them for the rest of the morning.

RPOV

"This was a bad idea," I sighed as we made a stop in the ladies room before heading to lunch.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a wuss," Jill said applying a fresh coat of lip gloss in the mirror.

"I'm not a wuss," I argued taking offense to her remark.

She shrugged. "You're moroi now. You have to start acting like it. You've warned me time and again not to blow your cover, but you're acting like a dhampir. That in itself is noticeable. You also need to stop giving him such attitude. He'll never fall in love with you when you're acting like that."

"Why not? He did the last time." I couldn't see Dimitri wanting a woman to be his submissive. It just wasn't his nature. I knew my snippy attitude had gotten on his nerves when we first met, but I'd also come to realize that it was one of the things he loved about me or at least he used to. She rolled her eyes at me and continued to primp. I sighed again tugging at the ends of my hair. I had finally gotten it the right shade of dark brown, but it had only grown an inch and I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get my long locks back.

"Come on this wasn't such a bad idea. He's been holding your hand all morning," Jill teased winking at me.

"I know, but I hardly think that means anything. Eddie is holding your hand. Does that mean something?" I asked hands on my hips. I didn't tell her just how much my heart raced when his hand was in mine.

She shrugged. "I know Eddie likes me. I'm not trying to get him to fall in love with me," she said rolling her eyes.

"How do I know he's not just holding my hand because you told him to?" I asked.

"One way to find out," she said.

"What would that be?"

"Play hard to get. Don't initiate it. It's hardly necessary and he knows it. So if you don't make a move and he does, then he's into you," she stated matter of factly.

"Why am I taking advice from a sixteen year old?" I asked shaking my head as we exited the restroom. My heart nearly melted at the sight of him standing out there against the wall all alert and ready to jump into action.

"Are you ready to eat?" he asked knowing I was always hungry. I of course agreed immediately because I was famished. We stopped at a small café that served hot dogs and hamburgers.

"What would you like?" Dimitri asked.

"2 hotdogs with everything, large fries and a large coke," I said handing him a fifty dollar bill. "Don't forget cheese for the fries," I added.

"She's not really going to eat all of that?" I heard Eddie ask him as they headed up to the counter to order our food.

Dimitri just laughed. "Oh she will and she'll probably want ice cream later."

We walked around a bit more after lunch and as much as I hated to do it, I took Jill's advice and played hard to get. Unfortunately, so did Dimitri. He didn't make a move to hold my hand or touch me at all for the rest of the day. When he asked if I'd like ice cream before we left, I was too depressed to be hungry.

"I'm sorry my plan was a bust," Jill apologized later as we headed back towards my apartment. She could tell I wasn't in the best mood. I had handed the keys off to Dimitri and didn't say a word about the crap country western music he'd played all the way home.

The sun was just setting and although I'd been up for almost a day, I had promised Abe we would practice our fire magic today. I shrugged. "It isn't your fault. It doesn't matter what we do or where we go. He isn't going to fall in love with me," I stated resignedly.

"What why not?" she asked.

"Because deep down he's still in love with Rose," I said hating that I was forced to speak about myself in the third person.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. I didn't think about it that way. Adrian says his aura is really pink around you."

"Maybe so, but like you keep telling me, I have to remember my place now. I'm a royal moroi, a princess. That makes things so much more complicated."

"I suppose you're right. That's probably why Eddie hasn't confessed his feelings for me to my face. Truth is even if he did, I wouldn't know what to say. It's not like we would ever be accepted as a couple, at least not here at court. That's why I like being in Palm Springs so much better. I mean seriously I don't get why people have to be so bigoted. It's ruining all our lives.

"That's the way the cookie crumbles," I said as we reached the door to my place. She was preaching to the choir about life being unfair.

"Well it shouldn't be like that. This is so unfair. First Eddie and I can't be together, then Sydney and Adrian have to hide their relationship and now Dimitri won't let himself fall in love with you. This is beyond stupid."

"Did you say Sydney and Adrian are in a relationship?" I asked my eyes wide at her confession.

"Uh, no what? No I didn't say that," she said covering quickly.

"Oh I think you did. Spill," I demanded.

"I'm not supposed to tell," she said looking around nervously.

"We're alone and it's not as if the universe is going to smite them down for being together," I said constantly reminded that I had to watch every step I took and every word I said lest I be banished back to the world of the dead.

"Well when we first moved to Palm Springs Adrian was hurting real bad. I think he knew that he and Rose wouldn't have lasted even if she survived, but the fact that there was no closure to their relationship caused him a lot of heartache. After months of his dwelling on how much he missed her, he began to feel happy again and I noticed that he was happiest when he was around Sydney. He was finally able to open his heart again and he fell for her fast and hard. At first she resisted, but we all know how charming Adrian can be and after all the crazy things they went through this year, she finally gave in and they're in love," she exclaimed happily.

"Wow, who would've thought Sydney Sage, the alchemist bigot would betray her upbringing with an evil creature," I mused.

"She's really not an alchemist anymore," she said.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well she's a double agent of sorts. She's broken the spell on her tattoo and she almost went to get it inked over in Mexico with this guy named Marcus, but she thinks she is of more use on the inside. She's trying to get information on the connection between the warriors and the alchemists." Now that peaked my interest. I'd heard a bit about the warriors from Christian and what they tried to do to Sonya Karp.

Now was is definitely a surprise. I couldn't picture the Sydney I'd known doing any of these things. She always seemed so uptight. On the other hand, she did help us with my jail break and had some shady liaisons with Abe, so who really knew about her at this point? I'd have to make it a point to catch up with her sometime soon.

Jill left and I headed off to find Abe and Christian. They were both waiting for me as I approached the old church. The stood on opposite ends of the clearing arms crossed, glaring at each other. Should have figured putting those two together would be explosive.

"Well I'd ask how you two were doing, but I'm afraid to interrupt your stare down," I said standing in the middle of the field shaking my head at their childlike behavior.

"You didn't tell me you invited a friend," Abe said relaxing his stance a bit. His guardians stood on either side of the church keeping watch. What they were watching for I didn't know.

"Christian has been helping me develop my skills so I figured it would be a good idea to bring him along. Besides, we can use all the fire magic we can get."

"I always knew you had it in you to fight. You're a feisty one, not unlike a girl I once knew," Abe said stepping forward. My breath caught in my throat as I realized he was talking about me or the old me that is.

"What have you been working on so far?" he asked.

"She can conjure a fire ball and hit an inanimate object, but she has issues with control and she tires easily," Christian piped up. For a minute, I'd forgotten he was here.

"That stuff is child's play. A fireball will hardly slow down a strigoi. You need to learn to inflict the maximum amount of damage with the minimum amount of effort. Here, now watch this," he said.

"Do you see that pile of rubble over there?" he asked pointing about fifty yards away. We nodded.

With a simple flick of his wrist, the entire pile went up in flames. In a matter of seconds, the pile next to it was engulfed as well.

"How in the world?" I asked dumbfounded. Even Sparky looked impressed.

"It's all in your mind. You need to find the thing in this world that angers you the most and focus all your thoughts and energy on it. Go ahead and try," he coaxed.

I thought about all the people and things in life that made me angry. There was Stan and Kirova of course, but I didn't really hate them enough. Then there was the age law, but that had been revoked when Lissa became queen so it was pretty much a moot point. The Strigoi, Nathan that had turned Dimitri used to be on my list, but that seemed too far removed from where I was right now. What I was really angry about now is that I was dead or at least Rose Hathaway was dead and she was never coming back. Whose fault was that? And there I had it, the person that made me angriest in this world, the person who was responsible for my death and now this crappy form of existence in which I would never be able to have my best friend, my parents or Dimitri back.

"Tasha Ozera," I growled under my breath and the next thing I knew the tree next to me was ablaze.

"Well then someone found their muse," Abe said motioning for his guardians to get water to put out the fire I'd started so the rest of the forest didn't go up in flames as well.

"Let the anger of losing your family consume you, that is when your fire magic will be the strongest," he advised. I could do that. It was easy. I focused on all the things I'd lost this past year and before I knew it I'd all but incinerated two more trees.

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Christian asked eyes wide as he took in the damage I had done.

Abe waved him off dismissively. "Your goal is to be more dangerous than the strigoi, is it not?"

"Well yea, but it would be easy to lose control and then who knows what would happen."

"Christian has a point," I agreed.

"His concerns are not without merit, but if you hone your skill and you can figure out your limits, it will do more good than harm." I wondered what it was Abe thought about to ignite his magic. He didn't seem like he had a lot of rage. In fact, he was eerily calm most of the time.

With my father's encouragement, I tried a few more times and was able to light my targets on fire with ease and it wasn't as draining as the way Christian had been doing it. I was sure that Christian was right about this form of magic being dangerous, but I didn't care. I wanted to be in control. I would not be weak. I didn't need anyone to protect me and someday I was going to prove it.

**So Rose is becoming quite adept at her fire magic. Do you think there will be a time she has to use it? So the zoo was a bust. Dimitri has his reasons for keeping his distance and she is right that he isn't just going to fall head over heels in love with a royal moroi. That would be too easy. Next chapter we will hear more from Dimitri. I really need some encouragement please review. **


	17. Chapter 16: Remembering Rose

**Chapter 16: Remembering Rose**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**If you're a crier, I'd get a box of tissues before reading this. Enjoy! **

DPOV

I woke earlier than usual and rolled over to look at the clock. Two am and not only was I awake, but I was painfully aware of the date. For most people July fourteenth was of little significance, but for me and for a few select others, it was filled with darkness.

It was one year ago today that my life ceased to have meaning. July fourteenth twenty-twelve was the day that my reason for existence took her last breath. I sat up rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I had no desire to be alive today. Most days the hole she had left in my heart ached, but now, today on the anniversary of her death, it was a gaping flesh wound spewing blood from every angle. The intensity of the pain nearly made it unbearable to breathe. It was Sunday and my routine day off. I got out of bed tossing the covers to the side. I bagged two pints of blood before sitting down at the table with a bottle of the strongest vodka I could find. I knew I would be in no condition to bag anything tomorrow and the blood loss would help the vodka numb my pain faster.

"I don't know how to live without you Roza. Why did you leave me?" I cried tossing back a shot slamming the glass back down on the table so hard it shattered. I grabbed another glass and sat back down. A lone tear crept its way down my cheek as I stared at a photo of her I had taken from the box of her things when I cleaned out her room. Lissa had wanted to be the one to do it, but in the end, she hadn't been able to stomach removing the last traces of Rose from this world, thus the task fell to me. I'd packed up her few belongings all the while thinking how bittersweet it was that a life as bright as hers could fit into three small boxes. She didn't have many possessions, none of us guardians did. I had only come across several photographs of her while I packed. Mostly they were of her and Lissa, but there had been one taken the day she received her promise mark. She was smiling at the camera and couldn't have looked more beautiful. Sadly, a photo of the two of us together did not exist. There hadn't been an opportunity for us to be photographed together. I had always thought I would be there looking on proudly as she received the mark. Maybe that day she and would have taken a photo together as mentor and student. At least then, I would have one.

I had been there that day and she had known it. My demonic form had stalked her from a rooftop. I knew she'd seen me as I had meant it to be a warning. I was coming for her. At the time, she thought she had ended me on the bridge and that her eyes were playing tricks on her, but later she received the revolting note I'd sent her along with the stake she'd plunged so close to my heart, she realized I'd been there within mere yards of where she stood with her friends. If only she had known how her mistake had almost cost her and the ones she loved their lives. One millimeter to the right and I wouldn't be here right now. It sickened me to think of how twisted my thoughts of her were that day. At first, I had wanted to turn her so she would be by my side just as evil as I was, but that day I had plans to end her life. She had pushed me too far in Russia and I was there to plot my revenge.

I took a second shot and a third, not bothering to clean up the glass I'd broken, but the pain didn't wane even a little. The memories of the things I'd inflicted on her while I was strigoi played on constant repeat in my head. I clutched the photo of her close to my heart. I needed it to remind me of what she looked like smiling. The last two memories I had of her, she was in pain. The first was when I told her I didn't love her and the devastated look on her face and the second was when I watched as the life drained from her eyes as she lay in my arms dying. I didn't want to remember her like that. I wanted to remember the fierce warrior she had been when she beat me in training that first time back at St. Vladimir's. I wanted to remember her the day of the attack on the school where she fought hard and survived. I wanted to remember the look of passion and happiness on her face the first time we made love in the cabin and then again in the hotel. Those were the times I wanted to remember, but they eluded me. All I could think about were all the times I'd let her down and there were so many.

I wished I had the courage to visit her gravesite, but I couldn't bring myself to look at the small in ornate stone slab with her name on it. There hadn't been a public ceremony or anything. It just wasn't the way it was done for us dhampirs. Abe and Lissa had of course insisted she have a headstone. We all stood there with the bright July sun beating down on our backs as we said goodbye. Lissa wanted everyone to say a few words, but in the end there wasn't a single one of us who could hold it together long enough to speak. Not even Janine Hathaway could keep from shedding tears that day.

"Why Roza," I moaned. "Why did you leave me? Please come back to me," I pleaded as I lay my head on the table and stared blankly at the now half-empty bottle of liquor in front of me. I was going to need a whole lot more that the rest of this bottle if I wanted to forget how I'd failed her.

LPOV

"I told you I'm not working today," I snapped, as there was a knock at the door. Christian gave me a sympathetic look as he went to answer it. How dare anyone bother me today? Today was the anniversary of the worst day of my life. One year ago today my best friend had lain down her life for me and I had let her.

"Liss, its Adrian, Eddie and Jill," Christian said softly, placing his arm on my shoulder.

I sniffled a little. "I don't want to see anyone," I said not moving from where I sat in our bed. I had no plans to get out of bed today.

"They're hurting too you know," he reminded me. "Maybe it would help to talk about it, even if it's just to reminisce about the good times." I got out of bed reluctantly, but didn't bother to get dressed or look in a mirror.

"How are you holding up?" Jill asked embracing me tightly.

"How do you think?" I snorted. I hadn't meant to be rude, but my bond mate and best friend was gone. It had been one whole year since I'd seen her smile or heard her laugh. Just thinking about her at all caused my eyes to drip like a leaky faucet.

"What's in the bag?" I asked noticing Adrian was holding one.

"Chocolate donuts from Rose's favorite bakery," he stated. "I thought it might be nice if we celebrated her life a little bit instead of making today all about her death.

I nodded. "I think she would have liked that," I said motioning for them to sit down at the table. Rose was never one to dwell on loss. She wouldn't have liked what had been going on this past year especially the way Dimitri and I were acting. I rubbed my arms instinctively knowing the cuts weren't visible, but remembering the lovely pain they brought was sometimes the only thing that got me through the day. I hadn't done it in over a month, but I knew that later on tonight I would find solace in the cold blade against my skin.

We sat around awkwardly picking at the confections in front of us waiting for someone to start the conversation. Surprisingly it was Christian who was the first to speak up.

"Since no one was able to speak last year when we laid her to rest, I think it's only fitting that we say what we would have said back then today," he started. Everyone gave a nod of approval. I smiled at my boyfriend. His affinity for compassion was one of the things I loved most about him. He rarely showed that side of him in favor of attitude and sarcasm, but deep down he was actually very sensitive to the feelings of others.

"If Rose were here, I'd want to thank her. I owe her so much more than I'd ever want to admit," he continued. "It's no secret that Rose and I weren't good friends. In fact, most would say we hated each other, but that wasn't true. I didn't hate her. I owe her my life. She saved it not once, but twice. In Spokane, she was the one who killed the strigoi and helped me with my plan to get out of there. She was the one who came looking for me the day of the strigoi attack at St. Vladimir's. No one knew I had gone off to the church attic besides her and Lissa. I would have been a sitting duck, but she came to my defense fighting like the badass she was. Because of her, I had the chance to use my defensive magic and I realized I am not helpless. Fighting alongside her that day was an honor and I will never forget her. I only wish she was here so she could make a snarky comment about how sappy I'm being," he said smirking causing the rest of us to snicker.

"If Rose were here right now, I'd thank her as well. Without her, I wouldn't have found out that I had a sister. As much as it's a pain to be royal and the only other living Dragomir, I wouldn't trade it for anything. It was because of Rose that my sister had the chance to be elected Queen and bring about change for all of us."

"If it weren't for Rose, I would have been killed in Spokane by those Strigoi. She was also the one who had the idea to come search for us in the caves. Without her, I would have been killed or worse I would have been turned," Eddie said with a grimace.

"I owe Rose a lot as well. While she didn't save my life per say, she did give me a chance to show that I could be a better person. Before I met her, I had no desire to do anything with my life. I was spoiled, arrogant and very selfish. Loving her made me want to be a better man. Although it never would have worked between us, she showed me that I had to fight for what I want in life. Nothing was going to just fall into my lap. Thanks to her, I'm enrolled in art classes, I learned how to love unselfishly and have a new appreciation for the gifts I've been given." By the end of Adrian's speech, I was bawling.

After a long bought of silence, I finally mustered the courage to speak the words that I'd wanted to say the day of her funeral.

"Rose was my best friend. When I thought I had nothing to live for after my parents died, she was there for me. She took care of me, gave me everything she could and always put my needs above her own. She was the most amazing, remarkable and selfless person I've ever known. Having had her in my life is the only reason I'm standing here today. Not only did she give me the encouragement and support I needed, but she believed in me even when I thought I'd go mad from spirit. She shouldered the burden of my darkness and never once complained. When Rose loved someone or something, there was no limit to the things she would do for them. Last year she made the ultimate last sacrifice for me by giving up her life so I could live." My voice was shaking and the tears kept coming, but I had to get this off my chest.

"There is something I'd want to say to her if she were here today. "Rose I am so mad at you!" I cried rising to my feet.

"How could you leave me here like this? I needed you. This year has been so hard. I need my best friend. Why did you jump in front of that bullet? It should have been me," I shouted finally letting out all the guilt I'd been carrying around for the past year. "It should have been me," I sobbed as Christian took me into his arms to comfort me.

RPOV

I looked at the clock on the wall in the gym. I'd been here two hours and Dimitri hadn't shown up. Even though Sunday was generally his day off, he never missed a workout. It unnerved me a little, but I figured maybe he got stuck working a shift or caught up with Lissa.

I decided it had been a while since I last checked up on her and I could tell she was down. She was sadder than usual and I wondered if something had happened.

I sat down cross-legged on the floor and let myself drift into her mind. She was sitting around the table in her suite with Eddie, Jill, Christian and Adrian. They were eating or rather not really eating chocolate donuts. The mood was somber. I wondered what they were doing there and then as Christian began to speak, I realized what today was. It was the anniversary of my death. It made sense as to why Dimitri wasn't at the gym. He was with my friends. I scanned the room for him thinking I'd find him standing against the wall, only he wasn't there which perturbed me even more. I listened with silent tears running down my face as my friends spoke about the ways I'd touched their lives. My breath hitched in my throat as I felt the intense sadness and guilt coming from Lissa as she cried out in pain. I tried pulling out of her head immediately not being able to handle such intense emotions, but she was too emotional right now. I couldn't stop the sobs that wracked my body as I relived the last few moments of my life through her eyes. She was overwhelmed with guilt. She blamed herself for not struggling harder against the guardians who had dragged her away from me. She regretted not compelling them into letting her leave the room they'd locked her in, but most of all she regretted allowing Dimitri to talk her out of bringing me back. I finally managed to escape her mind, but her feelings were so overwhelming, I couldn't block them out. I ached to run to her and tell her right here and now that I was back and that it hadn't been her fault. It wasn't any of their faults, it was only one person's fault and if she hadn't already been executed, I would have gone and killed her myself.

I could feel the intense darkness swirling inside her. I concentrated hard and pulled it from her hoping it would give her some peace. I spent the next hour beating the hell out of the dummies in order to clear the darkness from my head. My hands were bloody and I think I sprained my wrist, but it was necessary so I wouldn't lose it and beat some random passerby to a bloody pulp.

I was on my way to the main guardian office to see if Dimitri had a shift when something Lissa was thinking about caught my attention. I took a short detour through the woods to the old church where Christian and I practiced our fire magic. I walked around the backside and was startled to see that I was not the only one here. I pressed myself up against the building hiding in the shadows as I watched my father place a bouquet of peonies on my grave. My superior moroi hearing permitted me to eavesdrop without revealing myself.

"Ah little girl, of all the things I regret in my life," he said shaking his head. My heart constricted at the thought that my father could possibly regret me being born.

"I should never have let her take you from me," he growled kicking the ground in anger. "Because of her, I missed so much. I know I'm the last person anyone would choose to be a father figure, but despite my indisgressions, I would have been there for you. All those years I was absent, I loved you," he said dropping down on one knee placing his hand over the slab of stone.

I realized I had mistaken his earlier words. He regretted being away from me. My lips curved up into a smile as I continued to listen. I hated that he was in pain, but it felt really good to know how much he loved me.

"Truth is, I can pretend that taking out my anger on your mother is the right thing to do, but it wasn't her fault, not entirely. I let her keep me away. I sent those checks to St. Vladimir's all those years without once insisting that I meet you. You were the bravest woman I've ever known and the honor and respect you earned by giving up your life for your charge is one of the things that makes me the most proud of you. I never wanted you to think I regretted having you as a daughter. That wasn't why I stayed away. I wish you would have known that. I stayed away for fear that your mother was right. She convinced me I was a bad influence on you and that it would be better for all of us if I made myself scarce. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made and I will live with it always. I'm so proud to have been your father Kizim," he said wiping a tear from his eye.

I waited until he left and walked over to where he'd lain the flowers. I inhaled sharply at the plain block of stone with my name carved into it. It sickened me that my rotting corpse was beneath where I was currently standing.

**Rosemarie Hathaway Born into Life March 23****rd**** 1994 Born into Eternal Life July 14****th**** 2012. **

Just the look of my name staring back at me from there caused fury to rise in me.

"How dare she take my life from me!" I cried breaking down as I fell to my knees in the grass.

"I didn't deserve this. I had so much to live for. Why did you let this happen?" I shouted. I continued to sob uncontrollably punching my already bruised and bloody fists into the stone.

"Sometimes bad things happen and there isn't a clear reason." I was startled as Adrian stepped out of the shadows putting out his cigarette with the tip of his shoe. I smiled weakly at him as he held out his arms for me. I ran to him allowing him to comfort me as I continued to lose it.

"You took her darkness today. I saw it," he stated. We had moved to sit on the small bench on the other side of the church.

"I had to. She was about ten seconds away from hurting herself," I said remembering the way she longed to cut herself.

"I figured as much. She tries to hide it, but I know she does it. She heals herself after. It makes her aura weak."

"I know. I wish there was something I could do to help," I said drying my tears with the hankerchief he'd handed me.

"Just be her friend. That is what she needs. You might not be able to tell her who you are, but you can certainly befriend her."

I nodded. " So how's your girlfriend?" I asked trying to lighten the mood by teasing him.

"I always knew you were a rule breaker Ivashkov, but to corrupt Sydney, man those are some mad skills you've got."

"You think so huh?"

I shrugged. "You've always been a sweet, kind, charming man," I said stroking his ego a little.

He smiled at me. "Thanks to you."

"I heard," I said choking up a little as I referred to their little gathering earlier.

"Hey why wasn't Dimitri at Lissa's earlier?" I asked.

"He doesn't socialize well with others or haven't you noticed," he snorted.

"I know, but today had to be hard for him."

"You should go and be with him," he suggested. "He's probably brooding."

"I was on my way there when I saw Abe," I responded.

"You'd better be on your way then," he said taking my hands in his. I felt the warm and then cold sensation as he healed my hands and wrist.

"You didn't have to do that," I told him.

He shrugged. "You don't need to give Belikov another thing to worry about today do you?"

"I guess not," I said sheepishly. We parted ways and I headed over towards guardian housing.

"Dimitri," I called knocking on the door. I didn't hear any movement.

"Dimitri are you in there?" I called again. He mustn't be home, but then where could he be? I was walking away as I dialed his number. I turned around when I heard his phone ring inside is apartment. I remembered his ringtone. I had been really bored in the car when we were on the run and I'd changed his ringtone to Baby Got Back. Apparently he hadn't changed it back.

I walked back to his door and pounded on it as hard as I could, but still nothing. Now I was really worried. I took a step back and braced myself for impact as I swung my foot out Rose Hathaway style effectively cracking the door off its hinges. It was a heavy door, but at the Academy Dimitri had taught me to look for weaknesses and helped me learn to gage the right angle to break down a door in an emergency. I'd say him not answering the door or the phone was an emergency.

"Dimitri," I called again as I entered cautiously. I didn't think there was any danger, but one could never be too sure. I slipped the stake I always carried out of its holster, clutching it tightly in my hand.

As I continued to walk, my feet crunched on what sounded like glass. I looked down and saw remnants of a broken glass on the floor. I looked to my right and gasped when I saw Dimitri sitting in a chair. His head was lolled over on the table, a mostly empty bottle of Stoli clutched in his hand.

I stepped forward noticing that not only was there broken glass all over the floor, but on the table as well. His face was resting on a layer of shards and his hand was bleeding.

"Dimitri, can you hear me?" I asked placing my hand on his coraded to see if he was still alive. I sighed in relief as I felt his pulse and felt the rise and fall of his chest. From the looks of it, he was passed out drunk. That was so unlike my Comrade. I'd never actually seen him drink let alone get plastered.

I decided first things first, I gently lifted his head off the broken glass sweeping it out from underneath lying a towel down on the table before resting his head there again being careful as to make sure I pulled all of the glass from his hair. I then swept up the broken glass, removed the bottle from the table and placed a cool cloth on the back of his neck.

"Comrade you need to wake up," I whispered. He didn't stir and it didn't look like that was going to change anytime soon.

I decided it was no use trying to rouse him right now and that the best thing I could do was to get him over to the bed. It wasn't very far, but boy was he heavy. At six foot seven and two hundred and fifty pounds there was no way I could lift him by myself. I was going to need some help.

**Aww poor Comrade. **


	18. Chapter 17: Hallucinations

Chapter 17: Hallucinations

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy

DPOV

"Roza," I whispered as I fought through the haze of sleep. She was lying next to me stroking my cheek, her head resting on my chest. She looked radiant as her eyes fluttered open, shining just the way they used to with that special look reserved only for me. I reached out with my left hand and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Roza," I said again reaching for her face. How was she here? Was I dead? Ah hell what did it matter? She was here, right here and I was touching her. Her skin felt so soft against my hand.

"I love you Roza. You came back to me," I murmured pulling her closer to me. I ached to feel her soft lips against mine. Our lips were just millimeters from touching when she pulled away from me.

"Dimitri, it's Soraya, are you okay?" her voice snapped me out of my stupor and I sat up quickly ugh too quickly. My head throbbed in pain. I moved away from her briskly, thoroughly embarrassed that I'd just made a move on my charge.

"Here take these and drink this," she said seemingly unscathed by my attempted molestation. She handed me a tall glass of water and two ibuprofen tablets. I swallowed them dutifully. This was not good. My charge was here in my bed with me. I was hung over and had been seconds away from kissing her. My reputation was already tarnished by the fact that I had fallen in love with my student and because I was formerly a strigoi. I so did not need to add drunken behavior and sexual misconduct to the long list of indiscretions in my past. Wait what was she doing here on my bed lying next to me?

"How did you get in here?" I asked swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

"I broke down the door." I raised her eyebrow at her and she shrugged.

"You weren't answering the door or your phone. I thought something happened," she defended herself.

"Well as you can see I am fine, you can go. I will see you tomorrow." I hated to be short with her, but I needed her to leave.

"Uh in case you haven't noticed, it is tomorrow," she stated giving me a funny look. A quick check of the clock above the microwave and a look at the stubble on my chin told me she was telling the truth. "I got tired after moving you to your bed. I must have fallen asleep."

"Princess, I'm sorry. I know what this must look like to you," I apologized pointing to the broken glass on the table and on the floor only upon second look, it wasn't there. She must have cleaned up while I was passed out.

"If you're looking for the mess you made with the shot glasses, I cleaned it up yesterday after I found you passed out lying in it," she said giving me a sympathetic look. This was so much worse than I originally thought. I exhaled and sat back down on the bed.

"Yesterday was a very bad day for me. I shouldn't have allowed myself to drink so much. It was out of line and if you'd like to report me to Queen Vasilissa or to Guardian Croft, I understand."

"We all have bad days," she said taking a seat beside me. "Do you want to talk about it?" She laid her delicate hand over mine and her touch felt so good. I couldn't allow this. I pulled my hand away from hers gently.

I shook my head. "No, I would prefer not to." I wasn't ready to talk about Rose with her or anyone else.

"I understand how you feel," she said quietly. "I've lost everyone I care about too. Sometimes I feel like breaking things. Sometimes I feel like there's a void in my heart that will never completely heal. No matter how hard I try to forget about them, I can't. I just keep reliving that day over and over wondering why things like that happen to good people. It isn't fair," she said tearing up a little.

I didn't say anything. What was there to say? She was hurting and so was I. I wanted to seek comfort in her, but I knew it would be wrong. I longed for some sort of physical contact. It had been a year since I'd allowed anyone to touch me. Lissa often tried, but I wouldn't have any of it. I didn't deserve to feel good. I had let Rose down when she needed me the most. The night I held Soraya after the gala, it made me feel whole again if only for a few precious moments. I wanted to hold her again, even if it was a mistake. At the zoo the other day, it had felt so amazing to have her hand in mine, but after lunch she made no move to reinitiate any sort of hand holding and I wasn't the type to force physical contact on anyone.

"I really am sorry for my behavior. I don't usually drink," I said noticing for the first time that I wasn't wearing a shirt. I grabbed one putting it on quickly. I stood and attempted to make my way to the bathroom.

"You're forgiven," she said steadying me as I stumbled. "You might want to lay off the Stoli though," she said laughing a bit.

I nodded. "Thank you for helping me. If you need blood I can bring some over later." I hoped she'd take the hint and leave, but a small part of me wanted her to stay. I was lonely and having her around gave me something to focus my thoughts on other than Rose.

"Are you sure you want to be alone?" she asked. "I could make you some breakfast. You really should eat something after yesterday."

I knew I should have said no. I knew I should have sent her away, but I could feel my resolve weakening.

"That would be nice," I agreed giving her a half smile. We were friends after all and didn't friends share meals together?

"Good," she said her face lighting up. "Why don't you take a hot shower and I will get started."

RPOV

"Thanks for helping me get him into bed. I didn't know who else to call."

"I knew he'd be a wreck today. Lissa tried calling him a few times, but he didn't answer."

"He's pretty broken up about his girlfriend huh?" I asked, trying to entice Christian into talking about it.

He nodded. "He's been through a lot. He's pretty much always been a loner. She changed him though."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, he was friends with my Aunt Tasha for a long time, but even after years of knowing each other, he never opened up to her the way he opened up to Rose. I guess that is what true love is like. It's probably also the thing that drove my Aunt over the edge. She wanted him to be her guardian you know. She was in love with him and wanted a family. I think he would have done it too, if he hadn't met Rose. He stayed at the academy for her."

"So you blame Rose for your Aunt going insane?" I snapped fury coursing through my veins. I was so going to punch his face in if he blamed me for Tasha killing Queen Tatiana, trying to frame me and then putting a bullet in my chest.

"What? No, of course not. Tasha was already half mental. Rose didn't do anything. You can't help who you fall in love with." His words calmed me a little.

"So your Aunt wanted a family with a Dhampir? How do you feel about that?"

He shrugged. "If that's what she wanted, who was I to judge her or anyone else for that matter. I don't see why we're so focused on race. To me it's a question of who you are, not where you came from. I fell in love with Lissa didn't I?"

I wrinkled my nose in confusion. "She's moroi," I stated.

"Yea, she's a royal moroi," he snorted.

"So you don't like royals? You know you are one right?"

"I'm not like them. I never have been," he growled seemingly offended by my remark. "Even if I hadn't been ostracized, I wouldn't be like them. I want to fight alongside the guardians. I want to be able to protect myself and Lissa. That's why I practice offensive magic. I don't expect them to lay their lives down for a race that refuses them equal rights. It isn't just. Lissa is trying to make things better, but she can only do so much. We need people to fight for the cause, people like you," he said.

"I will give my full support to any plan that will bring equality and a better life for them," I said sighing as I took in Dimitri's sleeping form. I would do anything for him to have a better life and for it to be socially acceptable for us to be together.

"That's good to know," he said giving me an odd look. "I'd better get going. You coming?"

I shook my head. "No, I think someone should stay with him. He was pretty out of it."

"I think that's a good idea. He needs someone you know, he said smiling knowingly.

"Have a good night Christian and thanks again."

After he left I took a seat on the side of Dimitri's bed. He looked so peaceful as he slept. I realized that it was rather warm and he was wearing two layers. I took my chances at waking him and managed to pull off his shirt. Much to my surprise and delight his undershirt came off along with it leaving his chest bare. I ran my hand slowly along the curve of his stomach and up his six-pack abs., damn he was hot. From what I could discern I was in no danger of waking him at least for now so I decided to take advantage of the situation. I lay next to him allowing my head to rest on his chest like I had after we made love.

"I really wish you could know that I'm here Comrade. If you could just see past the moroi body, the title and the prejudices then we could be together. I know it's a lot to ask, but if you could just see through this disguise and love me again life would be so much more bearable."

I knew he couldn't hear me and that what I was asking was impossible, but it couldn't hurt to ask right? I knew I should leave or at least go and lay on the couch, but I was so comfortable and being this close to him after so long was like heaven and I wasn't ready to give it up just yet. I'll just lie here a few more minutes I told myself. Minutes turned into hours and hours turned into morning. The next thing I knew he was awake and touching my face. When he called me Roza, I nearly broke down into hysterics. Our lips were seconds from touching when I realized I couldn't let the first time he kissed me as Soraya be because he was hallucinating. It wouldn't be right and who knew how he would react so as excruciating as it was, I pulled away.

He seemed embarrassed and was about two seconds away from shoving me out the front door, when something changed. To my surprise he allowed me to stay and make him breakfast.

My thoughts were clouded by the sounds of him just ten feet away buck naked in the shower. What should I make? What did he eat for breakfast? I thought back and realized I had no idea what he liked. We had never eaten a real meal together unless you counted hot cocoa, donuts or cheeseburgers on the run.

I opened the fridge finding it stocked with necessities and two bags of blood.

"What is all this?" he asked as he emerged from the shower thirty minutes later.

"I made blini with sour cream and smoked salmon," I said holding my breath, hoping the recipe Olena had taught me in Baia was still among his favorites."

His face lit up as he looked at my creation.

"How did you know?" he asked perplexed as he pulled out a chair and sat down.

I shrugged. "Lucky guess," I said handing him a strong cup of black coffee.

I placed a few blini on my plate before adding quite a bit of powdered sugar. He didn't have any syrup.

"You sure enjoy your sugar don't you?" he teased playfully.

"Why be practically invulnerable to disease and weight gain if you're not going to use it to your advantage," I said adding a heaping spoonful of sugar to my coffee.

"I guess that's one way to look at it," he mused, raising his eyebrow at me as he devoured his meal.

"My mother used to make them like this for me," he stated with a far off look in his eyes.

"Do you miss your family?" I asked.

"I do. I haven't seen them in five years."

"Five years is a long time. Why haven't you visited? I assume they are in Russia."

"They are and it's complicated. They think that I am dead and I wouldn't even know how to go about explaining the whole brought back from being strigoi thing." My heart broke a little for him as I realized how truly lonely he must be.

The next few weeks passed quickly. I practiced magic with Abe and Christian. Dimitri and I worked out in the gym and Lissa had invited me to another spa day. I had just returned from a royal council meeting when I was unpleasantly surprised that my school schedule arrived in the mail.

"What the hell! How am I supposed to do this?" I cried.

"Do what?" Adrian asked. He and Sydney had come over to hang out. They were leaving to go back to Palm Springs in a little over a week and I would miss having people around who knew who I was.

"Major in French Literature! What the hell kind of major is that?"

"Quite an interesting one, although it won't really get you a job," Sydney mused.

"I'm a princess, what do I need a job for," I snorted rolling my eyes. "This is so typical. Stupid royals pick a major that has nothing to do with anything related to real life and now I'm going to flunk out," I moaned.

"So change your major," she suggested.

"What? How can I do that without drawing attention to myself?"

"People do it all the time. In fact most American college students change their major at least once if not twice."

"They do?" If that was true then it might work to my advantage.

"You never thought about going to school?" Sydney asked.

"Hell no, I was going to be a guardian," I stated. "I mean I was a guardian."

"So you didn't plan to take any classes with Lissa while she was in school?" Adrian asked.

"Well yea, but I was going to take whatever she was taking and she was going to help me with the hard stuff," I said sighing in frustration.

"Think of this as a fresh start. You're getting an opportunity to re-invent yourself albeit with slightly different physical talents, but your mind is the same," Sydney pointed out.

"Yea that's the problem. I've never been any good at school. I barely passed my classes at St. Vlads and that was with me picking Lissa's brain for the answers while we were taking tests."

"You've seriously never thought about what you would do if you weren't a guardian?" she asked.

I shook my head in negation. "Nope, that's all I ever wanted to do. That's all I was allowed to do unless you count going to live in some commune and being a blood whore."

"Well now you have better choices. I would love to go to college," she said her eyes lighting up.

"Why don't you?" I asked.

"Same circumstances that kept you from choosing. My father chose for me. I was born into a family of alchemists and that was my only choice.

"But I thought you weren't really into that anymore," I said winking.

"I haven't made any final decisions yet. I can't just leave. They would rehabilitate me and that would be bad. My tattoo is broken, but it isn't inked over."

"Why didn't you take the final step?" I inquired burning with curiosity.

"I wasn't ready to just give everything up," she said her eyes moving over to where Adrian was sitting on the couch playing with their dragon.

I smiled. "I know what you mean. It's the same reason I don't just up and leave. I'm not ready to give Dimitri up yet. Not without a fight."

I decided to take Sydney's advice and change my major. I didn't have a lot of time and I needed to think fast. What was something I could major in that didn't require reading, writing, math or science? Nothing, or so I'd found out after researching for hours.

In the end I decided to change my major to communications. There wasn't a whole lot I could do with it, but the classes seemed straightforward and at least they were in English.

"So, I thought maybe today we could try something different," I suggested as Christian and I had pretty much mastered lighting things on fire on command. I mean seriously can you think of any two people in the world who had more rage than the two of us? I didn't think so.

"What do you mean different?" he asked.

"Well I thought that we could spar," I said.

"Spar?" he asked quirking his eyebrow.

"Sure, you know fight."

"You want me to fight you?" he asked smirking.

"That would be the idea."

"Why ask me and not Belikov?"

"Cause it would be so much more fun kicking your ass." He just glared at me.

"Okay okay, I already asked him and he said no. Come on, please. I really need someone to fight with," I pleaded.

"Okay, but don't blame me if you get hurt. I'm not going to go easy on you just because you're a girl," he said cockily.

"Oh don't worry, I won't," I said, knowing full well I could take Sparky in two seconds flat.

Sure enough, my first blow caught him off guard, as did my second. He tried swinging at me flailing around unsuccessfully as I anticipated and ducked each and every one of his pitiful attempts to take me down until I kicked his legs out from under him putting him out of his misery.

"Do you still think girls can't fight?" I asked with my gym shoe pressed up against his neck.

He shook his head in negation. "Nope, you're good," he squeaked.

**Awww poor Comrade. Was he really hallucinating or was he just seeing her as she truly is? School is about to start for them soon. More Lissa, drama and possibly some srigoi oh no! This next week is going to be hectic as it is the last week of school and I have 140 final exams to grade. If you don't hear from me before June first, fear not, I have not abandoned this story, I just need more time. I am hoping it won't come to that, but you never know. Leave me some love!**


	19. Chapter 18: Bonding

**Chapter 18: Bonding **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

LPOV

I sat in the throne room alone for the third day in a row. Jill had gone back to Palm Springs last week and Christian was doing God knows what. He was rarely available these days and here I sat all alone and bored out of my mind. You'd think that being Queen would be hard work and it was ninety percent of the time, but then there were weeks like this where there wasn't a single thing to do. Royal council was on vacation for the rest of the summer, I had no bills to sign, no conferences to attend and nothing that required my immediate attention.

I stared at the clock again willing it to move, but it seemed that time was insistent on standing still today. It was only nine-thirty in the morning and I couldn't fathom as to what I would do with the rest of my day. Christian had slipped out early this morning for his early morning workout or whatever it is he called it. All I knew is that he disappeared every morning around the same time and came back two hours later sweating bullets. Sometimes he even sported a few bruises. He said it was all part of his defensive magic program, but I was starting to wonder.

I sighed glancing at a photo of Rose and I that I kept on my desk. It was a silly photo we'd taken all those years ago when we were on the run. We had crashed a Halloween party wearing make-shift fairy costumes we'd found at the dollar store. Rose had glitter all over her face and in her hair and the mask I wore matched my eyes perfectly. It was days like today that I needed her the most. I pulled a razor blade out of the top drawer of my desk. It was funny how every time I looked at that cold hard blade I longed to run it across my wrists and arms, but just as quickly as the thoughts seeped into my mind, they would vanish and I'd be staring down at the blade shuddering as I stuffed it right back into the drawer.

That had been happening to me a lot lately. I'd practice my magic with Adrian and use a lot of spirit and then the darkness would swirl around me, but inevitably it would disappear into thin air leaving me wondering what had happened to it. I knew I wasn't imagining all the dark thoughts I was having, but with Rose gone I couldn't figure out why they weren't plaguing me. After she died it had been so bad that I had to go back on my anti-depressants for the first few months. Being cut off from my magic though had made me even crazier so about six months ago I stopped taking my meds. At first the darkness was just awful, but about three months ago I began to feel better almost like someone was pulling the darkness from me again. It was a silly thought, but whatever was happening, I was grateful. I truly thought that after Rose died, that I would go insane.

I turned on my IPad and decided to pass some time fiddling with things. I was about a half an hour into a game of angry birds when there was a knock at the door.

"Yes," I called sitting up straight at my desk, shoving the IPAD into a drawer.

"Your highness, you have a guest. May I show her in?" Guardian Anderson asked.

"Sure," I told him excited to have a visitor. I couldn't figure out who it could be, but hey at this point I was so bored, I didn't care.

"Queen Vasilissa," she greeted me bowing slightly.

My eyes lit up. "Soraya, how are you?" I asked my mood lifting instantly. I was glad it wasn't some stuffy royal wanting to talk politics.

"I've been well," she said stepping further into the room.

"What brings you here? I hope things are working out between you and Guardian Belikov," I said hoping there wasn't a problem with the guarding situation.

"Everything is just fine. Guardian Belikov is the best after all," she said. "I know you are a very busy woman, but I stopped by hoping that you were free this afternoon," she said hopefully.

"Well, I am usually very busy, but with the council on vacation and all, I have a few hours to spare," I stated hoping I didn't sound as eager as I actually was. "What did you have in mind?"

"You'll see," she said holding up a huge vinyl bag with a smile on her face. "Follow me." She motioned for me to come with her. I removed myself from my desk and followed her cautiously down the hallway.

"Don't worry, my bag has already been checked by four guardians for contraband and they patted me down," she said making a face.

"I'm sorry about that," I said a bit embarrassed. After what happened to my predecessor you can't be too careful."

"Touche," she said laughing a bit.

"Where are we going?" I asked biting my lip nervously as I followed her through the twists and turns of a part of the palace I'd never been to before.

"It's just a bit further," she said seeming to know exactly where she was going.

She stopped in front of a wall and stared at it for a few seconds.

"Uh, I think this is a dead end," I said.

"That's what they want you to think," she replied sticking her hand out, pulling on one of the candelabras on the wall. Slowly the panels began to move apart. My eyes widened in surprise.

"A secret passageway?" I gasped.

She nodded. "Isn't this cool? I would never have figured there would be one of these in the palace."

"How did you?" I stuttered slightly uneasy at following her through the door into the unknown.

"Adrian told me. He knows far more about this palace than anyone. He says Queen Tatiana used to let him have the run of the place when he was a kid," she explained.

"What is this place?" I asked as I followed her blindly into the darkness. I knew I was taking a chance, but hey I was bored as hell and this seemed like an adventure. It seemed like something Rose would do.

"It's the best hidden secret at court," she said flipping a light switch.

"Holy crap," I cried in awe of the room in front of me. The room was made of floor to ceiling panels that made it seem like it was bright and sunny inside. The ceiling was painted blue with whispy clouds that seemed to float along. There was an Olympic sized swimming pool surrounded by faux palm trees and real white sand.

"There are even heaters under the sand so when you walk on it, it's like being at the beach," she said amused at my amazement.

"How did I not know about this?" I asked as she threw her bag down on one of the many chaise lounges that surrounded the pool.

She shrugged. "What's the matter?" she asked noticing the pouty look on my face.

"I don't have a swimsuit," I said.

"Sure you do." She tossed me a smaller bag that she pulled out of her bigger one. I opened it to reveal a modest white bikini with gold accents a pair of sunglasses and some flip flops.

"I came prepared," she said pulling out a blender, a bag of ice, some margarita mix and a huge bottle of rum. "What would a day at the beach be without margaritas?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"No fun at all," I said laughing as she proceeded to pull out two large margarita glasses and some salt.

"Does anyone know we're here?" I asked after we had both changed into our swimsuits and were now lounging poolside with cocktails in our hands.

"Not sure. Do you care?"

"Not in the least," I said fully needing a break from all the pressures of being Queen.

"There are enough cameras in the building for them to see where we went," she assured me.

"That's true," I guess.

"So are you looking forward to school starting up again?" I asked as she passed me the bottle of tangerine colored nail polish she'd just used on her toes.

"Eh, not really. School isn't my favorite, but it will be nice to get away from court for part of the day. I feel like a prisoner."

"You're telling me. Try having twelve guardians follow you around court all day and twenty when you leave the wards. You're lucky you only have Dimitri to contend with," I snorted.

"Yes, but he can be extremely overbearing," she commented.

"So you two are getting along alright?" I pried. Truth was I had my guardians keeping an eye on them and had heard that they worked out together nearly every day and that he spent time at her apartment after. It pleased me that they were getting on so well and I had high hopes that she would be the one to bring Dimitri out of his melancholy.

"Sure, we get along fine. He's a very diligent guardian."

"Is that all?" I asked, my face falling.

"What else would there be?" she asked quizzically.

"Nothing, I just, well I sort of hoped the two of you would become friends. He's had a rough year and I know you have too."

"Oh, well yea, we're friends. He's a little stoic and hard to reach sometimes, but he's not unpleasant to talk to. He had a little trouble coping on the anniversary and all, but he's been okay since."

"I know, Christian told me. I was hoping you wouldn't hold his drinking against him. He's not usually like that. It's just that Rose was everything to him and losing her made him a little insane if you know what I mean."

She nodded. "I understand. I haven't exactly been the picture of mental health these past few months."

"I'll drink to that," I said holding out my glass.

We spent the better part of the day lounging by the pool soaking up the fake sun and goofing around like old friends. It was nice to have someone to spend time with and even though I felt a little guilty for enjoying myself so much without Rose, I felt like in a way she would be proud of me for making a new friend.

"So what do you say we make this a more frequent occurance?" I asked, hopeful that she would want to spend more time with me.

"You mean sunbathing?" she asked adjusting her sunglasses?

"Well yes, I mean not just this, you know hanging out, having girl time," I said.

"I would like that. I don't really have any friends other than Dimitri. So much of my life was wrapped up in Andrew for so long that I didn't really keep close girlfriends."

"I know what you mean. I used to have Rose, but well she, you know and now it's just me and my sister goes to school elsewhere so it isn't like she's around. Here's my private cell number. Call me soon and we'll get together," I told her smiling.

"Sounds like a plan."

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Christian asked as I skipped into our suite. He looked up from the video game he was playing and smiled at me.

"Just had a really fun relaxing day," I said plopping down on the sofa beside him.

"Glad to hear it. What did you do?"

"Made a new friend," I said, the corners of my lips curving up into a huge cheesy grin.

DPOV

"Have you seen my charge?" I asked the guardian on duty at the gym. I hadn't seen her all day even to train and it worried me.

"That would be a negative," he stated.

I ran my hand through my hair in agitation. She hadn't had her ration of blood today and I didn't want to find her collapsed somewhere or worse.

I continued my search of the court and was just about to give up when I heard her behind me.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked causing me to spin around and face her.

"Just out for a walk," I lied smoothly.

"Mind if I join?"

"Not at all," I said wondering where she had disappeared to, but not wanting to sound desperate and ask.

We walked in comfortable silence for a while before she broke the silence.

"So school starts next week. I was wondering how that is going to work."

RPOV

After a wonderful day with Lissa, I decided to head out and find my other love. He of course was out trying to ascertain my whereabouts as usual. The man was diligent I'll tell you. School was starting soon and I wanted to know what he would be doing while I was in class.

"I have already staked out all of your classrooms, got profiles on your professors and planned escape routes if necessary," he said obviously having done a lot of work these past few weeks.

"Will you be attending classes with me?" I asked. On one hand it would be nice to have him around so much, but on the other hand then he'd notice just how dumb I was."

"I wasn't going to at first, but there are a few places that are not at safe as I'd like so I will be in two out of your five classes. The rest of the time I will be lurking nearby. I promise you will be fine," he assured me.

"I'm not too worried," I stated.

"I see you changed your major," he mused as we approached a small lake with a walking path.

"Had to," I said.

"Why is that?"

"Uh, it's just a lot more practical is all. What was a degree in French Literature going to get me anyhow?" I laughed nervously.

"You are a princess now. You don't exactly need to get a job," he pointed out.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I want to be one of those lazy royals who sits around watching their bank accounts grow," I snorted.

"I see," he responded a small smile playing on his lips.

"What? Do you think I'm like them?" I asked wanting to know what he really thought of me."

"My honest opinion?" he asked.

I nodded taking in a breath of air.

"No, you aren't like them. In fact, you aren't like any moroi I've ever encountered. You are an Enigma."

"A what?" I asked confused. Leave it to a Russian to use big words that I didn't know the meaning of.

"A mystery, hard to figure out," he clarified.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"In your case, I don't think so." That earned him a big smile.

"Hey since we missed training this morning how about later this evening?" I asked.

He agreed and I skipped happily back to my apartment.

After a long, but awesome day spent with the two people I loved the most, I lay in bed just reveling in the good feelings. It wasn't the same as being Rose Hathaway, but I'd finally figured a way to integrate myself into my friend's lives in a way that felt right. Now if only I could get Dimitri to feel something more than friendship for me. I yawned and decided that was best left for another day. Tonight I would enjoy the fact that for once I hadn't hated being Soraya Lazar.

**Uh oh! Is she getting too comfortable with her new life? What did you think of her bonding time with Lissa? Do you think Lissa will figure out that someone is taking her darkness? Next up Lehigh University and a little bit more Andrew drama! Sorry this was short, but I had a million papers to grade, but I didn't want to wait too long to update. **


	20. Chapter 19: Jealous Boyfriend

**Chapter 19: Jealous Boyfriend**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy. **

**Okay so a lot of people were against me bringing Andrew back into the story, but he wouldn't just let it go. He loved her and so I left him out of this chapter, but he will make another appearance before the story is done. Happy reading! **

RPOV

"Ugh," I cried nearly falling out of bed as Dimitri's incessant pounding on my door pulled me from my peaceful slumber.

"I'm up, I'm up," I yelled tripping over my blow dryer, which somehow had ended up in the middle of the floor amongst the clothing I had strewn about.

"It's almost seven-thirty," he stated as I opened the door to find him standing there fully clothed, wide awake, holding two bags and two cups.

"Do you always have to be so cheery in the morning?" I grumbled snatching the bags from his hand.

"It isn't morning it is evening," he reminded me taking a seat at the dining room table.

"Yeah yea, whatever. Getting used to this human schedule is a bitch." He raised his eyebrow at my foul language, but didn't correct me. I guess royal moroi could get away with that around him.

"I'd like to leave by eight-thirty," he said pointing to the clock.

I drained the bag of blood he'd brought for me, wolfed down two donuts and chugged my hot chocolate before hopping in the shower. An hour was so not enough time to get ready for my first day of college.

I ransacked my entire closet trying to figure out what to wear. What did college kids wear these days? I finally settled on a pair of hip hugging jeans and a black chemise that hugged my tiny curves.

"Damn, I wish I had my figure back," I muttered annoyed at my lack of ass and tits as I gave myself a once over in the full-length mirror. I stepped into my combat boots, dabbed on some lip-gloss, ran my hands through my now below the shoulder hair and sighed. This was as good as it was going to get. I fumbled in my closet for my stake that I kept just in case, stuffing it into my boot along with my Swiss army knife. I wanted to be prepared even if I knew that my best weapon was my fire magic.

"Okay, I'm ready," I said re-joining him in the living room.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked.

"Uh, no?" I questioned wondering what else I could be forgetting.

"Your book bag," he said.

"Oh, that, uh I don't have one. I'll get one today on the way home." How many books could I possibly need for communications classes?

"Are you sure you don't want to drive?" Dimitri asked for the fifth time as he accompanied me to the garage that housed my stash of vehicles. Yes including the ones I'd inherited from all the rest of my deceased family members I had seven. Seven cars for one person. That was entirely ridiculous.

"You know maybe I will drive. I haven't tested out the Mazaratti yet," I said with a gleam in my eye. I watched in amusement as his face paled a few shades.

"Just kidding. You go ahead and pick whichever one you want to drive," I said tossing him the keys. I knew he hated my driving. He'd nearly keeled over on the way to the zoo. Plus I knew he preferred to drive and even though I loved to be in control, I loved him more and I wanted him to feel useful. Being the ever-sensible one, he chose the black Mercedes SUV, which was by far the least conspicuous option.

"Way to be boring," I muttered. To my surprise, he not only opened the door for me, but also turned the radio station to the mix.

"What happened to the country western crap?" I asked as we pulled out the gates of the royal court.

"I thought we could compromise, you know somewhere between the eighties and now."

"Sounds good to me," I told him wondering how Soraya could get him to compromise, but I never could. It hurt for a minute until I realized that he was only giving in to her because she was a royal and his charge and making her happy is what he perceived his job to be.

We arrived at the campus a little after nine. My first class wasn't until ten, but Dimitri was anything if not punctual.

"Where are we going? Isn't my first class this way?" I asked as he steered me in the opposite direction keeping a keen eye out for trouble.

"You're going to go to class without books?"

"Right, books," I said as I realized we were heading towards the campus bookstore.

My eyes widened as the pile of book in Dimitri's arms grew higher and higher.

"What are you building the leaning tower of Pizza?" I asked as he added yet another one.

"That's Pisa," he corrected me. "And no I'm just getting the books requested by your professors."

"Well they must be nuts if they think one person can read all of those in a semester," I complained.

"Let's go put these in the car and then we can find your first class," he said beckoning me to follow him.

"You can do that, I'm going to go check out the quad," I told him.

"You cannot go unaccompanied," he argued.

"What? Why not? It's broad daylight!" I huffed.

"Still, you are a princess and one of the last Lazar's. I cannot allow you out of my sight. Just come to the car with me and I'll escort you over there after your first class."

I rolled my eyes, but grabbed a stack of books and followed him back to the car.

"You know you're a real killjoy," I said as we reached the classroom where my first class was being held.

"If you stay alive, then that is all that matters. I will be right outside in that small lounge," he said pointing to a spot across the room with a few tables and chairs that were set up. There were a few vending machines and a couch or two scattered around as well.

"Fine, I will see you in an hour," I told him.

"Actually this class is one hour and thirty minutes," he said referring to the copy of my schedule he'd saved to his phone.

"An hour and a half, that's crazy, who can sit still that long?" I whined.

"If you need to reach me, you have my cell on speed dial," he said ignoring my childish tantrum.

DPOV

I was sitting in the lounge across from her room engrossed in one of my westerns, when my phone beeped with a text.

_**~Help me! I'm dying**_

My heart leapt into my throat as I dropped the book and reached for my stake. I lumbered towards the classroom and burst through the door.

"Can I help you?" the gray haired professor asked taking off his glasses and wiping them with a cloth.

"Uh, this isn't the library," I said quickly assessing that there was no danger in the classroom, just a variety of wide eyed young adults gaping at me and the silver stake I wielded in my hand.

"No it isn't. Now if you'll be so kind as to leave, I have a class to teach," he said seemingly annoyed. I took one last look at my charge, who seemed more amused than shocked at my behavior before retreating back to the lounge.

"What the hell was that?" she asked as she exited the classroom forty-five minutes later.

"You said you were dying! You asked for help," I pointed out as I paced the floor in agitation.

"Uh, if you read it closer, you'd see that I said I was dying of… boredom," she said holding up her phone and showing me the end of the text, which I hadn't bothered to read.

"Well I didn't get that part," I growled.

"Apparently," she muttered.

"Well it's good to know you're on such high alert," she said trying to make me feel better about my embarrassing outburst.

"You really shouldn't be texting in class," he scolded me.

"Oh come on, it was so boring. I was about to fall asleep. It was worse than Alto's class."

"Well regardless of how bored you were, you should try to pay attention. Did you say Alto?" I asked looking at her inquisitively.

"What? No, I said Rialto," she corrected me laughing nervously.

I nodded, not quite knowing what it was about her answer and body language that bothered me, but there was something. Something was not quite right. Either that or my mind was still playing tricks on me. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"Where to next?" she asked.

"You have one more class today. It starts in an hour in the L building."

"Ugh do I have to?"

"I don't see how to get a degree without going to class," I said. There really was something different about her. I hadn't known her at all before the attack, but I did snoop through a box of her things that she was throwing out and amongst other things, her report cards from high school and college had been in there. She'd never had anything less than an A so it surprised me how disinterested in school she was. Not to mention how odd it was that she'd changed her major two weeks prior to the start of the semester and in her junior year no less which would mean she would most likely not graduate on time and have to do summer school or an extra semester.

The first few weeks of the semester were uneventful. As it turns out she had one class in common with Lissa so I had some company guarding her Tuesday Thursday morning class. I noticed several oddities about her as the semester progressed. For one, she was still training like a mad woman; she rarely started her assignments on time and spent a lot of time trying to catch up from her procrastination. She also began spending more and more time with Lissa. I was glad they were becoming friends for both their sake, but something about the way they interacted so easily puzzled me.

It was now the first Friday in October, she had only one class that met from ten to eleven, and then we would be heading straight back to court so she could sleep before her royal council meeting. I waited as usual outside her class, but as the students began to trickle out, I didn't see her. I figured she stayed after to speak with her professor, but when I saw her exit with her briefcase a few seconds later, I began to worry.

I made my way over to the classroom and when I was nearly there I heard shouting coming from inside followed by a loud cry, a smacking noise and a loud crash. By now I was sprinting and I skidded to a halt as I entered the classroom ready to defend my charge against whatever was threatening her.

"What happened? Are you okay?" I asked rushing to her side as she stood panting, but okay.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," she stated pointing to the person on the ground.

RPOV

I was sitting in class staring blankly out the window as usual. I don't know why people ever wanted to go to college. It was such a waste of time. Well, I guess it wasn't for most people, but for me it was. I didn't go to normal school where they taught us to write papers and give speeches or do mathematical calculations. The only things I learned in school were how to throw a punch, drive a stake through a strigoi's heart and use the height of my attacker against him or her. There wasn't a single thing in my upbringing that prepared me for the rigor and monotony of these classes. The reading was impossible, the papers were tedious and the professors were stuffy.

I tapped my pencil on my desk, discreetly watching the seconds until class ended tick down on my I Phone.

"So I can see you're not a big fan of this class either," Dominic, the pain in my ass who sat behind me commented.

"What was your first clue?" I snarked. He was actually somewhat cute, but excessively interested in harassing me. I'd told him on more than one occasion that I was seeing someone and yet he continued to pester me to let him take me out and in his words, show me a good time.

"Well for one, you don't take notes. Second, you're continuously playing Candy Crush on your phone and last week you were sleeping with your eyes open."

"What can I say; I'm just talented I guess." I turned around and feigned attention hoping he would get the hint and leave me alone.

When class ended, I barely noticed as the rest of the students filed out of the room. I was too distracted by a herd of ducks that were swimming in the pond across the quad. Of course, no human could see that far, but with my moroi sight, it was as if they were right next to me. I grabbed my stuff and was about to leave when I realized I was not alone.

"Where are you hurrying off to beautiful?" Dominic asked leaning against the desk blocking my path of exit.

"In a hurry to get away from you," I snapped. "Now move!"

"I like it when they play hard to get," he said inching closer, still blocking my path.

"Seriously dude you don't know who you're messing with," I hissed trying to get past him. I might not be able to take on a strigoi, but a human boy with no fighting skills, I was sure to dominate.

"Come on baby, you know you want me."

"Uh actually I don't. I told you, I have a boyfriend. He's right outside the door waiting for me."

"So what. That's what makes this that much more exciting," he responded placing his hand on my thigh.

"You have five second to remove your hand unless you want to lose it," I growled.

"You're so cute when you're feisty," he said grabbing the back of my ass and pulling me closer to him.

"I was so hoping I wasn't going to have to kick your ass," I groaned.

"Bring it on. I like a little kink," he urged his hot breath against my neck.

"Last chance," I offered which only caused him to squeeze my ass harder and groan as he tried to grind himself up against me.

"You asked for it!" I cried bringing my knee up swiftly connecting with his groin before punching him square in the nose.

"You bitch," he howled in pain, dropping to his knees clutching his groin and his nose, which was bleeding.

"Like I said you asked for it." I turned to grab my books when he lunged for me. I grabbed his arm flipping him easily over my shoulder causing him to crash down on a desk splintering it in two as he fell to the floor crying out in pain.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" he spat.

"Me? You're the one that just sexually assaulted me!" I cried. By this time Dimitri had arrived no doubt having heard the crash.

"What happened? Are you okay?" he asked rushing to my side in concern.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," I said pointing to where Dominic lay on the floor clutching his manhood in a puddle of his own blood.

"What did he do to you?" Dimitri asked or rather snarled.

"Nothing, it was nothing. It was just a rude comment. Let's just go," I said grabbing his arm trying to steer him towards the door. He wouldn't budge though.

"Did he touch you?" he asked his eyes blazing.

"What?" I cried. "No, no he didn't," I lied knowing if I told him the truth, he'd lose his cool. He had far less self-control since returning to his dhampir state and even less since my death. We were just about out of the room when Dominic opened his big mouth.

"Your girlfriend has a sweet ass, feels nice and tight between my fingers," he said cockily.

"Oh crap," I muttered as I felt Dimitri tense beside me.

"Dimitri don't," I pleaded. "I already took care of him. He's learned his lesson. He's not going to do it again. Am I right?" I asked giving Dominic a pointed look that said agree with me or you're going to be in a world of pain.

"Oh I'd do it again. It was well worth the beating she gave me," he taunted. That boy so had a death wish. A slew of Russian curse words escaped Dimitri as he clenched his fists tightly. I closed my eyes in anticipation of Dimitri kicking his ass to kingdom come.

"Get up!" he demanded.

"Get up or I'll make you," he repeated through gritted teeth.

Dominic obeyed scrambling to his feet. He probably realized for the first time that if I could kick his weasley little ass then a six foot seven Russian could probably kill him with a single blow. Dimitri proceeded to grab him by the neck lifting him at least a foot and a half off the ground.

"If you ever lay a hand on her or any other girl ever again, I will hunt you down, pull out your rib cage and wear it as a hat!" he roared. "Do you understand?" He menaced.

"Ye ye yes sir, I'm s s sorry," Dominic stuttered, his eyes wide with fear. I could tell that in his terror, he had wet himself and it would only be a matter of time before it was evident.

"Good, now transfer out of this class immediately," Dimitri instructed dropping him on the floor in a heap.

"And clean up this mess!" He grabbed me by the arm pulling me out of the room quickly.

DPOV

"Don't you think that was overkill?" she asked as we got into the car. "I told you I could handle him. He wasn't a threat!" she said. I couldn't answer her though. I was still seething with rage.

I remained silent the entire drive. What was I supposed to say? I knew I overreacted, but she was in danger. I was her guardian. I was supposed to protect her. At least that is what I was trying to convince myself had happened. In truth, I hadn't acted like a guardian. I had acted like a jealous boyfriend. I didn't know what it was about her that made me feel that way. She hadn't needed me to threaten him. She'd done a fine job of teaching him a lesson herself, but still, the way he had looked at her like she was a piece of meat made me want to knock that cocky smirk off his face and pound him until he bled. That wasn't a normal reaction of a guardian whose charge had been sexually accosted. It was the reaction I would have had if someone had threatened Rose.

**Uh our Comrade might be starting to have feelings for his charge! She needs to be careful. One more slip up like when she said Alto and he's definitely going to be onto her. Who wants her to call him Comrade? Review and I'll throw a mild lemon into the next chapter=)**


	21. Chapter 20: Why Can't You See Me?

**Chapter 20: Why Can't You See Me?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

DPOV

"Soraya, where are you?" I called as I entered her apartment. She hadn't answered the door and I was a little worried. She was supposed to meet me at the gym this evening for a special training session, but she never showed.

"I'm in the bedroom," she called.

"Are you alright?" I asked knocking lightly on her bedroom door.

"No, I need help."

Without hesitation, I burst through the door. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. I had expected her to be in trouble, maybe weak from lack of blood or something else. What I did not expect was to find her sprawled out across her bed wearing a slinky black negligee and thigh high fishnets held up by a garter and black stilettos.

"Uh, I thought you said you needed help," I gulped willing myself to look away from her beautiful scantily clad body.

"I do need your help. I seem to have at itch I can't scratch," she purred patting the bed next to her.

"What?" I asked tugging at the collar on my shirt that had suddenly become far too tight.

"Come on you know you want me. We've been skirting around this for months," she said in a sultry tone beckoning me towards her with her index finger. I stood rooted firmly in the doorway. There was no way I could do this. She was my charge, a royal moroi and no matter how much I wanted her and oh did I want her, there was no way I was going to do this.

"I love it when you play hard to get," she said rising to her feet sauntering over to me. I shuddered in pleasure as she pressed me up against the wall with force placing her hands on my chest.

"Don't you think it's about time we stopped playing cat and mouse?" she breathed sexily in my ear.

I was unable to tear myself away from her advances as she lifted the edges of my shirt pulling it over my head. I allowed her to continue her ministrations my breathing becoming heavy as she used her soft lips to caress every part of my chest moving their way up. It was as if she knew exactly how to drive me insane as she placed her lips just under my right earlobe sucking gently.

I cursed in Russian before giving myself entirely to the experience. I grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her swiftly into the air. She wrapped her legs around me tightly as I brought my lips to hers possessing her mouth feverishly. We tumbled down on the bed with her beneath me. My eyes and hands perused the length of her body from her smooth legs all the way up to her mid thigh.

"Don't stop," she moaned looking me in the eye.

In the heat of the moment, I knew that what we were doing was wrong not only because I was her guardian, but also because I was betraying my Roza in the worst way. I couldn't stop myself though. She was intoxicating. The way she smelled, the way her skin felt beneath mine, the taste of her lip-gloss. It was all so familiar. My hands found their way under her nightgown and her moaning increased further fueling my desire to be with her. I caressed the soft swell of her breast while my lips pressed slow sensuous kisses along her jaw line.

"Comrade, I need you," she moaned as I tangled my hands in her hair.

"Roza," I murmured holding her close as I tore at her nighty. Wait, what was going on here? Did she call me Comrade?

"Roza?" I questioned, my eyes flying open searching for my angel. Instead of Soraya's deep blue eyes, I was looking down at my brown-eyed girl. She was just the way I remembered her.

"Comrade, I need you to see me. Why can't you see me?" she asked a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I can Roza, I see you," I cried clutching her against my body, knowing that this was too good to be true.

I sat up suddenly, panting. I threw off the covers and put my head in my hands. This was the third dream I'd had this week. They all started and ended the exact same way. Inevitably, I would end up in bed with my charge and I would close my eyes only to open them and find Rose staring back at me instead. She always asked me the same question. Why can't you see me? It was maddening. What did it mean? It had to mean something.

RPOV

"Someone has to stand up for them," I stated rising to my feet. We were in the middle of a royal council meeting and things were not going well. Why is it that royal moroi always think that us dhampirs exist solely for their pleasure and protection?

"I still think we should revisit the idea of changing the graduation age from eighteen to seventeen," Princess Alexandra Drozdov stated, retaking her seat at the request of the royal guard. Things had gotten pretty heated and I followed suit, taking my seat as not to upset Lissa, who was beginning to get flustered. On the outside, she was a picture of serenity, but I could feel her agitation at Princess Drozdov and several of the other council members who supported her.

"There isn't reason for that. Things are going well with the defensive magic programs," I argued.

"Yes, that makes me feel so much better to have a bunch of moroi protecting us," she snorted. "Why do we even have guardians then? If you're saying that moroi can protect themselves, then why don't we just get rid of the dhampirs? They're just a nuisance to have around anyhow." I could feel my blood begin to boil at her racist comment.

"I didn't say we don't need guardians. I just said that with moroi helping, we have a sufficient supply," I retorted trying hard to keep my cool.

"Says you, who has a guardian. What about the moroi who aren't as lucky as you?" Prince Henry Badica spoke up.

"She's not lucky. You should see who she has as her guardian. I wouldn't want him! He used to be Strigoi!" Princess Drozdov exclaimed wrinkling her nose in disgust.

I was about to jump out of my seat and throttle her for insulting Dimitri, but Lissa stood instead.

"That's enough!" she thundered banging her gavel quite loudly.

"I will not have anyone defiling Guardian Belikov's character or bashing the dhampir race. Guardian Belikov was turned by force and was restored by me and my spirit magic. He is a first-class guardian and was, for a time, part of my royal guard and if you're going to besmirch his name or make light of what guardians do for us, then you can relinquish your guardians and fend for yourselves," she cried, her chest heaving. I could feel her darkness creeping into me as her anger level rose to heights I hadn't thought her capable.

"We are not changing the age law. It isn't up for discussion. Meeting adjourned." She stood and without waiting for her guardians to escort her, vacated the room leaving the entire room shocked at her very un Lissa like move.

"Should have known better than to elect a teenager," Prince Badica muttered.

"What was that? Did I just hear you blaspheme our Queen?" I asked glaring at him.

He shook his head at me. "Your father would be so disappointed in you," he stated, walking away.

I laughed internally knowing my father, Abe Mazur, would absolutely not be disappointed in me. In fact, I think he'd be very impressed at how well I stood my ground against those arrogant aristocrats.

I hurried out of the room, glancing at my watch. I was running late for my sparring match with Christian. He'd learned a lot these past few months and I couldn't wait to test him on the skills we'd practiced last week. It was always fun kicking Sparky's ass. He was getting pretty good though. I had to hand it to him, he was a quick study and with the weight training I'd been having him do, he was becoming stronger every day. In fact, he was much stronger than I was physically, but I had the distinct advantage of years of fighting experience and strategizing on my side.

"Hey fireball, ready to get your ass kicked?" I called out approaching the old church.

"You're going to kick my ass in that?" he scoffed taking note of my pencil skirt, button down blouse and pumps.

"Well I have no doubt that I could, but I wouldn't want to ruin a perfectly good dress outfit on your ugly face." He rolled his eyes at me as I grabbed my backpack and headed into the church.

I emerged five minutes later ready to pummel his pasty white carcass.

We circled for a few minutes before I gave up on getting him to throw the first punch.

He dodged it and I came at him from the side landing a decent one to his left pectoral. He grimaced, but pushed on striking out at me with his left foot, which I dodged and came back with my own roundhouse to his abdomen. He lost his footing, but recovered quickly. He landed a slightly awkward blow to my left shoulder to which I responded with an elbow to the chin.

"You hit like a girl," he chided.

"So do you," I countered jabbing him in the chest, effectively knocking the wind out of him.

We went on like this for about twenty minutes exchanging blows and blocking attacks. I decided at that point I was done playing nice guy. Things were about to get real. I anticipated his fake to the right. Ducking left I dropped to the ground, kicked his legs out from beneath him and threw my body over his drawing my stake, placing it directly over his heart.

"You're dead," I panted.

DPOV

"Dimitri have you seen Soraya?" Lissa asked as our paths converged. I was on my way to locate my charge. She should have just come from the same direction as Lissa, but I hadn't seen her.

"Not since last night. I thought you had a royal council meeting. Was she not there?"

"No, she was there. I was hoping to catch her afterward, but since I left quite exacerbated and lost track of her."

"I take it the meeting did not go in accordance with your plans," I surmised.

"Not in the least," she said pinching the bridge of her nose.

"You looking for the princess?" Hans asked having overheard our conversation.

I nodded. "You know where she is," I stated.

"Sure, it's a little after one, she should be in the woods with Lord Ozera."

"What? Why would she be in the woods with Christian?" Lissa asked.

He shrugged. "Not sure. The two of them meet out by that old abandoned church at about this time most days. Have been for months."

"Thank you for your help," she replied.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"Go out there and see what they're up to," she said marching purposefully towards the forest.

"Are you coming?" she asked.

I nodded falling into step beside her. I couldn't after all let her go out there unaccompanied. Besides, I was far too curious to see what they were up to not to go along. I had been trying to determine her whereabouts these past few weeks in the afternoons without success. That charge of mine was stealthy. If she didn't want to be found, then it was an impossible task. She seemed to disappear around this time nearly every day and re-emerge sometime around three or three-thirty.

When we reached the old church, I pulled Lissa behind a tree motioning for her to remain silent so we could observe without being seen. At first we only saw Christian, but a minute later Soraya emerged from the church wearing gym clothes.

They bantered for a few minutes and then instead of practicing offensive magic like I had expected, they began to fight, hand to hand combat.

"What are they doing?" she whispered as we continued to scrutinize their behavior.

"Sparring."

"But why? And where did he learn to fight like that?" she asked as bewildered as I was by their seemingly accurate methods of attack. Soraya seemed to be the coach because she was clearly holding back. Her moves were calculated and precise whereas his were awkward and clumsy. Their banter between hits was playful. Upon further inquiry, I recognized a familiarity to her fighting style.

"Did you teach her to fight like that?" Lissa asked. I had just been wondering that myself. They moves she was executing were similar in style and stance to the ones I used myself. Too similar to be just a coincidence.

"No, I didn't. She asked me to teach her to fight, but I refused."

"Well she must have had some training because as far as I know, Christian had absolutely no fighting skills. She must have taught him," she mused.

"It seems so," I agreed. As I had previously detected, she was holding back quite a bit and when she became bored of toying with him, she amped up her game and used a move that I distinctly remember teaching Rose, to knock him off his feet. She pinned him down and held her stake directly above his heart.

We watched two more rounds of their sparring before Christian was too fatigued to continue.

"Hey, before you go can you teach me that move you did on me last week?" he asked. They were both bruised and a bit bloody, but she shrugged.  
"Okay, but if you think you're sore now, then just wait," she snickered as he made a face.

"Okay start with your right knee bent like this," she showed him. "Then pivot your body to the left, and touch down your right foot immediately behind your left," she commanded demonstrating the move.

Is she teaching him what I think she's teaching him? I asked myself. It couldn't be. She couldn't possibly pull off that move. It was extremely difficult even for an experienced martial arts expert. It had taken me six months to perfect it.

"Next, spin your body around with maximum speed and momentum while jumping so that both your right and left feet are off the ground," she explained showing him with accuracy how to position himself. "Now swing your left foot around in an arc while the right foot immediately follows in a kick to the face," she finished her foot coming within an inch of hitting his face.

"I think maybe that is too much too soon," he said unable to duplicate her move. I stood my mouth agape as she laughed at him, patted him on the shoulder and grabbed her gym bag.

"Maybe next time Sparky," she called over her shoulder as she began walking our way causing us to scramble frantically out of her way.

"What in the hell was that? Can you even do that?" Lissa asked, once she was out of earshot.

"I can, but it took me a long time to perfect it."

"Could Rose do it?" she asked.

I thought for a minute and smiled. "She was able to perfect it in less time than it took me," I said proud of my girl.

"I miss her," she sighed as we started back towards the main area of court.

"Same here," I mumbled suddenly feeling very drained. I hadn't slept well the past few nights what with my dreams and all. It didn't help that I'd been losing a pint and a half of blood every other day.

"Are you going to tell her you know she fights?" she asked as we reached the palace gates.

I shook my head. "No, I think I'll let her tell me, if that is what she wants. What about you? Are you going to confront Christian?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure right now. I think I'll sleep on it. It isn't like they're doing anything illegal. Besides, I'm not opposed to moroi knowing how to defend themselves, not that it would be enough against a strigoi, but as Tasha proved, strigoi aren't the only enemy we have to face."

After making sure she was safely inside the palace, I trudged home. Today had been a long day and I was looking forward to grabbing some dinner and going to bed.

CPOV

"So what did you do all day?" Lissa asked as we sat down to dinner.

I shrugged. "Practicing my defense."

"Defensive magic?" she asked.

"More or less," I said hoping she wouldn't push it.

In truth, I wasn't just sparring with Soraya, I was investigating her. I knew it was silly, but a few months ago Andrew Badica had come to me with a proposition.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Hey Ozera!" I glanced behind me as I heard someone calling my name. It was Andrew Badica who was struggling to catch up with me. **_

"_**What can I do for you? If this is about defensive magic classes, you have to go sign up with Guardian Croft." **_

"_**Actually that isn't what this is about. I was wondering if I could ask you a favor." **_

"_**Okay shoot," I said. I didn't really know him that well, but he seemed like an okay guy and I heard from Lissa that Soraya had given him the boot. I felt kind of sorry for him. **_

"_**Well I know that my girlfriend, err ex-girlfriend, you know Soraya, well I heard that she is taking private magic lessons with you." **_

"_**That may or may not be true, but even so, what does it have to do with you and this favor you want?" **_

"_**Look, Raya and I have been together since we were children. I know her better than anyone. This isn't like her. I watched your first session. Raya isn't a rookie at performing magic. She could light a forest on fire when we were fourteen. The stuff you're having her do is child's play."**_

"_**What is that supposed to mean?" If she was so adept at performing fire magic, then why was she pretending to need help?**_

"_**Something is different about her. Ever since the attack she's been acting peculiar. I can't put my finger on it just yet, but something is very wrong." **_

"_**Could it be that you're reading into things because she broke off your engagement?" I asked skeptically. **_

"_**Why does everyone keep saying that? I know her. She wouldn't have broken up with me. We were in love. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Ask her anything about her life before the accident. I guarantee you she won't give an appropriate answer." **_

"_**Why is that?" I asked becoming slightly unnerved at his bizarre behavior. He sounded like a lunatic.**_

"_**Because she doesn't remember. She woke up with amnesia and she won't admit to it. She can't remember a thing about her old life. I even found her rifling through her old school papers to see what type of magic she specialized in," he nearly shouted at me. **_

"_**Woah dude, you have to calm down," I said corralling him over to a more secluded section of the court. **_

"_**I'm sorry. It's just that her inner circle is difficult to penetrate these days. The only people she talks to are the Queen, her Guardian and you." **_

"_**So say I believe that you're right and she is walking around with some sort of amnesia. What is it that you want me to do?" I asked still not understanding my part in all this. **_

"_**I just want you to observe her behavior, ask her some friendly questions. You guys spend so much time together, personal things are bound to come up at some point." **_

"_**I suppose I could poke around a bit, but I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for." **_

"_**Just observe her and I'll be in touch," he said. "Thanks for all your help." **_

_**End Flashback**_

I had been unconvinced of Andrew's sanity when he first approached me, but curiosity got the better of me and as I began scrutinizing her behavior, I came to believe he was telling the truth. She was odd for a moroi. She had nearly no knowledge of how to control her fire magic after having practiced it for nearly ten years, but she had a wealth of information and skill when it came to hand to hand combat, weight training and defensive strategies. She also had a really snarky attitude for a royal moroi and her respect and defense of the dhampir race was entirely unconventional for someone of her status.

By the time classes at Lehigh started back up, I was compelled to think that she was an entirely different person that the one who had been attacked that day. Numerous things about her made absolutely no sense. She apparently freaked out at the feeders asking for blood in a bag. She switched her major junior year from French Literature to Communications, which was entirely bogus. She teased me like she and I were old friends and she could kick my ass at the drop of a hat. A few days ago, I spoke to her in French, which she was supposedly fluent in and she had absolutely no clue what language I was speaking let alone what I had said. I was more and more convinced that there was merit to Andrew's accusations only I didn't think she was suffering from amnesia.

I asked her random questions about her life to which she and Andrew both fed me carbon copy responses. It was almost as if she'd been coached on what to say or she'd read it somewhere and memorized it. After the move she pulled today while we were sparring, I was more sure than ever that she was not Soraya Lazar. I just couldn't figure out who was impersonating her and what their end-game was. One thing was for sure, whatever spell she was using to compel us to believe she was Soraya was very hard to see through. Despite all that, I was determined to figure out her identity by any means necessary. She was spending more and more time with Lissa and I wasn't about to put her in danger.

**Hey, you asked for a lemon and for her to call him Comrade, both of which I hand delivered… granted not in the way you expected. Hehe don't kill me! It's too early for him to figure it out and way too early for them to jump in bed together. So do you think Dimitri will take his dreams seriously. It seems like someone is trying to tell him something. When is he going to put all of his clues together, he has so many! What about good old Sparky? I'm thinking he's close to catching on. Who will figure it out first only time will tell. **


	22. Chapter 21: Happy Birthday to Who?

**Chapter 22: Happy Birthday to who?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**Uh oh! Someone is about to find out who she is=) Read on to find out who.**

RPOV

"Any special plans tonight?" Dimitri asked as we walked side- by- side back to my apartment. We had just finished our workout. Much to my surprise, he had agreed to spar with me for the first time.

Flashback

"What are you doing?" I asked as I watched him lay mats down on the ground.

"Well, I thought that maybe you'd want to spar a little."

"Excuse me what?" I asked. "My ears have to be deceiving me. You said you'd never fight with me," I reminded him.

He shrugged. "I changed my mind. I'm interested to see what you can do. Only if you're game though," he stated taking his stance.

"You're on," I said nearly clapping my hands with glee. Now despite how strong I'd become and the moves I'd mastered, I was no match for Dimitri's brute strength, but that was okay. I was going to win this fight. You can't kill what you can't touch or at least that was the theory I was going to test out. Hopefully it would end with my victory and not with me on my ass.

I took my stance opposite him and waited for him to strike first, which he did. I ducked out of the way knowing he always started off with a hit on the left. Most people would start with the right, but he was always different that way. What was really working to my benefit was the fact that I knew his moves so well that I was able to dodge each and every one of his blows even thwarting the roundhouse he threw at me by grabbing his leg and knocking him to the floor. He was quite surprised that he'd yet to land a hit on me and that I hadn't made a move to hit him back. I decided my best offense was not to have to use it. I was positive that it would work against any threats I would face. I knew if I punched him in the face, I would break my scrawny little moroi hand on his chiseled chin. Damn stupid moroi weakness.

The look on his face told me he was going in for the kill and just as I suspected he anticipated that I would know he would come at me from the left so at the last minute, he came at me head on and I was prepared having known he would change it up at the last minute. I stepped to the side, he stumbled and as he did, I used both arms bringing them down like a jackhammer on his back. He tried to right himself, but I'd taken him by surprise and he was unable to recover. I used my legs to trip him so he was on his back and placed my hands over his heart panting, as I looked deep into his chocolate brown eyes.

"You're dead!" I breathed. The look of pure amazement and adoration in his eyes rivaled the day I beat him in the fake strigoi attack during my trials. My body pressed up against his, both of us sweating felt so right. It would be effortless to close the gap between us and press my lips to his and for a moment, I could tell that's what he wanted too. The door to the gym opening broke the trance we had fallen into and we both scrambled to our feet. It would not look good for either of us to be caught in a compromising position.

End Flashback

"Nope, no plans," I said. "Why?"

He gave me a funny look, but didn't elaborate.

He handed me my daily ration of blood, which I gulped down eagerly, exhausted from our grueling workout and sparring match.

"It looks like this was slipped under your door," he said holding up a bright pink envelope.

I opened it to reveal a note written on Lissa's personal stationary.

"What is it?" Dimitri asked curiously, as he helped himself to a protein bar from the cupboard. I usually stocked them just for him.

"It's a note from Queen Vasilissa. She is calling a dinner for the members of the council tonight and is requesting my presence."

"That sounds like fun," he said.

"Fun?" I scoffed. "Nothing about spending time with all those pretentious royals is fun."

"So you're not going?" he asked almost seeming nervous.

I shrugged. "I have to go. It's not like I can so no to the Queen," I muttered. Again, he eyed me suspiciously.

"What? Do I have blood on my chin or something? Why do you keep staring at me like that?" I demanded.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like you know something I don't."

"I'm just wondering how you learned to fight like that so quickly." I had been contemplating whether or not to tell him about my magic and combat sessions with Christian for a while now, but a few days ago I picked it out of Lissa's brain that she and Dimitri had caught on to our secret meetings and had actually watched one of them last week. I wondered if that was why he wanted to spar with me now. He knew I could hold my own and wanted to test me.

"You are?" I teased raising my eyebrow at him skeptically.

He nodded.

"You know you're not a very good liar," I said. Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrow at me.

"I saw you and Lissa watching me and Sparky fight last week," I lied.

His jaw nearly dropped to the floor. It was not often that someone called him out on his stealth or lack thereof in this case or so he thought. I hadn't really seen him, but how was I supposed to explain picking it out of Lissa's brain.

"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies," I teased playfully slapping him on the shoulder.

DPOV

I left her apartment flummoxed. Today had been surreal. I'd chanced it and decided to spar with her thinking I'd get in a few soft hits before taking her down. Her form when she'd fought Christian was impeccable, but her strength was still far inferior to my own. The way she'd anticipated every single move before I did it left me wondering if she could read minds or if she'd been secretly stalking me and studying my fighting style. Although as of late, I hadn't really fought with anyone on a regular basis.

I literally hadn't been able to touch her. She had played the ultimate game of keep away and then used my own strength and height against me. It was an impressive strategy and one I knew she couldn't have learned from Ozera. He was an amateur and sloppy at that. The question was if I didn't train her then who did? It had to be someone I knew or had trained with previously. Her fighting style last week and today were nearly identical to the moves I'd taught Rose at the Academy. I needed to find a guardian who she was sneaking around with. I didn't know why it bothered me, but it definitely did, more than it should have.

I went back to my apartment to have a shower and change. There was no dinner tonight for the royal council. Lissa had been dubious in sending that letter to ensure Soraya would be in attendance. In reality, it was a surprise 21st birthday party for her. I was surprised she didn't already have plans, but in retrospect, she'd broken it off with Andrew and her family was all gone. Who would she have had to go out with anyway? It wasn't as if she kept other friends here at court besides Lissa and I guess Christian. I'd seen her a few times with Adrian and Jill and that alchemist whom I was told were all coming to the party.

I showed up at her place dressed in my guardian attire at a quarter to seven as per Lissa's request.

"What are you doing here?" she asked genuinely confused.

"Queen Vasilissa asked me to escort you to the dinner. You never can be too careful," I said.

She nodded allowing me inside. She wasn't even remotely ready to leave. Clothing was strewn about, her hair was still up in a towel and she was wearing her bathrobe.

"You're not ready," I stated the obvious.

"Relax; it's just a stupid dinner. I can't figure out what one wears to a fancy shmancy royal dinner," she griped.

"Did she say it was formal?" I asked knowing it wasn't.

"Well no, but still, I don't want to look like a shmuck." I stifled laugh at her choice of words.

"What about that one?" I asked pointing to a dark blue sleeveless dress.

She shrugged. "At this point who cares?" She grabbed the dress and slipped into the bathroom to change.

"What do you think? Am I presentable?" she asked. A vision of Rose flashed before me from the night of the lust spell and I had to bite my lip to keep from growling. I shook those thoughts from my head.

"You look lovely," I complimented her. And in fact, she did look lovely. The color was very flattering against her pale skin. It accentuated her deep blue eyes perfectly. Her hair which was still the dark color she continued to dye it was now a few inches past her shoulder and flowed in soft waves. She looked nothing like the photos I'd seen of her before she had been attacked.

"You ready?" she asked applying her lip-gloss and tossing it in her impossibly tiny handbag.

I held out my arm for her and we set off for the palace.

To say that she was genuinely surprised by the party was an understatement. When we arrived and Lissa and everyone else yelled surprise, she'd turned and berated me for not telling her it was my birthday. The look of shock on her face when I whispered that it was in fact her birthday and not mine told me she hadn't remembered her own birthday, which was disturbing to say the least.

She played things off rather well to Lissa and the rest as she was whisked away for drinks and appetizers.

"Who got your panties in a bunch?" Adrian Ivashkov said sauntering over to me a drink in hand and his cocky attitude on display.

"Good evening Lord Ivashkov," I managed.

"Oh come now, this is a party. Lighten up," he commanded rolling his eyes.

"She sure is different than before the attack," he mused gesturing to where Soraya was drinking and laughing with Sydney and Jill.

"How so?" I asked picking his brain.

He shrugged. "Hair, clothes, beliefs, class schedule, friends to name a few," he responded.

"She suffered a traumatic experience. That changes a person," I argued.

He raised his eyebrow at me. "It can, but not to this extent."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Nothing, just rambling like the drunk I am," he said. "Hey Belikov, how have you been sleeping lately?" he asked winking at me as he walked away.

RPOV

I was confused to say the least when the royal council dinner turned out to be a surprise birthday party. I wondered why on Earth Dimitri hadn't told me it was his birthday. I had always thought his birthday was sometime in August, but we'd never really discussed it.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" I asked. He again gave me that odd look, bent down and whispered in my ear causing it to tingle.

"It isn't, it's yours." My eyes widened in astonishment and I could feel Lissa's excitement trying to bust out of her as she dragged me over to where Eddie was tending bar.

"Here's your first legal drink, although I'm sure you've had your fair share by now," Eddie teased handing me a fancy cocktail glass.

I mingled with my former or I guess you could say current friends for a bit before stepping outside to the balcony for a breath of fresh air.

"You had no idea it was your birthday did you?" Christian asked coming up behind me startling me with his blunt question.

"Of course I knew it was my birthday. I just didn't expect a party," I said trying to cover.

"Nope, not buying it."

"Well who asked you?" I cried indignantly.

"Answer me one question correctly and I'll believe you," he bargained.

"Fine. Ask me whatever you want," I said fully prepared to divulge almost anything and everything about Soraya Lazar's life. I had come across her diaries some months ago and had been reading and memorizing them ever since for just such an occasion as this.

"What's your zodiac sign?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" I asked trying to wrack my brain to think of what November's Zodiac sign was. All moroi were really into that stuff. I'd completely forgotten about it in all my studies on how to act like a moroi.

"Okay then how about your birthstone?"

"Uh," I stammered entirely unprepared for his entire line of questioning.

"How about a real easy one. Parlez-vous français ?"

Shit shit shit! This was so not good. He was speaking French or at least I thought that was what he was speaking. There was no way I could fake my way through this one.

"I thought as much. I've finally gotten enough evidence to bring this matter to Lissa," he said heading for the door.

"Wait what are you talking about?" I asked blocking the exit.

"You aren't who you say you are. I'll bet you're some sort of spirit user masking your true form with a charm. Which one is it? Your necklace?" he shouted grabbing it from my neck and throwing it to the ground. When nothing happened, he grabbed for my earrings yanking one of them out of my lobe.

"Oww that hurt. What the hell are you doing?" I cried.

"I need to know who you are and why you are here and what you want with Lissa!" he menaced coming towards me.

I tried to think of something to tell him that would derail his suspicions, but wouldn't expose my true identity.

"I have amnesia!" I blurted out remember when Andrew had accused me of it at the gala.

"I don't think so. Try again," he said still coming closer to me so that my back was up against the balcony railing. It was a long way down from here and I didn't know what he was going to do.

"Christian please don't do this. It isn't what you think. I don't want to hurt Lissa. I want to help her," I said trying to get back in his good graces.

"So you admit that you aren't Soraya Lazar," he demanded.

"What no I didn't say that. I am Soraya Lazar."

"I don't buy it. Something about you is different and you're going to tell me what you are hiding or I'm going to light this balcony on fire and make it look like an accident," he hissed.

I knew I could subdue him if I had to, but I didn't want to draw attention from the rest of the guests. I didn't need any more suspicious people out there trying to figure out who I was.

"Tell me who you are!" he commanded yet again.

"Let her go and I will tell you who she is."

Christian whirled around at the sound of Jill's shaky voice.

"You're in on this?" he asked not quite believing it, I supposed.

"Jill please," I pleaded.

"No, he has to know the truth. All they said was that you couldn't tell anyone. I'm not you and you didn't tell me, Adrian did and Sydney told him and she figured it out on her own so you're in the clear. Trust me," she said. I was entirely convinced that she was wrong and I'd be snatched from this existence in a matter of seconds if she revealed my true identity to Christian, but at this point I guess I had no choice.

"Think about it Christian. It isn't difficult to figure out. She fights like a dhampir, she fights for the rights of dhampirs, she acts like a dhampir, she treats Lissa like her best friend in the world and she's head over heels in love with Dimitri. Who does that sound like to you?" she asked. Christian turned back around and looked at me with skepticism. He studied me closely for a few seconds and then it was as if a light bulb went off in his head.

"You call me Sparky," he stated.

I shrugged. "Someone has to make fun of you fireball and no one else wanted the job," I said cracking a small smile.

"Rose?" he whispered a tear rolling down his cheek as he saw me for who I truly was.

"In the flesh or so to speak," I said confirming his allegation.

"How can this be?"

"It's a long story and one I'm not allowed to talk about. Can we just leave it as one of those great mysteries in life?" I asked.

"Wait, how come you haven't told Lissa?" he asked turning to Jill.

"She asked me not to and so did Adrian," she responded.

"How can you do this to her? She's your best friend. She mourns for you every day and every night, but you know that don't you? You're still in her head aren't you?" he asked.

I nodded. "The more people who know, the better chance they have of sending me back and I can't have that. I am here to take the darkness from Lissa. That is why they sent me back. I can't fail her again."

"Fail her?" he asked. "Do you honestly think you failed her?"

"I left her here without her bond mate. That qualifies and failing her," I said softly.

"What you did was nothing less than heroic. You showed your love and loyalty and your true friendship to her that day. She's alive because of you and I'm so grateful," he said embracing me tightly.

"Geez Sparky when did you go and get all sentimental?" I joked holding him tighter. It felt so good to have someone hug the real me that I didn't even care that it was Christian who was doing the hugging.

**Uh oh Sparky Knows! Who will be the next to figure it out? Will she get in trouble? Review and you shall find out. Lots of drama coming up next chapter.**

**If you don't hear from me in the next week I apologize in advance. I am having a wisdom tooth extracted Saturday and that will keep me drugged up and tired for a day or two. Then I am also starting some new medications for an ongoing medical issue. They are supposed to have some unpleasant side effects that may make me tired, pukey and really sore. (Don't worry, I am not dying, just trying to fix some annoying medical issues that have arisen this past year.) I promise that I will update ASAP and who knows maybe I will feel just fine. **


	23. Chapter 22: Run

**Chapter 22: Run**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**Okay so thanks for bearing with me and waiting on pins and needles for this chapter. Tooth is feeling fine and I am back in business! This Chapter is going to amaze you I promise! Happy reading! **

RPOV

"How late did you say your study group is tonight?" Dimitri asked as my last class of the day together.

"It's until six," I told him. I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that it was the end of November and it would be completely dark by five o'clock. I could already see him staking out the best locations for a quick exit should we run into trouble. That was Dimitri for you always on top of things. I sighed wistfully wondering why I'd never appreciated these things about him when I was alive.

"We should grab a quick bite at the cafeteria. Are you hungry?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I know you are."

"Geez make me sound like a pig or something. You haven't eaten since breakfast," I chided him.

"What are you my mom?" he quipped giving me a sarcastic grin.

Things between us had been strange since my birthday, which I had entirely screwed up. I had no idea it was my or well her birthday and had made the mistake of asking Dimitri if it was his birthday. Ever since then he had been tight lipped and all business. Today was the first day in a long time where he seemed to lighten up. He also hadn't asked me to spar with him since that day to which I was sorely disappointed. Although now that Christian knew who I was, it was a lot easier to get him to fight harder.

"Speaking of family," I said trying to steer the conversation in a direction I knew would eventually blow up in my face. "Have you contacted your family recently?"

I could tell my question unnerved him, but he was trying hard not to let it show.

"I haven't," he responded.

"Have you seen them since, well you know, since you were brought back?" I asked wincing in anticipation of him blowing like Mount Vesuvius.

"Once a person is turned, they are dead," he replied calmly. He left no room for argument as he busied himself with his sandwich. I wasn't going to let him get away with that though and I knew he knew it.

"Do they know you are alive?" I asked. He was quiet for a minute and just when I thought he had ignored my question, he spoke.

"I'm sure word has reached that part of the world that a strigoi had been restored to its dhampir state."

"Right, I know that, but don't you think that if they knew that you were that dhampir, then they would have attempted to make contact with you?"

"Like I said, once you are turned, you are dead," he repeated in a tone that warned me to drop it.

I took the hint and we ate the rest of our meal in silence.

I tapped my foot in irritation as I listened to the other people in my study group prattle on and on about things I couldn't care less about. I really wasn't cut out for college life.

When it finally ended Dimitri was waiting for me in our usual spot.

"How was your class?" he asked being polite as usual.

I shrugged. "I have no patience for school. I sometimes wonder what I'm even doing here. I'm not that smart."

"You shouldn't say things like that," he said shaking his head in disapproval.

"Why not it's true? I never have been. I nearly failed out of high school," I muttered. Again he gave me that funny look he'd been using on my so often.

We had parked a ways away from the entrance to the building. It was dark and the snow was really coming down. There was already a few inches on the ground and the visibility was low. There were few cars around due to the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. We were about halfway there when I felt the familiar pangs in my stomach signaling me that strigoi were near.

"What's the matter?" Dimitri asked as I doubled over in pain.

"Strigoi," I grunted. He jumped into action placing himself in front of me drawing his stake.

"Did you see one?" he asked. I shook my head in negation.

He continued to survey the area while we walked towards the car at a steady pace.

"Stay behind me," he commanded, as two strigoi appeared about ten yards away.

My heart began to race as they advanced on us.

"Well well if it isn't the Lazar Princess," one of them sneered as they stood now only twenty feet away.

"From what I heard, one of my friends snapped that pretty little neck of yours. I'm dying to know how you survived that one?" I remained silent knowing that what he said was true. I just hoped Dimitri wouldn't read too much into his banter.

"Don't worry, we'll finish her off this time," the other one said.

"Remember what I told you," Dimitri growled shoving the keys into my hands as he took his fighting stance. I knew what he wanted me to do, but I couldn't. I couldn't run and leave him there to fight on my behalf. What if something happened to him? I would never be able to live with myself. I had to stay and help.

"Don't be stubborn do as I say!" he cried as the two Strigoi made their move.

One lunged straight for Dimitri and they began to fight while the other one came for me. I stood there calmly allowing him to think he had the upper hand. Just as he reached me I let loose something Sparky and I had been working on for a while now and his head burst into flames. He was thrown off guard, surprised that I was able to inflict such damage with my magic, but it didn't deter him for long and he was furious. Dimitri was still fighting the first one who by the looks of it had been a rather large and skilled guardian before he was turned. I knew it was going to take more fire magic to completely incapacitate the one in front of me.

I ducked a blow as he regained his senses. His head was now smoking, but had burned out a lot quicker than I had anticipated. I was going to have to do better than that if I wanted to survive this. I summoned ever ounce of strength and magic I could and focused on his torso. It took a little longer than I thought and he managed to throw me to the ground. I could feel his fangs on my neck and just as he sunk them into my flesh, his chest burst into flames and he fell onto the ground next to me howling in pain.

"You bitch!" he spat.

"Now now, it isn't nice to name call," I chided struggling to my feet. I was dizzy as hell from his bite and he'd managed to take a bit of blood as well, but I wasn't finished with him just yet. I moved swiftly as I didn't have much time until my fire burned out, especially with all the snow coming down. I pulled the stake out of my boot, clutched it in my hand and attempted to drive it up under his sternum just like Dimitri had taught me. Of course now, it was a lot more difficult because I was about as strong as a kitten, but I was also determined and once I put my mind to something, I followed through. I threw all of my weight against it and finally managed to hit my mark. I collapsed in a heap next to the charred remains. It was only seconds before Dimitri finished off his strigoi and was hovering over me.

"Soraya? Can you hear me?" he asked quickly pulling off his duster, laying it under my head shielding it from the snow.

"I'm fine, "I said in an attempt to reassure him. I was not fine, but I didn't want him to know that. I was exhausted, dizzy and weak from blood loss and the exertion I'd used to wield my magic.

"You are not fine," he said, his voice laced with worry. "You're bleeding." He tore off a piece of his t-shirt and placed it against the side of my neck.

"I need to get you to safety. Do you think you can stand?" he asked.

"Sure, no problem," I said as he helped me to my feet. I wobbled unsteadily before collapsing in his arms.

"Just hold on, everything is going to be just fine," he said.

I must have passed out because when I woke, it was no longer freezing. I was huddled in the back seat of the SUV under several blankets. The vehicle wasn't moving though.

"Dimitri?" I called out weakly.

It was dark and I was freaking out a little that I was alone in the car. A few seconds later, the door opened and a seemingly frozen Dimitri got behind the wheel.

"What happened? Why are we stopped?" I asked.

"Flat tire," he stated.

"Do we have a spare?" I asked hoping we would get moving soon. I needed blood.

He shook his head. "We do, but it isn't going to hold up in this storm. I looked out the window and it was practically a blizzard out there.

"What are we going to do?" I asked my teeth beginning to chatter even though the heat was on full blast.

"I can attempt to drive a short distance, but not all twenty miles back to court. According to my GPS there is a motel about a half a mile up the road." He drove slowly, careful not to accelerate too fast or we would run off the road.

He pulled into the parking lot and looked at me and then at the door to the motel indecisively. I knew he was debating on whether or not he could leave me here while he went and got the key.

"I'll be fine for two minutes, just go!" I said.

He sighed. "I can't, it's against my better judgement," he responded opening the back door.

"How will you explain the blood?" I asked as he lifted me into his arms.

"Like this," he said wrapping me up in his duster, pulling it closer around my neck. I managed to stay upright as we walked into the building, but just barely.

"We need a room for the evening," he said to the man behind the desk. "We have a flat tire and my wife has that nasty flu bug that's been going around," he explained.

"We only have one room available and the heat is on the fritz," he said apologetically.

"That's okay, we'll take it," Dimitri replied handing the man his credit card.

When we got to the room, it was indeed freezing. Dimitri set me on the bed, turned down the covers and tucked me snuggly beneath them.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to fix the heat," he said setting a bag I hadn't noticed before down on the table adjacent the radiator. After banging around over there for a while, the radiator began to clank. It sputtered to life and heat poured into the room.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" I asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

He shrugged. "I used to fix a lot of things back home in Baia."

"How are you feeling?" he asked taking out another small kit from his bag. It was a first aid kit.

He pulled the duster from around my neck and examined the wound.

"Why didn't you run?" he asked.

"If I had, you'd be dead," I stated.

"You don't know that and even if that was true, that is my job. I'm supposed to die for you."

"I can't let you do that," I said attempting to sit upright failing miserably as my head spun.

"I know you're all about the defensive magic, but you can't go putting your life in danger like that. Your life is worth so much more than mine," he argued.

"Stop saying that!" I cried. "You're life is just as important as mine."

He smiled. "I admire your innocence," he replied smiling at me as he began to dress my wound. I hissed as the disinfectant burned my skin.

"It only hurts for a second," he said gently caressing my cheek with his hand before gently brushing a stray strand of my hair out of my eyes. His touch sent shivers up my spine. He pulled his hand away and I felt bereft at the loss of his touch.

He got up and began pacing the room.

"I phoned the royal court earlier and they said as long as we are safe for tonight, then they won't be able to send anyone to get us until tomorrow morning," he said.

"That's okay. I feel safe here with you," I told him. I was more than thrilled to be stuck in a hotel room with him and only one bed. That combined with the fact that he called me his wife at the front desk were making this a pretty good day for me.

"It's not okay. You need blood," he stated. While I would have liked to refute his statement, it was the truth. I felt terrible.

"It's okay," I can last until morning," I lied, hoping to make him feel at ease.

"You aren't a very good liar," he said taking a seat on the edge of the bed like he'd done earlier.

"I know, but there isn't anything we can do about it so why worry," I said forcing a laugh.

"That isn't exactly true," he said a strange look taking up residence on his face.

"What isn't? You have a blood bag just lying around?" I scoffed. He did seem to produce them out of thin air, but I hardly thought he carried them with us to school every day.

"Not exactly, but I do have blood," he said.

Now it was my turn to give him a funny look. He remained quiet. It was then I realized the implications of what he'd just said. He was looking at me the way I used to look at Lissa right before I would let her take my blood.

"Oh no!" I cried. "No I can't do that. We can't do that."

"Don't be stubborn. You're so weak, you can barely stay conscious. You need to feed," he said coming closer.

"You want me to feed from you when you saw how I nearly killed Walter? You must be insane," I said.

"You can do this. I believe in you," he said tying his hair up from where it had come loose.

"I can't, not after…," I trailed off.

"Not after what?"

I wanted to tell him, not after he felt so guilty for taking blood from me all those times, but that wouldn't make any sense to him.

"Not after I nearly killed Walter. I could hurt you or kill you or become strigoi," I cried trying to help him grasp the grim reality of what he was asking me to do.

He laughed a little. "You're not going to kill me. I am much stronger than Walter and I won't let anything bad happen. I let you down earlier tonight, but I will not fail you now," he said, his voice thick with emotion.

I gulped, a tear leaking out of my eye. I wanted so badly to just tell him who I was and throw myself into his arms.

"Shh, don't cry. I promise, you will feel much better once you've fed."

I nodded realizing this was the only way. "Promise me you'll stop me before I take too much. I'll just take a sip or two to tide me over."

"It's okay. Take what you need. I'm a big guy, I'll be just fine."

He helped me sit up placing me gently in his lap.

"Are you ready?" he asked. I took a deep shaky breath before baring my fangs to his neck. He smelled so damn good with his woodsy aftershave mixed with perspiration from his recent battle with strigoi. It reminded me of the way he smelled the first time we made love in the cabin at St. Vladimir's.

"Don't be afraid Soraya," he whispered. I felt his pulse strong and steady against my lips. I sunk my fangs into his flesh slowly drawing the blood from his vein. The sensation of his blood flowing down my throat evoked feelings in my body that lay dormant for the last six months. My ache to be with him the way we had been that night in the cabin was oppressive. All I could think about in this moment was our two bodies melding together as one. I did my best to pull myself from that haze. I realized I was satiated and pulled away gently trying not to hurt him. His face was relaxed, but I knew he was fighting the endorphins. As I wiped the blood from my mouth, something hit me like a bucket of cold water. I suddenly knew where Dimitri had been getting my blood supply. I gasped reeling back in shock.

"You've been feeding me your blood?" I cried a small sob escaping my throat at the thought of what he'd done for me these past six months.

"Soraya, it isn't what you think," he defended himself.

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

He sighed. "You needed blood and there was no other way to get it."

"Oh Comrade," I whispered, my heart swelling with love for him.

DPOV

The way she was looking at me said that she wasn't angry, which was a complete shock to me. In fact, instead she began to cry. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she stared at me in awe.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

She nodded and continued to sob.

"Are you angry with me?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I just don't understand why. Why would you do that for me?"

In truth, I didn't really know what possessed me to give her my blood. From the moment I met her, there was something about her that drew me in. I had this intense need to protect her. When she was taking my blood just moments ago, my body ached to be with her, to feel her beneath me as I made slow passionate love to her. I looked up into her blue eyes shining with an ocean of tears. All I wanted to do was pull her close to me and comfort her. She was waiting expectantly for an answer that I couldn't give her.

"You're my charge. It is my duty to protect you," I said gruffly hoping that would satisfy her curiosity.

"Now who's lying," she asked.

"Look it's late. I'm going to go down the hall to see if there is a vending machine. Stay here, don't open the door for anyone," I said exiting the room quickly leaving her dumbfounded behind me. As soon as I closed the door, I leaned heavily against it. What was happening to me? I was falling for my charge. How could I let this happen?

Earlier when I'd seen her lying there on the ground all I could think was that I couldn't lose her, not again. It was silly though. I didn't even know her that well, but I felt like I did. Everything about her was familiar. The way she laughed, her mannerisms, her eating habits, her sarcastic wit, the friends she chose, the way I caught her looking at me sometimes as if we were the only two people in the whole world. I was truly astounded by the look on her face when I told her that her life was worth more than mine and the way she defended me so earnestly was odd for a moroi. In fact, she didn't act like a moroi at all. What really floored me though, was that I'd spoken with every guardian at court and not one of them would admit to training with her which begged the question. Where did she learn to fight like that?

I stood there another few minutes trying to figure out what it was about her that was so alluring. When I failed to draw any conclusions, I decided it was best to go and get her some food and the retire for the evening.

"Thanks for the chocolate," she said. I had come back to the room to find that she'd showered and cleaned the blood off of her neck. She then offered to clean the wound on mine. I declined not being able to be in such close proximity to her without having the urge to tear off her clothes. My self control was declining rapidly as of late.

"So there's only one bed," she stated biting her lip nervously, which was driving me insane with lust.

"I can sleep in the chair," I offered.

"That's silly. It's a hard wood chair. There's no way you're going to get any sleep," she argued.

"That's okay. I'm used to it."

"Come on this is silly. The bed is big enough for two. Besides it's my fault we're stuck here."

"How do you figure?" I asked.

"It was my silly study session that made us stay out after dark."

"You have the right to be out after dark. That is why you have a guardian," I said.

"True, but you have to admit that I was pretty badass killing that strigoi and all," she said her eyes lighting up. In truth, I was very impressed and kind of proud of her for her kill earlier this evening. I was also angry that she put her life in danger for me. On the other hand, she was probably right. Without her, I may have met my end. Tonight had been very confusing and my mind was swirling with all the things that didn't add up. I needed a good night's rest and she was right, I wouldn't get that sitting upright in a rock hard chair.

"I suppose you are right. The bed is rather large. I just don't want you to think I'm inappropriate. You are my charge after all," I said.

"Just get in the bed Dimitri," she demanded rolling her eyes. I complied dutifully, both of us sleeping on opposite ends as not to come into physical contact during the night.

I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew I was back in the cabin at St. Vladimir's. I rolled over gazing at the beautiful girl beside me. She smiled at me contently lying there bare and beautiful for my eyes only.

"Roza," I breathed pulling her close to me. "Why did you leave me?"

"What are you talking about? I'm right here," she said wrinkling her nose at me. "No, you left. The only time I can see you is in my dreams."

"You're not looking hard enough. I've been right in front of you all this time. Why can't you see me?" she asked.

It was the same every night. I knew I was dreaming and I didn't want to wake up. "Don't leave me tonight," I whispered kissing her softly.

"I won't. I'll be right there next to you when you wake up. I promise Comrade," she said.

I woke up in a cold sweat. "Comrade?" I whispered looking at the sleeping girl beside me.

"She called me Comrade!"

**Aha! You thought he missed it, but he didn't. He wasn't quite paying enough attention, but he heard it, he just didn't remember until his dream. Why is he having all those dreams? Anyone wondering what's going to happen next? Reviews make me write faster=) We all know you want the next chapter. Tell me how much. **


	24. Chapter 23: Soulmates

**Chapter 23: Soulmates**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**Okay, not going to lie. This chapter isn't very long, but hey you guys are the ones who didn't want to wait! Happy early 4****th**** of July! Happy reading=)**

MPOV

"Too many people know about her. If Guardian Belikov figures it out, then we're going to have to terminate this agreement and bring her back here."

"No, you can't do that," I argued. "She hasn't done anything wrong. The instructions were that she couldn't tell anyone who she really was. So far, she hasn't told a soul."

He sighed. "While that is true, I still don't like the idea of people knowing what we did."

"It isn't like it hasn't been done before," I snapped. "Rose isn't the first person to earn her way back down to Earth."

"While that's true, she's the only one who's ever been figured out."

"That's only because so many people loved and cared about her while she was alive. You know she's a bigger asset down there than any other soul who's ever been sent back. She killed a freaking strigoi last night for Pete's sake."

"I guess you're right," my superior said stroking his long white beard. "I don't like it, but you're right, she hasn't broken the rules. I see no reason to bring her back right now. Come to think of it, she just might be the one to change things down there. When the royal council hears about her recent kill, the defensive magic programs will finally get the validation they need."

I sighed in relief as he walked away from me. Secretly I was rooting for Rose to have all of her friends including Belikov discover her true identity. She deserved to be happy and so much more. Even more secret than that, was the fact that a part of me was saddened that she wouldn't be returning up here. I had some sick hope that when she died, we could be together in the afterlife. I loved her so much, but alas, her being back on Earth just proved over and over again how made for each other her and Belikov really were. He'd discovered her true identity last night and I was anxiously waiting and watching to see how the whole thing played out.

RPOV

I was roused from sleep by the feeling of someone watching me. I opened my eyes to find Dimitri leaning on one elbow staring at me with a beautiful smile on his face.

"Morning," I said stretching my arms above my head lazily. I had slept better last night than any other night since I'd been back. Just the feeling of contentment knowing that Dimitri was lying next to me was bliss. Waking up next to him and having his face be the first thing I saw was very pleasant as well.

"Good morning," he said as I rolled over to face him.

"Has the snow stopped?"

He shook his head. "No, it looks like we're in for a blizzard."

"Does that mean we are stuck here?" I asked, hoping it was true. I'd do anything to spend more time with him.

"I phoned the court this morning and they asked if we would be alright another night or if they needed to send a helicopter."

"What did you say?" I asked holding my breath.

"I said my charge is a badass, who killed a strigoi last night and that I thought we'd survive one more night," he said with a smirk. Inside I was jumping up and down like a cheerleader with her shorts on fire, but I tried to remain calm and collected on the outside.

"So, any way we're going to get breakfast?" I asked, my stomach already rumbling.

"There's a diner attached to the other end of the motel. We can eat there if you want," he said not moving from his spot on the bed. He seemed far more relaxed than usual. I weighed my options carefully. On one hand, it was positively divine lying here next to him and I didn't want it to end, but on the other, I was starving and I knew nothing was going to happen between us. He was still hung up on the guardian rule-book or whatever it was he was using as an excuse not to pursue me.

"I'm ready when you are," I said hopping out of bed.

All through breakfast he kept staring at me like I was drooling on myself or something. I couldn't figure him out. He'd been really uptight since my birthday, but now he seemed to be back to normal or well even better than normal. I'd never seen him smile so much, not even for the real me.

"Would you like some more bacon?" he asked flagging down the waitress.

"Sure," I said forking the last of my pancakes into my mouth. "There's always room for more bacon," I joked. He smiled at me again and this time, I almost thought he was going to cry for a minute, but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone.

"So what shall we do for the rest of the day?" I asked as we headed back to the motel.

"That would be up to you," he said placing his hand on the small of my back as we entered the room.

"Although it is snowing pretty badly, it really isn't that cold. What do you say we make a snowman?"

"Only you would think of something like that," he said, chuckling.

"So you're game?" I asked hopeful that he would play along. We had very few opportunities to just enjoy ourselves and I didn't want to waste one moment of it.

"Your wish is my command," he said grabbing his duster.

We were nearly finished making the snowman and I was putting the finishing touches on the face, when I went down like ton of bricks after being pelted in the back of the neck with a snowball.

"You're dead, you know that!" I screeched hurrying to my feet, packing snow into the tightest ball I could form.

"Only if you can catch me," he shouted.

I took off after him trying to chase him down, but man was he fast. My short moroi legs could not keep up. About halfway across the property he decided to turn the tables on me and now it was my turn to run from him.

"You know I'm going to catch you so why fight it," he breathed against my neck as he grabbed me from behind smashing a snowball in my face. I lost my footing and suddenly we were both on the ground laughing our asses off.

"This is fun," I said turning to face him.

"It is," he said brushing my hair out of my face.

My heart thundered in my chest as I realized that we were in the perfect position for him to lean down and kiss me. Normally, I wouldn't have read anything into his playful demeanor, but something was different about him today. The way he looked at me earlier said something about him had changed.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered stroking my cheek softly again with the back of his hand.

My breath caught in my throat. This was it, this was the moment I'd been waiting for and now that it was here I was nervous as hell. What if Soraya was a bad kisser? What if she had bad breath? What if we had no chemistry? All those questions were answered as he leaned in capturing my lips with his.

There weren't words to describe how absolutely amazing it felt the moment our lips touched. Despite the cold of the snow on my back, fire shot through my veins as he cupped my face in his hands pressing his body up against mine. He continued to possess my lips with his moving one hand so it rested on my hip and the other found purchase in my hair. It was exactly the same way he had always held me. My body responded him the way it always did. I curled myself into him wrapping my arms around his neck allowing myself to melt into his touch. All my doubts flew out the window. Our chemistry was just as red hot as it had always been.

After what seemed like only a few seconds, he pulled away. I waited for him to freak out and say it was a mistake, but he didn't. He just gave me one of his heartfelt smiles and pecked my lips again. When I finally caught my breath I realized our hands were now intertwined. This was very unlike Dimitri to be so relaxed and carefree and making out with a moroi. It was actually quite shocking.

"Are you okay? You're being very quiet," he asked squeezing my hand as he brought it to his lips kissing it softly.

"I'm great, more than great. Are you?" I asked nervously.

He nodded. "I'm perfect," he stated. This was unreal, I thought as he continued to gaze at me with his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

"Why don't we get up out of this wet snow? We can't have you freezing to death now can we?" he asked holding out his hand for me. "That wouldn't make me a very good guardian."

I took his hand snickering a little that he was worried about me catching a cold when not a minute ago, he'd been sticking his tongue down his charge's throat, not that I was complaining. In fact, I was on cloud nine trying to keep myself from skipping around in circles crying out he likes me he really likes me. We spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch watching reruns on the old television set in our room. He sat behind me playing with my hair, stopping ever so often to place a gentle kiss on the nape of my neck sending shivers all down my spine. We didn't talk much and the silence was just as comfortable as it had always been.

"Are you hungry?" he asked at around eight o'clock. The snow had stopped falling, but the roads were still barely plowed.

I nodded. "You know me. I can always eat," I said.

"So I've noticed," he teased kissing my lips softly.

"That isn't what I meant though."

"Oh, uh, no it's okay. I can wait until we get back to court," I stated getting his underlying meaning.

"Either way, it isn't a big deal though," he offered.

"I couldn't, not again. Last night was an emergency. I can wait," I insisted. In truth, I wasn't sure I could continue taking the blood he gives me now that I know that it comes from him. It wasn't right for me to ask him to continue doing that. He needed his strength. He was a guardian, not a feeder and I didn't want him thinking I would use him as my own personal blood whore. I was going to have to figure out how to feed from the source and fast. What he was doing was generous and entirely unselfish and a part of me loved the fact that it had been his blood that had been sustaining me these last six months. Even though taking blood from him last night had made me feel more connected to him than ever, it was wrong and it could not happen again, no matter how good it felt.

He nodded. "So diner food it is then," he said pulling me to my feet.

DPOV

After I woke from the dream, I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I kept going over the last six months in my head and I couldn't believe how utterly stupid I'd been. Somehow, Rose's soul had ended up in Soraya Lazar's body. Now that in itself was difficult to believe and if someone had even suggested the possibility of the woman I loved coming back from the dead in another woman's body two years ago, I would have been the first person to have them locked up for insanity. Now though after everything that had happened and the things that were indeed possible, the thought of her being here on Earth again wasn't that ridiculous. In fact, it was the best news I'd had in eighteen months.

I had suspected that something about her was off since the day I met her, but this, this I did not expect. Things were beginning to add up in my head now. The fighting, the memory lapses, getting rid of Andrew Badica, the hair dye, fighting for dhampir rights, being afraid of feeding, missing the sunlight, her eating habits, her taste in clothing, music and her choice in friends. They weren't anything at all like Soraya Lazar, but they were every bit like my Roza. She had even changed her major because Rose could not speak a lick of French. What that strigoi had said was likely true. Someone had snapped Soraya Lazar's neck and somehow Rose's soul was thrust into her empty vessel. I'm betting it had something to do with keeping an eye on Lissa, who seemed to be doing much better since Soraya arrived at court.

What I was really curious to know was why she didn't just tell me who she was. Something told me that there was a reason, a good one and I didn't know if I would be hurting her by admitting that I knew who she was. There was also the slim possibility that I was wrong about the whole thing and that I was the one who had gone insane.

After kissing her though, I knew I wasn't wrong. The moment our lips touched, it was like we were made for each other. There had been chemistry between us for a while now, but I would never have acted on it had she actually been Soraya Lazar. It wasn't that I was prejudiced or even that it would have been controversial for a royal moroi to be with a dhampir. Those were both obstacles that would have been difficult to overcome, but there was one thing I would never be able to get over and that was Rose. All these months that I'd been so attracted to her both physically and emotionally were because my soul recognized hers.

Spending the day alone with her like this was more than I could have ever asked for. There were so many questions, things I wanted to ask her, but I refrained. If my silence was the only way we could be together, then I would keep her secret with my dying breath. The only thing I knew for sure right now is that I needed to be with her and nothing else mattered.

Spending a second night lying next to her knowing who she was and not having her in my arms was going to be torture, so I decided that if she really as my Roza and I was sure she was, that she wouldn't mind if I held her.

"Is this okay?" I asked placing my arms around her, pulling her as close to my chest as possible burying my face in her freshly washed hair.

"It always has been," she whispered snuggling deeper into my arms, a tear leaking out of her eye. I tightened my arms around her falling asleep content for the first time since my world ended.

**So he knows, but she doesn't know that he knows! I'll bet you didn't see that one coming=)**

**Early updates deserve reviews!**

**Happy 4****th**** of July. **


	25. Chapter 24: Bloodlust

**Chapter 24: Bloodlust**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

These past two days being away from court alone with Dimitri had been surreal, but now it was time to go back to living in the real world. Dimitri had dropped me off at my apartment because he had a guardian meeting. Here I was standing in line at the feeders waiting for them to call my name. I wondered if I'd have the guts to feed normally now that I knew that the only other way I was getting blood was to use Dimitri as my own personal blood bank. I was not okay with that, so this was going to have to work.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I thought Dimitri was getting you blood from somewhere," Christian asked standing in line behind me. I needed him here to pull me off in case I couldn't stop. I didn't want Dimitri to know that I wasn't going to let him feed me anymore, not just yet. He would insist it wasn't a big deal, but I knew better. He didn't like the whole blood thing ever since he had been turned and I didn't want him re-living his horrors just because I was a wuss who couldn't feed properly.

"I'm sure," I told him steeping forward as they called my name.

I was lucky that it wasn't Walter I was feeding from today. I didn't want to give the poor man a heart attack. The feeder today was Pearl. She was a younger woman, but still a decent size. I took a deep breath, bared my fangs to her neck and began to draw blood. I stopped after a few seconds, pulling away gracefully.

"What's the matter? You were doing great. Why did you stop?" Christian asked.

"I had enough. It's all good," I replied wiping my mouth on my sleeve.

"I highly doubt that," he snorted.

"It didn't taste good okay, " I admitted reluctantly. In fact it tasted so putrid, had I swallowed another mouthful, I would have vomited all over the place.

He gave me a funny look and took his turn feeding from Pearl. "Tastes fine to me," he said shrugging after her finished.

I shuddered. Her blood had tasted vile to me. It was worse than anything I've ever tasted before. I wondered if fresh blood could be rotten. I supposed not, but then what could it have been? I decided to figure it out later. I was already late to meet Dimitri in the gym. Tomorrow I would feed from a different feeder and it would be better.

"Oh my God," I cried nearly gagging as I took blood for yet another feeder. It was the fourth time I'd been here this week and not one of the sources had given me anything I could stomach.

"Are you sure you're finished Princess?" Guardian Larue asked as I took a step back.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said although it was far from the truth. I was starving and there was no way I'd make it through practice today without at least a pint. I had two choices ahead of me. Either I could go back to my apartment and drain a few of the bags that had been piling up in the back my refrigerator or I could try it again here.

"On second thought, I think I'll have a little more," I said wanting to try again. As it turns out that was a very bad idea. I ended up gagging so hard I threw up blood all over Guardian Larue. Talk about the most embarrassing day of my life as Princess Lazar. I'm just glad Sparky wasn't here to witness it or I'd never live it down.

"Would you like me to escort you to the clinic?" he asked being very understanding about his now blood stained clothing.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you," I said scurrying out of there as fast as I could. I was still thirsty, but there was no way I was going to be able to feed in there again. It was humiliating.

My stomach turned again at the thought of taking Dimitri's blood. I decided it was better to be hungry than to feed from the man I loved. I cleaned myself off and headed to practice.

"You're not on your A game today," Dimitri pointed out as he landed an easy blow to my left shoulder. He'd taken to sparring with me more often these days. I knew he was holding back some of his strength, but I had been getting in some pretty good hits myself.

"I'm just tired. Give me five minutes and I'll mop the floor with you," I panted guzzling down my water bottle. It was useless, there was no way I could fight him. I was exhausted and thirsty.  
"You look pale," he said with concern placing his hand on my forehead.

"I'm moroi, I'm supposed to be albino," I snapped. My attitude didn't seem to faze him. He placed his hands on my shoulders forcing me to look at him.

"What's going on with you today?" he asked. Now he was acting more like my mentor than my guardian. I should have found that comforting, but all it did was make me ache for him in ways I couldn't describe.

"Nothing, I'm fine!" I growled, attempting to shake his hands of me.

"You aren't fine," he argued gripping me tighter.

I sighed. "I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night." It was the truth after all. I hadn't slept well since those two nights we spent together in that crappy motel. I needed to feel his arms around me. I had tossed and turned in his absence and my thirst was definitely not helping.

"I didn't either," he admitted rubbing the back of his neck.

"Why not?" I asked wondering what could possibly be keeping him awake.

"I missed you," he admitted.

"You did?" I asked my head snapping up. He missed me? My heart rate sped up at his admission.

"I did," he said cracking a small smile.

"I missed you too," I said pushing myself closer to him resting my head against his chest.

He let out a breath of air and wrapped me up in his strong arms.

"I think it's time to call it a day. I will walk you home," he said putting his arm around my shoulder as we walked.

"Would you like me to make you some dinner before I go?" he asked loitering in the doorway. It was like he wanted an excuse to stay here with me. If only he knew that he didn't need one. I never wanted him to leave.

"Go?" I asked. "Who says I'm letting you leave?" I teased opening the door wide beckoning him inside.

"I like it when you're forceful," he said stepping through the doorway.

"Dinner sounds good," I said leaning heavily against the sink. I was so tired, I could barely hold myself up.

"You haven't touched your dinner. Are you sure you're feeling alright?" he asked.

"I'm really okay, just not too hungry. I think I'm going to go take a bath. Would you mind clearing the table?" I asked standing abruptly, which was a mistake. My head began to spin and before I knew what was happening Dimitri rushed forward catching me as I fell.

DPOV

"Roza," I cried as I watched her fall, leaping forward just in time to catch her before her head made contact with the edge of the table. I carried her over to the sofa, lying her down gently against the cushions. Her eyes fluttered open as I fanned her face with a magazine.

"What happened?" she asked, disoriented.

"You fainted."

"Oh, I must be more tired than I thought," she said attempting to stand.

"This cannot be simply because of fatigue," I stated. "Let me get you some water."

"No, don't go back there," she cried scrambling to her feet, but it was too late.

"What are these?' I asked pulling out at least half a dozen pints of blood.

"Extra blood bags," she said.

"Try again," I deadpanned waiting for her explanation.

"I can't drink it," she said.

"Why not?" I demanded wondering if there was something wrong with my blood.

"Because it's yours!" she shouted.

I sat down at the table, not knowing what to say to that.

"What is it about it being my blood that bothers you exactly?" I asked knowing full well what the real reason was. I knew she was thinking about when I had taken her blood when I was strigoi. I wanted her to know that this wasn't the same. She wasn't asking me for it and she certainly wasn't taking it against my will.

"I just can't. It isn't right," she said softly looking deep into my eyes.

"So you haven't been taking blood at all?" I questioned.

"I went to the feeders."

"Then why are you so tired?"

"I didn't exactly take enough," she said.

"Are you still afraid? If you are, you have nothing to worry about. I know you would never hurt anyone," I said trying to reassure her.

"No that wasn't it."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. It just didn't taste good. It was rotten or something. I couldn't stomach it," she said wrinkling her nose.

"Well some moroi prefer specific feeders. You just have to find one you like," I said knowing from experience, that all blood did not taste the same and that some was definitely a lot better than the others.

"Maybe you could ask Lissa which one she prefers," I suggested.

She shook her head. "I tried four different ones. They weren't just bad. I actually vomited after the last one," she confessed looking ashamed.

"But you are fine when you drink my blood?" I asked thoroughly confused.

She nodded swiping a stray tear that had begun to trickle down her cheek.

"It's okay, everything is going to be okay," I said reaching over and enveloping her in my arms.

"Really? Because the way I see it, things are really screwed up. I can't drink anyone's blood other than yours and I don't want to drink that because I don't want you to feel like a blood whore," she sobbed. "Why do I always have to be such a freak?"

I pulled away and placed my hands on either side of her face. "You are not a freak and I don't feel like a blood whore. It is noble of you to refuse to drink my blood, but if it is what keeps you safe and healthy, I am not taking no for an answer," I said.

"It just feels wrong," she sniffled.

"Does it?" I asked reaching into the refrigerator pulling out a bag.

"No!" she sobbed. "That's what is so wrong. It feels good. It tastes good. It feels like it was made for me," she cried panting as she looked at the bag in front of her with bloodlust.

"Then take it. I want you to," I coaxed, poking a straw through the top of the bag.

"I can't," she said looking away.

"You can," I said holding it out for her again.

I knew she was only refusing because she loved me, but it was frustrating as hell. I wanted to take her into my arms and tell her that I would give her anything including my life, not because she was my charge and I had pledged my life to protect moroi, but because she was the love of my life, the one person in the world that meant more to me than anything else.

"If we have to do this the hard way we will," I told her.

"What do you mean by that?"

I took out my pocket-knife and slowly made a small incision on my left wrist.

"What the hell are you doing?" she cried.

"Enticing you to do what feels natural," I said placing my wrist under her nose.

"Please don't," she begged, closing her eyes.

"Don't fight it," I urged bringing my wrist closer to her mouth. She inhaled sharply, before letting out a feral growl latching onto my wrist with force. I closed my eyes enjoying the euphoria that washed over me as she fed.

She pulled back abruptly. "I'm sorry," she cried.

"Don't be," I responded. "You need blood, and I need you," I growled pressing her up against the wall a little harder than I should have greedily possessing her lips. She responded hungrily wrapping her legs around my waist. I could taste my blood on her tongue and usually it would cause me nothing but disgust, but right now it was lighting me up like a firework. With one fluid motion, I cleared the counter of its contents lifting her up she was sitting atop it with me standing between her legs. I pulled at the hem of her shirt desperate to feel what was underneath. She writhed beneath my touch making no attempt at all to stop me as her hands found their way under my shirt. It would be so easy for me to take her right here, right now hard and fast and at the rate were going it wouldn't take any convincing on my part, but this wasn't how I wanted it to be. I didn't want the first time I made love to her in over a year to be hasty and rushed on a countertop. I wanted to take my time with her and familiarize myself with her new assets one inch at a time. So as wonderful as it felt to have her pressed against me like this, I had to stop.

"I think we are moving too quickly," I said pulling away.

Her eyes were dilated and her cheeks flushed with a healthy glow and it took all of my self-control to keep space between us.

"What are we doing?" she asked shaking her head.

"Well we were kissing," I said trying to lighten her up a little.

"No, I mean us, you and me, together like this. I can't do this," she cried jumping off the counter.

"What do you mean this?" I asked grabbing her wrist as she attempted to leave.

"This!" she cried gesturing towards me and then herself.

"It bothers you that I'm a Dhampir?" I asked knowing full well that wasn't it.

"What? No! How could you even say that? Of course not."

"Then what is it? Why can't we be together?" I asked. "Is it about the blood?"

"No, it isn't that. I just, I mean can you handle this?" she asked.

"Handle what?"

"Me," she stated.

I laughed a little. She wanted to know if I could handle her. I wanted to say, if I could handle her back at the academy, then I could sure as hell handle her now. She had come a long way since then, but I refrained.

"I'm a royal moroi, the Lazar Princess. Isn't this against your guardian code or something?"

"Guadian code?" I wasn't aware that such a code was in existence.

"Yes, you know that mask you put on and hide behind whenever things get tough," she said. Suddenly I knew where she was going with this. She was insecure. I had struggled with the rules back at the academy always taking a step forward with her and then two steps back, but that was different. She was underage and my student. This was not the same. She was of age and although she was royal, it wasn't against the law for us to be together. More than that, wild horses couldn't drag me away from her. I wasn't giving her up for anyone or anything not now not ever.

"Listen to me. This thing between us, this thing I feel when I'm around you, it's real and I'm not going anywhere," I said cupping her face in my hands.

"So that's it? We're a couple now?" she asked in disbelief.

"If that is what you want, then yes," I said.

"You mean it? You won't care what everyone else thinks?"

"I've never allowed others to dictate my life. I've never done anything I wasn't one hundred percent sure of."

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," I responded kissing her with passion.

RPOV

Holy hell, I'd finally gotten him to admit his feelings for me. My heart soared and then dropped as I realized that for him to actually give it a go with me as Soraya, that he had truly gotten over me as Rose and that stung a little. I knew it was for the best and that being with him was worth whatever heartache it caused me to know that he had put our love in the past and moved on, but a part of me still ached that he could be with another woman even though we were frighteningly similar which is what drew him to me in the first place.

"Would it be presumptuous of me to ask if I could stay the night?" he asked once again completely blindsiding me with his forwardness.

"Well technically yes, but I find it quite charming," I said holding out my hand for him. My pulse quickened at the thought of us together in the same bed, but I was pretty sure from what he'd said earlier about moving too quickly, that he wasn't going to try any funny business just yet. I was prepared either way and given the opportunity I would give myself to him in a heartbeat. As it turns out Soraya had awful menstrual cycles which I'd figured out a few months ago when I was doubled over in pain bleeding like a gutted fish. I'd called up her doctor who'd asked if I'd recently gone off my birth control pills. I told him that yes in fact I had. He was surprised because the main reason he'd given them to me or to her rather was that it helped regulate my cycle. I'd refilled the prescription and had felt so much better after taking them for a month or more. One thing was for sure, this chick had some pretty messed up hormones. So when and if Dimitri wanted to try some funny business, I was prepared.

**I know this chapter was just filler, but I thought you deserved a bit of fluff before anything heavy. What did you think? **


	26. Chapter 25: Molnija

Chapter 25: Molnija

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy

Here it is the next chapter! I hope it lives up to your high expectations.

LPOV

"So you're saying that Princess Lazar killed a strigoi?" I asked my jaw dropping in disbelief as Dimitri refused his second molnija mark.

"She did," he said looking like a proud father.

"Wow, I mean that's amazing."

"I couldn't receive a mark for her kill, it wouldn't be right. Might I suggest giving her a mark of her own?" he asked.

"A moroi getting molnija?" I questioned. That was unheard of.

He shrugged. "It was her kill. Is there a law that states that only dhampirs are allowed to receive marks?"

"Not that I know of," I said tapping my fingers on the table. "Do you think she'd really want one?" Christian had killed strigoi back at the academy and he hadn't received marks. I wondered if he would want them.

"I think we should leave it up to her. It is an honor. She should be able to choose for herself. Don't you think?"

I nodded. "Yes, I suppose she should be the one to decide. If she agrees, then maybe it would be a good PR plug for the defensive magic programs," I mused.

"That's true. I'll bet once people see that someone as tiny as Soraya can incinerate a strigoi, then maybe they won't be so quick to dismiss the idea," he agreed.

"I'll have a talk with her and see what she says. We're supposed to meet up this afternoon."

"Thank you for considering it. I truly believe it will make all the difference," he said.

"Hey Dimitri," I called as he turned to leave. He turned around.

"Is there something going on with you and Soraya?" I asked. I had observed the two of them this past week and it seems that their demeanor towards each other hand been more than a little friendly. Not that it was any of my business what they did, it just made me a little angry that he could forget Rose so easily. I was probably imagining things, but I wasn't so sure.

"You would really have to ask the Princess about that," he stated.

I sighed wondering when my heart was going to stop aching for my best friend. Everyone else seemed to have entirely gotten over her death. They didn't even seem sad anymore. Adrian wasn't sad, Jill wasn't sad, Christian had never really been sad, but he'd been moody. Now Dimitri was attached at the hip with his new charge seeming perfectly happy. I had no idea what was going on. Was I the only one who still cared that she was gone? It was nearly Christmas and even though I knew she didn't like celebrating it, she had always gone along with my cheery Christmas plans moaning and groaning the entire time.

I glanced at the clock and was surprised to see how long I had been sitting here lost in thought. It was Christmas break and school was on hiatus for nearly a month. All court business was suspended so the council members could spend time with their family and friends. It would be two days before Jill would be home from Amberwood and I was getting a bit lonely. I picked up my phone.

"Hey!" Soraya called from across the courtyard. It was snowing lightly and she wasn't even wearing a coat. Sometimes I swore that girl hit her head too hard in that attack.

"I'm glad you were available to come early. I'm dying to be somewhere warm," I said shivering despite my layers of winter gear. We set up shop in our usual spot under the fake sun by the pool.

"I brought margaritas," she said holding up her blender.

"Thank God. I need one bad," I said holding out my glass.

"So I heard that you had a little adventure out in the snow last week," I ventured, hoping she would spill the beans and I wouldn't have to say much. Then if she asked for her molnija, I could tell her that she could get it. If she didn't then I wouldn't have to bring it up.

"Uh, I wouldn't exactly call it an adventure, but I guess so," she responded. "How did you find out?"

"Dimitri received his molnija his morning and he told me," I said hoping she wouldn't be mad.

She spit out her drink all over herself.

"He told you?" she sputtered.

"Well yea, I mean, I have the right to know being the Queen and all."

"Does it upset you?" she asked.

"Of course not. I mean I was a little shocked when I heard, but really, I think it's a good thing. It will pave the way for other moroi to do the same."

"So you're not against royal moroi and guardians being in relationships?" she asked.

Now it was my turn to spit out my drink.

"You're in a relationship with Dimitri?" I gasped.

Her eyes widened. "That isn't what you were talking about?"

"No, I was talking about you killing a strigoi," I clarified.

"Oh," she said flushing crimson.

"So you two are in a relationship?" I asked more than a little curious to know exactly how far things between them had gone.

"Uh, did I say that?" she mumbled guzzling her margarita.

"Yes, you sort of did," I said not letting her get away with not spilling everything.

"Come on tell me," I coaxed.

"There isn't really that much to tell. We've been working out together, going to school together and spending time together. After I killed the strigoi and we had to shack up in that crumby motel things got a little heated and we kissed."

"That's all just kissed?" I asked knowing I was being nosy, but I couldn't help it. I loved some good gossip and this was juicy. Dimitri was so not the kind of guy to get involved with his charge let alone a royal. Something had to be different about her for him to break the rules like this. I mean technically, there was no law against dating your charge, but it was definitely frowned upon especially by other guardians and the royals.

"Well no, I mean yes, that is all we did physically, but..," she trailed off.

"But?"

"I'm in love with him," she blurted out.

"Wow," I breathed. "You're in love with him?"

She nodded. "I am. I can't help it." She had the goofiest grin plastered across her face just the way Rose used to when she talked about Dimitri.

"He is handsome. I can see why you like him," I said hoping I didn't sound too fake. I was really happy that Dimitri wasn't hurting anymore, but a part of me was sad. If Dimitri was moving on then soon there wouldn't be anyone left to keep Rose's memory alive. I just couldn't understand how he could get over her so quickly and I was still hurting.

I listened to her ramble on and on about just how dreamy Dimitri was and all the reasons she fell for him. I could feel the darkness beginning to swirl in my head. I was angry, not with Soraya, but at Dimitri for betraying Rose like that. She would probably be rolling over in her grave right now if she knew that he had taken up with a moroi, a royal at that. Rose was not one to judge, but I couldn't help but wonder how he could have loved a woman like Rose who was all fierce warrior girl and then fall for Soraya, who was a royal moroi. They weren't remotely in the same league. I mean I guess I could see some similarities. They were both beautiful. They both had attitude problems and Soraya did just kill a strigoi using the defensive magic program for which she was an avid advocate. Now that I thought about it, they had much more in common that I originally thought. Species aside, they were practically the same person. I think that is what made me like her so much.

DPOV

It was nearly Christmas and the temperature was frigid, yet being the stubborn woman she was, Rose insisted on trekking all the way out to the old church to spar with Christian. She didn't invite me along so I waited a short while and then followed her. I maintained a distance, but I was still within earshot.

"So what's on the agenda for today oh great one?" Christian asked.

"Shut up Sparky or I'll kick your ass twice as hard."

"Geez, you really are in a mood today . I thought now that you and Belikov were getting down and dirty again you'd be in a better mood."

"Oh I am, I just enjoy making you bleed," she said. "Now let's go. It isn't getting any warmer out here."

"You're the lunatic who wanted to spar in the twenty degree weather," he challenged.  
"Whatever let's just do this already," she said taking her fighting stance.

I watched them spar for a little over an hour.  
"So Jill, Adrian and Sydney are back from Amberwood tomorrow. Lissa was thinking about having a little Christmas party. Are you planning on coming?"

"Ugh, I know she's been planning it for weeks. It's been non-stop Christmas music in her head and it's driving me insane."

"Then stay out of her head," he said mussing up her hair.

"You think I want to be in there? I can't help it. As much as I try to stay out, sometimes she sucks me in without warning. By the way, maybe you should mix it up a little in the bedroom. Would it kill you to give her a little foreplay?" she chided.

"What? Stay out of our bedroom!" he shouted.

"Gladly. You think I enjoy seeing your pasty ass naked?"

My eyes widened as they continued to bicker.

He knows who she is, I mused. Why did she tell him and not me? Jealously welled up inside me wondering if he was the only one who knew or if I was the only one who didn't.

I went to the gym in her absence. Pounding the practice dummies to death was not as therapeutic as I thought it would be. After a long harsh workout, I knew I needed to feed her. She was still reluctant to take my blood, but I had finally convinced her it was the only way. I had no idea why blood at the feeders was making her sick. It hadn't while she was in the hospital. Something was amiss and I would look into it later, but right now I missed her terribly and I wanted to see her.

I had spent every night this week with her in my arms and it was becoming increasingly more difficult for me to spend time away from her. As much as I missed her being a dhampir and her old body, her being moroi and me being her guardian was just about the most ideal life we could ask for. If we were both dhampirs, we wouldn't be able to spend so much time together. We would each be responsible for our own charges and at best, we would spend a day or two a week together. With her as my charge, we could spend all day and all night together every day. I would be responsible for her life and that was something I could live with.

"Soraya?" I questioned letting myself into her apartment with the key she insisted I have.

"Hey," she called out from the other room. "I'll be out in a few minutes. I just need a hot shower."

My ears and other parts of my body perked up at the sound of running water. I could use a shower myself. Just the thought of her naked and wet on the other side of that door drove me wild. I was tired of waiting. I wanted her and I wanted her now. I decided I was done playing as if I didn't know it was her in there. I shed my clothes and hurried to join her.

RPOV

I nearly jumped a mile as I felt strong arms engulf me under the shower spray.

"Krasaveetsa," Dimitri murmured against my ear.

"What are you doing in here?" I gasped. I was more than thrilled at his boldness, but confused as well. There was no way in hell Dimitri would just barge into the shower like this. He was far too much of a gentleman. Then again, he had been surprising me a lot lately.

"I'm tired of playing games," he said his voice thick with emotion. "I want you. I've wanted you for a long time," he growled spinning me around so I was facing the wall of the shower. He pressed his lips to my neck sucking gently below my ear, which drove me insane with lust.

My body reacted to his touch as he began exploring the slight curves of my body with his large calloused hands. I could feel his arousal pressed up against my back and the anticipation of having him inside me was maddening.

He slowly and sensually lathered my body with soap running his hands up and down my body arousing me with every loving caress. I did the same for him paying a little extra attention to his manhood.

When I couldn't take his teasing anymore, I turned to face him kissing him with fervor.

"Take me to bed," I whispered.

He lifted my small frame into his arms and carried me to the bedroom. He hovered over me, our bodies both dripping wet.

"I've never seen anything more beautiful," he said raking his eyes over my flesh. He caressed my cheek gently before making us one. I moaned in pleasure digging my fingernails into the sheets as our bodies connected repeatedly. He held me close against his body making me feel like I was the only woman in the world for him whispering frantically in Russian.

All the sexual frustration and tension that had built up between us these past few weeks melted away as we continued our lovemaking. Physically, he was so much larger than I was, it was slightly painful, but emotionally we fit together perfectly just the way we always had, coming together in a way that only our two souls could. I wanted so badly for him to know that it was me, but I feared that if he didn't feel it by now, that he never would. A tear escaped my eye as he brought me to an intense state of intoxication throwing me over the edge with the flick of his tongue on my aching breast. He growled animalistically as he joined me in ecstasy.

After, he held me close against his body, both of us breathless, our sweat mingled with the droplets of water from the shower. He stroked my wet hair still mumbling in Russian pressing gentle kisses all down the back of my neck. I kept my face turned away from him as tears flowed freely down my cheeks . I tried to keep myself from sobbing, but it was futile. As wonderful as it had felt making love with him, I knew now that he was truly over me in every way possible. The fact that he could just jump her bones like that in the shower showed me that he was done mourning. I had to be strong and get past it so we could have a life together, but right now, my emotions were so overwhelming, I thought I would drown.

DPOV

I thought making love with her would feel amazing and it did, while we were in the heat of the moment, but after was a completely different story. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't so I mumbled my love for her in Russian over and over telling her just how happy I was to have her back in my arms even if I could never tell her I knew. She was trying to hide it, but I could feel that she was sobbing. I knew it was because she thought that by giving in to Soraya, I had forgotten her. Nothing could be further from the truth. She plagued my mind constantly and always would. If she were truly gone from this Earth, there would never be another woman for me. I would spend the rest of my days alone waiting so I could be with her in the afterlife. I wanted to tell her that I knew that she was my Roza and to dry her tears and see that beautiful smile she reserved only for me. Alas, there was a reason she wasn't cluing me in and until I knew what it was, I had to remain silent. The last thing I wanted was to lose her again due to my own foolishness. So for tonight, I would hold her because it was all I could do.

Two days later, we stood in front of the fireplace in the great room of the royal palace. Lissa had invited her closest friends and family to a Christmas gathering. I was surprised to see that I was not the only guardian in attendance that wasn't on duty. Eddie Castile was here as well as Hans Croft and two or three others. Abe Mazur was here as was Janine Hathaway who had accompanied Lord Seltzky. I decided to stand back and observe Rose while she was with her former friends and family. From the way she and Lissa interacted, I knew she was not privy to Rose's identity.

I watched as she mingled awkwardly with some of the other royals before downing a glass of champagne and heading straight over to where Abe was standing.

"Soraya my dear. It's so lovely to see you again. Rumor has it you took out a strigoi a few weeks ago," he greeted her.

"That rumor happens to be true," she stated.

"I knew that you had it in you," he said patting her on the back with the look of a proud father.

They conversed for a while and when they finished, he pulled her in for a hug. I had seen them interact on several occasions when Rose was alive and he never once made a move to touch her, but as Soraya, he seemed to hug her every time saw her. That puzzled me greatly. I was about to go and get her, but before I could Ivashkov pulled her into a dark corner. My blood boiled at the thought of his hands on her. I crept closer to see what they were up to.

"How are you really?" he asked as they stood very close together. Her head leaned on his shoulder.

She shrugged. "I'm okay I guess."

"Heard you killed a strigoi. That's pretty impressive," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Sure, killing one strigoi is really impressive," she snorted.

"So I see you and Belikov are together. How's that going?" Now this is what I wanted to hear.

"Not good, "she said and my heart fell.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just it's nothing. I'm being stupid."

"You had sex and now you're afraid he's forgotten you," he said.

"Yes," she cried. "How could he just make love to her like that? Maybe he never really loved me."

"Whoa, calm down. You're making my head spin ," he said setting down his drink. "Calm down Little Dhampir." I did a double take wondering if I had heard him right. He called her by the same pet name as he called Rose. This was fucking unbelievable. Did everyone but me know she was back? Why the hell would she tell him and not me? Did she really think I could forget her that easily? I didn't realized how hard I was clutching my beer bottle until it cracked in my hand.

"Dimitri, are you okay?" Jill asked coming up beside me with a towel to dry the blood off my hand.

"I'm fine, "I said.

"You don't have to be jealous of Adrian. He isn't moving in on Soraya. He's already taken," she said pointing to where Sydney stood on the other side of the room talking to Sonya and Mikhail.

"Why would I be jealous?" I asked not knowing if Rose had told anyone we were together or not. I had no problem telling the world we were together, but I wasn't sure yet how she wanted to handle things.

"Because Adrian is talking to your girlfriend silly," she said slapping my arm.

"Girlfriend?" I asked.

"Don't worry, none of us are here to judge anyone else on their alternative relationships. Believe me."

"She told people we were in a relationship?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, she told Lissa and well you know Lissa can't keep a secret to save her life at least when it comes to love."

"She told Queen Vasilissa that we're in a relationship?" I asked again dumfounded.

"Well I think her exact words were I'm in love with him," she quoted with a smirk.

"So are you in love with her too?" she asked her eyes getting all dreamy.

"I am," I admitted freely. There was no way I could deny my feelings for her. I was ready to get a verbal lashing from her for falling in love with another woman so quickly, but instead she squealed and hugged me tight.

"I'm so happy for you. It was so hard trying to get you two together. I mean seriously that zoo trip was a total disaster. Who knew Rose was afraid of animals?"

"Rose?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow.

"Holy shit! Did I say Rose? I meant Soraya," she cried, slapping her hand over her mouth in shock.

"Ah, but you said Rose," I said steering her to a private corner.

"How is it that all of you knew that Soraya is Rose and how long have you known?" I demanded.

"Uh, well, we're not really supposed to know. Sydney figured it out because Adrian kept trying to figure out what was wrong with her Aura and then of course I found out because of the bond and then Christian found out at Soraya's birthday party and well.. Hey, wait! How did you figure it out?" she asked.

"It was a lot of things," I said running my hands through my hair. Ultimately it was something she said, but her actions have been so much like Rose for so long, I don't know how I didn't see it sooner."

"Well I'm so glad you know now. You two must be really happy to be back together."

"I am, but Rose doesn't exactly know that I figured it out," I said.

"What?" she cried, her jaw dropping. "You didn't tell her you know? Why the hell not?"

"I didn't know if it was safe. I figured there was a reason she didn't tell me, but now that I know everyone else knows I'm a little confused," I admitted.

"Oh no she couldn't tell anyone. Don't feel bad. They forbid her from telling anyone. That was the clause. If she tells, she gets sent back. We all figured it out on our own so it's okay, but if she tells anyone she's not really Soraya, they'll take her. She's so scared they'll take her."

I walked away from Jill feeling a whole lot better than I had at the beginning of the evening.

"Hey there stranger, where have you been all night?" she asked slipping her arms around my waist.

"Missing you," I said turning to face her planting a kiss on her nose.

"Let's go somewhere more private," I suggested, not wanting to waste another minute of our time together."

"We can't. Not yet. Lissa is just about to call everyone to dinner," she said turning her attention to where Lissa was indeed poised to make an announcement.

It was a very long evening and sitting through dinner and the rest of the night was making me itchy. I wanted to get her alone. I was sorely disappointed when Lissa requested me to work an overnight shift at the front gates due to an important royal arriving late this evening. If I had to guess, I think she'd planned this on purpose so that I would stay away from Soraya. She had been shooting daggers at us all evening from across the table to which Rose kept rolling her eyes and downing more champagne.

"I'll miss you tonight," she said kissing me as I left her at her door.

"How about dinner tomorrow? My place at say seven," I requested.

"If there's food, you know I'll be there," she joked.

"Then it's a date," I said.

"It's a date," she agreed.

**Okay not going to lie. I am so stumped at where to go from here. Obviously Dimitri needs to come clean, and Lissa needs to find out, but for some reason I am drawing a huge blank. Any suggestions are welcome. Nothing too out there though, I would still like to keep them in character. **

**Reviews may spark my creative genius… so let me know what you thought.**


	27. Chapter 26: I Can't do This

**Chapter 26: I Can't Do This**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy**

**I do apologize for my very late update. Had surgery on Friday and again on Monday. I was a little doped up on meds. Then as bad luck follows me around like a dark cloud, my husband had a severe attack of gastritis and ended up in the ER on Wednesday so I've been pretty busy. Sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

RPOV

"This is amazing," I commented as Dimitri pulled out a chair for me. He had really pulled out all the stops for our date. He'd taken the time to light candles, drape a red table cloth over his kitchen table and there were champagne flutes along with perfect table settings. It was very unlike any date I'd imagined he would ever take me on. Maybe things were different now that he was dating a royal moroi.

"Only the best for you," he stated, his accent lacing his every word as he set two plates on the table. My eyes welled up with tears as I took in the contents of the plates.

"What's the matter? You don't like pepperoni pizza?" he asked, his brown eyes boring into mine. He seemed bewildered at my odd behavior.

"No, of course, I love it. Thank you. This whole thing is very sweet," I said choking back a sob.

"I'm glad you like it. I made brownies for dessert. Double chocolate fudge," he added.

I sucked in a deep breath and took a few bites of the pizza, which was my absolute favorite of course. Why would he serve Soraya my favorite meal? Was he trying to pretend she was me or was he so unimaginative that he used the same lines and date ideas on every girl. Come to think of it, I didn't really know much about Dimitri's dating history at all. Maybe he was some sort of womanizer.

"How was your day?" he asked seemingly oblivious to my discomfort.

"It was good. Lissa dragged me out to the shops here at court to Christmas shop a bit," I muttered.

"You don't enjoy shopping?" he asked.

"I like shopping, I just don't like Christmas." He raised his eyebrow at that. Most moroi loved Christmas, but right now, I was too agitated to keep up pretenses.

"What about you? What did you do?" I queried changing the subject.

"After we trained, I came home and cleaned up a bit."

"Why? You're a neat freak, I can't imagine anything was out of place," I laughed.

"You think you know me that well," he said smirking.

I shrugged. "You're nothing if not a perfectionist."

"So I saw you with Abe Mazur the other day. You seemed friendly. What is that about?" he asked.

"Abe was good friends with my father. Growing up he was like an uncle to me."

"Well you should be careful. He's a bit of a zmey," he warned not unlike he warned me when he was strigoi in Russia.

"So I've been told," I said pushing my pizza around on my plate. Suddenly I wasn't all that hungry anymore.

"You didn't eat much. Would you like a brownie?" he asked coming up behind me, kissing my neck seductively. Any other time, his lips in that spot would elicit the most erotic feelings, but today was different. All day I had to listen to Lissa's internal rant about what a hussy I was for seducing Dimitri when he was so clearly in pain from losing the real me. If only she knew that he was over me and that I didn't have to do very much to seduce him. He was ready and willing which didn't make me feel confident that he had ever loved me the way I loved him.

On the outside Lissa had been polished and polite, just the way she always was, but on the inside she was fuming and some of it was starting to rub off on me. I knew part of it was the darkness, but the other part was definitely me. Truth be told, the more I thought about it, the more steamed I was that he was able to forget me so easily. In fact, the feeling of his hands on me right now made my skin crawl.

"Would you care to dance?" he asked turning on the stereo to one of my favorite love songs, the one I'd deemed our song while we were on the road. As stunned as I was, I allowed him to pull me to my feet. My heart quickened as it always did when he wrapped his arms around me. My body loved his touch and as much as my mind protested, I continued to sway in time to the music with him.

When the song ended, he pulled back and looked me right in the eye. "There's no place I'd rather be than right here," he said leaning in kissing me with passion. I responded eagerly trying to forget the pain and anger I was feeling. How dare he play our song for her? I tried to calm down and remind myself that being with him this way was better than not being with him at all. He tangled his hands in my hair, lifted me into his arms and carried me towards the bedroom.

He made quick work of our clothes hovering over me, his hair falling loose from its ponytail. He was just as handsome as ever and even though I was angry that he was so attracted to her, I couldn't help myself. I wanted to be close to him even if I cried my eyes out over it later.

"I love you," he uttered cupping my face in his hands.

My chest tightened and it felt like all the air had been siphoned from my lungs.

"Get off me," I cried pushing him away from me. Tears sprung to my eyes as I jumped out of bed, searching for my clothes. "I can't do this anymore." The hole in my heart tore open as he admitted he loved another woman. This was just too much for me to handle right now. I had to get out of here. If it was just physical attraction, I could learn to deal with it, but him falling in love with her was a slap in the face.

"What's wrong? What do you mean?" he asked grabbing the sheet to cover himself as he moved to block my exit with his massive nearly naked frame.

"Nothing, I just need go go," I said trying to push past him. I did not want to have to explain why I was so upset.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you," he pleaded still preventing me from leaving.

"I can't. It's nothing. I just can't be here. This isn't working for me anymore," I shouted. He pulled me into his arms dropping the sheet as he did.

"Let me go," I cried attempting to hurt him, but of course he knew all my moves and even buck naked he could thwart me easily.  
"I can't let you leave upset like this," he said.

"Why not? Why does it matter? I'm just your charge," I cried.

"Is that what you think? It isn't true. I'm in love with you," he argued.

With those words, I allowed Lissa's dark mood to take me over completely.

"How could you love me?" I screeched banging on his chest. "You don't even know me? You met me seven months ago. How could you possibly love me? I'm a moroi, a royal moroi. I'm weak and skinny and I'll always be a burden to you," I ranted. I was rapidly losing my battle to stay in control of my emotions.

"You silly girl. Do you honestly think I could love anyone the way I loved you?" he asked stroking my hair as I continued to sob into his bare chest.

"What?" I stammered sniffling as I pulled back to look at him.

He was smiling at me with such love in his eyes that it only made me cry harder. How could he love her? They just met. Just a few months ago, he was getting wasted and mourning my death. How could he have moved on so quickly? Had he ever even loved me at all?

"Listen to me," he said forcing me to look him in the eye. "You have been and still are the only woman in the world who has ever been able to capture my heart. I could never make love to anyone but you."

I shook my head not comprehending his words.

"You don't even know me. You don't even know who I am," I argued.

He leaned down his breath hot in my ear. "Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out Roza?" he whispered.

I inhaled sharply at his words. I looked at him, entirely awestruck by the amazing man in front of me.

"I was hoping you would," I cried launching myself into his arms kissing him with all the passion in me.

"Can I take you to bed now?" he asked resting his forehead against mine as we pulled apart both breathless and panting.

"There's no place I'd rather be Comrade," I murmured bracing myself for what I knew would be the ultimate reunion.

He lay me down appraising the length of my body appreciatively ghosting his hands slowly over my subtle curves eliciting a low moan as he lit a trail of fire every place his hands touched me. I couldn't believe how different being with him right now felt than just a few minutes ago.

"Make me yours Comrade," I begged as he continued to tease me relentlessly with his lips.

"I told you before that I wouldn't always be so controlled," he groaned. "Are you ready for that Roza? Are you ready for me to lose control?"

"So ready," I murmured. That was all the invitation he needed before grabbing me by the thighs and flipping me onto my stomach.

"Wow, when you said you were in control before, you weren't lying," I panted as he clutched me against his body. I was still in a euphoric haze.

"I make it a point never to lie Roza," he breathed kissing my neck softly.

"How long have you known?" I asked turning to face him.

He smiled. "Since the motel."

I sighed in relief. Nothing romantic had happened between us before that point thus proving his loyalty to my honor.

"How did you figure it out?" I asked biting my lip nervously.

"Well if you're asking if one of the ten other people who know your secret told me, the answer is no," he growled. I knew he couldn't be happy that he was one of the last to know it was me.

"I didn't tell any of them," I reassured him.

"I know," he said squeezing my shoulder. "Jill explained things to me."

"If they didn't tell you, then how did you know and why didn't you tell me you knew?"

He shrugged. "Some of it came from a feeling I get whenever I'm around you. It's like we're meant to be together. I didn't understand it until I began to put it together with your odd behavior though. Besides that night you completely gave it away," he said.

"How so?" I asked.

"You called me Comrade."

"I did?" I gasped.

He nodded. "I didn't put it together at first, but after another one of those dreams, it was so obvious. I couldn't believe how oblivious I'd been."

"Dreams?" I asked.

"My subconscious must have known it was you. I kept having these dreams about you. You were pleading with me to see you. You kept saying why can't you see me?"

I snickered a little.

"What? Why are you laughing?" he asked curiously.

"Adrian's been dream stalking you," I laughed.

His eyes widened. "You think?"

"Oh yes, I think," I said.

"Well for once, I'm grateful to Ivashkov."

"Don't let him hear you say that," I said smirking.

"As long as I have you in my arms, nothing else matters," he said pulling me close enveloping me in his strong embrace.

**Aww what a sweet reunion! Was it worth the wait? Lissa is still in the dark and then there's a matter of Andrew. I will try to update in a timely manner, but you never know with my crazy life. All I can promise is that I would never leave you hanging. I always finish my stories. Leave me some love. I need it right now. **


	28. Chapter 27: True Intimacy

**Chapter 27: True Intimacy**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

**Rose: (Holds a stake to my throat) Where the hell have you been? **

**Me: (hangs my head in shame) Busy. **

**Rose: What do you mean busy? Isn't it your job to write great stories? **

**Me: (Sighs) As much as I wish that were true, I actually have a real job that gets in the way of my writing. **

**Rose: Well don't let it happen again or I'll kick your ass! **

**Me: (Eyes Wide in Fear) Okay Rose! I promise I'll be better about updating. **

**I do apologize for the wait. I had to go back to work and things have been really hectic around here. I'm hoping to once again update once a week. 10 days at the most. Thanks for sticking with me if you're still here. **

**WARNING********* second half of this chapter is rated M. I'm sure you will like it, but if you're uncomfortable please skip it. **

LPOV

I watched from a distance as Dimitri and Soraya made spectacles of themselves. While it was true that it was very early in the day and there was no one around, I couldn't believe they had the audacity to flaunt their relationship in public.

My rage only grew as he brought her hand to his lips kissing it softly as they finished their laps. I'd tried and failed miserably to point out how garish they were being to all of our friends and what a disgrace to Rose's memory he was being by falling so hard and fast for her, but no one seemed to care. They were all very accepting that the happy couple was head over heels in love. Yep, you heard me, they're in love! Soraya had told me to my face that she loved him, but I figured it was just a fling to Dimitri. It was his way of getting Rose off his mind, but last week on New Year's Eve, when they kissed at midnight in front of everyone, I heard him declare his love for her albeit, he said it in Russian, but still. Rose would be so hurt to know that he'd fallen in love so quickly and with a moroi. Ugh! I didn't usually care what sort of relationships people were in, hell my own sister was pining away for a dhampir, which was fine by me, but this wasn't about race to me, it was about character. How could he just forget my best friend like that?

"Sickening isn't it?"

I spun around to see who else was out here spying on them at this hour. I was only half surprised to see that my company was none other than Andrew Badica.

I shrugged not wanting to reveal my hatred for the new couple. It wouldn't be very queenly of me.

"Oh come on. I saw how you were looking at them. Tell me it doesn't royally piss you off to see those two together?" he said, hands on his hips.

I sighed. "Okay, it does, but not because he's a dhampir, if that's what you're thinking," I relented. All I needed was to get a reputation for being bigoted.

"Thought never crossed my mind," he said holding his hands up in surrender.

"I just didn't think he could move on so quickly," I muttered.

"Him? What about her?" he snorted. "We've been together our whole lives. Then she just up and dumps me and takes up with this guy? No way in hell that happens. I know her and this isn't her," he said pointing to where the couple had entered the gym and were now sparring.

"Well he's acting strange too. I mean he's never been one to break a rule and then all the sudden he's dating his charge. What's up with that?" I asked confused as ever.

"I don't know, but wouldn't you like to find out?"

"Not really, what I really want it to break them up," I said feeling a twinge of glee at the thought of it. I knew it was the darkness creeping into me from using too much spirit this past week, but a part of me enjoyed the thought of breaking them up."

"So how do you want to do it?" he asked, a glint in his eye as he extended his hand towards me.

"I have a few ideas," I said shaking his hand firmly.

RPOV

"You have the night shift again?" I cried, utterly frustrated.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I don't sign up for it. It just happens," he said squeezing my shoulders in reassurance.

"I know. I just feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"Don't you find it a little odd that Lissa has called a special royal council meeting every day for the past two weeks?" he asked raising his eyebrow.

"Yes, of course I do. She calls a meeting and then there's barely anything on the agenda, but somehow she manages to keep us there all day," I huffed.

"And then she puts me on special night shift duty every day," he pointed out. "Do you see the pattern?"

"Ugh!" I should have known," I cried pounding my head lightly against the wall. "She's pissed that we're together and she's trying to keep us apart." I'm surprised that neither of us had realized this sooner even though her thoughts had been rather wicked concerning us these past few weeks.

"Maybe the two of you should talk," he suggested lacing up his combat boots.

"What would I say? You know I can't tell her the truth."

"The two of you were establishing a friendship. Why not play on that?"

"Nah, she won't buy it. Her feelings towards Soraya have changed since we started dating. She's cancelled our last few pool dates," I sighed.

"Don't worry Roza, it will all work out in time," he said placing a gentle kiss on my lips that left me wanting more.

"Can't you be late just this once?" I pleaded wanting so badly to feel his body pressed up against mine in the heat of the moment.

He gave me that oh Roza look he always gave me before shaking his head.

"I'll try to get off early before your meeting," he said kissing me again, this time with passion.

"We'll finish that later. I promise," he said slipping out the door.

"Damn you Lissa!" I cried throwing the nearest random object at the wall in utter frustration.

It had been two weeks since I'd seen Dimitri for more than twenty minutes at a time. This time though I would get her though. I could tell she was planning another annoying unnecessary meeting tomorrow so that right as Dimitri got off his shift, I would have to leave. Well no way. Not this time. I was done being her obedient subject.

It was about time I settled this Rose Hathaway style. I tried to sleep the best I could, but I was bursting with nerves hoping my plan would work. Dimitri would get off shortly after six and my meeting wouldn't start until seven so we didn't have a lot of time.

I woke around four and began tossing items into my suitcases. When I finished, I high tailed it over to Dimitri's apartment and did the same for him, lugging the heavy case back to my apartment.

"Well good morning to you too Milaya," Dimitri said catching me as I accosted him the moment he walked through the door. I kissed him ferociously for about thirty seconds before pulling away.

"Hurry, we don't have much time," I said shoving his bag into his hands while grabbing mine as I pushed him out the door.

"Where are we going?" he asked quirking an eyebrow at me as I continued to hurry him down the back stairwell. I didn't want there to be any chance of us getting caught.

"Shh," I said using my former guardian stealth to sneak us past the few people milling about at this early hour. "We're sneaking out."

He didn't put up an argument like I thought he would and readily drove the getaway car as I tossed him the keys.

"Okay, so do you want to tell me where we are going or am I supposed to guess," he asked once we had successfully made it past the front gates and were speeding steadily away from the royal court.

"Well, I was doing a search of all of my new assets and I found out that I am the proud owner of a cottage in the woods not too far from here."

The drive was pleasant and I laughed as Lissa realized she'd been duped. She'd had her guardians run all over court looking for Dimitri and I only to figure out that we'd signed out for the week private business. She was absolutely fuming. I decided it wouldn't hurt to spend a few minutes in her head while Dimitri was driving.

"Can you believe the nerve of her? She's a slut! That's what she is. She purposely spirited him away for the weekend to do nasty dirty slutty things. I can't believe I wanted to be friends with her. She's corrupting him. He never would have ditched out on his guardian duties before he met her!"

Christian's eyes were wide as she continued on with her angry tirade. I could tell he was about ten seconds away from blowing my secret and for a minute, I thought what the hell. At least if he blurts it out, then she'll stop trying to keep Dimitri and I apart. Then I remembered the not so subtle warning I'd received a few nights ago from Mason in the form of a dream. I totally thought I was being paranoid, but maybe it was real and the thought of being sent back was enough to make me keep quiet.

I pulled out of her head, grabbed my phone and punched in Christian's number. It rang six times and I held my breath praying he would pick up.

"Hello," he finally answered.

"Don't you dare tell her!" I screeched into the phone.

"Woah, Calm down. I wasn't going to," he said in a very unconvincing tone.

"Don't lie to me Sparky. I saw the look on your face when she was going on with her slut rant. You were about two seconds from blowing this thing out of the water."

"Look, I won't tell her, but seriously she's pissed at both of you right now."

"I know, but what she's doing is ridiculous trying to keep us apart."

"She's only doing it because she loves you, the real you," he sighed.

"I know and I love her for it, but we need some time together. We just found each other again. Try and keep her busy. She needs something to focus on."

"I'll try, but don't stay gone too long or I can't promise she'll stay sane. I'd better get back. I told her it was the bank on the phone about Tasha's estate."

"Everything settled?" Dimitri asked as I realized that the car had stopped moving and we were now parked in front of a not so small, but cozy looking cabin.

"Everything is great," I said.

"Does this place remind you of anything?" I asked as he unloaded our bags crunching over the snow towards the front of the house.

"Now that you mention it," he said setting our bags on the porch and coming back down to where I was standing.

"It reminds me of the first time I knew you were undeniably mine," he breathed lifting me up into his arms and hurrying up the stairs.

**WARNING ***************************M RATED SCENE****************WARNING**

We barely made it to the couch on the other end of the room, discarded items of clothing littering a path from the front door.

"Two weeks without being able to touch you like this is far too long," he murmured snapping open my bra with the flick of his wrist.

"Promise me something," I hissed as he pulled me into his lap latching his mouth onto my neck.

"Anything you want," he agreed.

"Don't hold back this time." He complied without hesitation gripping my ass in his hands as he buried himself deep inside me in one smooth swift motion.

"Ugh Comrade so good," I groaned as he leaned me back sucking and biting my aching breast, swirling his tongue around my hardened peaks.

"I need you so badly," he grunted as he continued to drive into me with wild abandon. I thoroughly enjoyed it as he brought me to the brink of ecstasy and back time and again knowing exactly what my breaking point was and hovering just below it knowing it would drive me to insanity.

"Please, Comrade, you're killing me," I pleaded, my voice strangled.

"Bite me Roza," he whispered, his hot breath on my ear causing me to shiver with pleasure.

"What?" I stuttered, not quite sure I'd heard him correctly.

"I want to be close to you. I don't want there to be anything we don't share. Take my blood," he urged.

"Dimitri it's wrong," I said trying to pull away from him, but he had me in an iron grip.

"I know that is how it is viewed, but I want you to do it. I want to know what it feels like to be connected to you in every way possible," he pushed.

To tell the truth, it was very tempting. It had been very pleasurable allowing Adrian to bite me in a sexual manner and I could only imagine the heightened senses it would bring to us right now in the heat of the moment.

"Comrade are you sure?" I asked pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I've never been more sure about anything," he said.

I nodded secretly wanting this as much as he did. My body craved his blood on a daily basis and every time I felt it pulse through his veins, I ached to drink from him like the way I had at the motel that day.

I leaned forward brushing his hair away from the nape of his neck gently sinking my fangs into him. The feeling of euphoria that washed over me as his blood flowed down my throat was indescribable.

"Roza," he growled thrusting into me maniacally, his hands nearly bruising my delicate skin as his fingers dug into my flesh causing the ultimate sensation of pleasure and pain.

"Oh my God," I cried out inhumanly after detaching my fangs from his neck. I was so intoxicated right now that I was nearly blind as he continued to move inside of me. He flipped me around throwing me over the side of the couch gripping my hips tightly as he plowed into me with more vigor than I ever thought possible. My hands dug into the sofa as I rode out the waves of pleasure that overcame me.

"Roza," he cried out, a long string of Russian words escaping him as he met his climax.

"There aren't words," I panted as we lay tangled together on the floor under an afghan. We had managed to make love four times in the past two hours and still, I felt bereft if he moved to far away from me.

"Amazing," he murmured kissing my cheek softly pulling the blanket tighter around us.

"Are you okay?" I asked fingering the two tiny puncture holes in his neck.

"I'm more than okay," he said smiling as he brushed a stray strand of my hair out of my eyes.

"How did you feel, you know during?" I asked biting my lip as I nervously awaited his response.

"It was the most pleasurable and intimate experience I've ever had. I've never felt anything like it before. The intensity and passion we shared were unparalleled." He took my hand in his bringing it to his lips closing his eyes as he kissed it gently.

"I didn't make you feel like a blood whore?" I asked.

"Of course not," he said. "I love the fact that my blood is what sustains you. It makes me feel like you need me," he stated.

"I always need you Comrade."

"No, the old you, the dhampir warrior, did not need me. You may have wanted me, but you were a force to be reckoned with."

"And that bothered you?" I asked.

"No, it didn't bother me, per say, I just knew that you didn't need me around."

"I've always needed you Comrade. Wait a minute! Are you somehow implying that now that I'm moroi, I'm some sort of damsel in distress?" I growled sitting up.

"Absolutely not. You are far more capable than people give you credit for," he said kissing my nose.

"It is one of the things I love most about you."

"My kick ass ability?" I snorted.

"No, your ability to take any situation and make the best of it. A lot of people wouldn't have taken to having to live a whole new life they way you have."

"Believe me it isn't easy and most of the time it sucks," I muttered.

"But you make it work. You've found a way to do great things with limited resources. You're the most amazing woman I've ever known.

"I love you Comrade," I whispered, a tear making its way down my cheek.

"I love you too maya Roza," he said wiping away the tear with the pad of his thumb.

"I really should start a fire if we don't want to freeze to death tonight," he said attempting to stand.

"Funny, cause I thought the fire was under here," I said wrapping my legs around him pressing my breasts up against his face, feeling quite quickly that he was already primed and ready to go a fifth time.

"You realize we're never going to leave this room," he said as he hovered over me.

"Is there someplace you'd rather be?" I asked quizzically.

"Absolutely not," he said pressing his lips to mine with fervor.

**So what did you think of the blood sharing? I for one have always wanted to write a scene like this. Let me know what you thought. **


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